Monday, September 27, 2010

Xanax with a Scotch chaser....

Nah, not really.  I'd just do the Scotch solo. 

But, I did start that swallow awareness stuff at lunch time today, so I decided to call my doc and ask for some Xanax.  I had a 2007 prescription for it, quantity of thirty, of which twenty-seven are still in the bottle.  I would surmise that I'm probably not the type to get addicted to it.

Well, seems the PC (Primary Care) has decided he wants to see me tomorrow, so I'll take him my lovely tumor photos so I can ruin his lunch, too.  My appointment is at 1PM, so hopefully, he'll have the biopsy results back too.  Or... maybe he got them today, and that's why he wants to see me. :P

I got lots of hugs and love at work today, as a good 98% of our site already knows about my diagnosis.  I had called my boss on Friday to tell him of the excitement, and he told two friends, and THEY told two friends... you get my drift.

My dear friend, Linda, in HR said that happily, medical leave is a LOT more simple a transaction than it was in back in the day when I had Breast Cancer (BC).  So, at least that's one less thing about which to stress.

My co-worker, John, who I also think of as the younger brother I never had, and I were having a discussion of my exciting diagnosis, and we shared some jokes and I was feeling much more myself, i.e., able to cope and be the resident Finance comedian.  Of course, in the cube farm in which I work, if you blink, everyone in the aisle and then some can hear you.  So it was no surprise, really, when a lady from Procurement came by to tell me that I was an inspiration. 

HAH, I told her... you didn't see me on Saturday, when I was the queen of neurosis!  I've had time to digest this all, and put the ME back in the equation.  And I'm still the queen of neurosis, but she's currently tied up in the basement ... if I had a basement, that is.

It's just that one thing I learned from my last go-round with cancer is that it's so TIRING to be afraid all the time.  I'm much happier... being .. um... happy.  And I defintely still have the neuroses moments, but I'll have you know I played a good three hours of Dragon Age:  Origins tonight, and never gave my swallower one thought.

So, tomorrow it's off to the PC, and maybe I shall learn my cancer type, stage, etc.  Oh boy.  But, as with the BC, just give me a plan of attack, and I can cope.  It's the unknown that makes me nutso.  Oh, don't you love my acronyms?  Thirty-four years in aerospace... yeah, ... acronyms....

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