Friday, September 30, 2011

I am SO Happy!

It's wonderful to be home.  Nancy made me bacon and french toast this morning.  I slept through the night with no one coming in at two AM to find out why my heart rate went up.  (Dreaming a really good dream and you just woke me out of it?)  But the monitoring was most appreciated.


Must make sure I drink plenty of fluids and not walk too much.  There's a switch.  I got in trouble for walking too much in the hospital.  I thought it would be good for me.  Oh well.


I am wearing what are now my very favorite pair of earrings.  Got 'em on clearance from QVC.  Pearls... beautiful, dangly.  Let me see if I can find them.  They may be sold out.  There they are on the link above.  I got them in the sunset grouping.  So very pretty!


Now, it's time to rest up a bit, because I have to go out at Noon to get my PT/INR at the local lab, then hit Walgreen's to get my coumadin.  Oh boy!  :D


Hugs to all!



Thursday, September 29, 2011

HOME!

This is just a quick note to let everyone know I am home.  I have a couple of new prescriptions, and I have to go to the blood lab tomorrow so they can check my clotting rate (PT/INR), but tonight I can sleep in my own bed, with my own pillows---and life is good!

A special THANK YOU goes out to Rebecca, my RN for at least three nights that I can remember, and to Janet from oncology, you made me laugh, and you made me so very glad to have met you.  You are an amazing woman.  Good luck on your treasure hunts!

Now, I'm all drugged up and ready for bed.  Peace, happiness and love to all.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Blech....

The good news is that I am off the heparin drip and just on coumadin.  That means, if all goes well, I will go HOME TOMORROW!

This morning, though, I had mutated into Zombie Tequila.  Vicodin and I just don't mix, apparently.  And the puking began.  And more drugs were given (Phenergan.)  And the Zombie Tequila emerged.

But, it's three PM, now, and Human Tequila is almost back.  Thankfully, the nurses tell me, I didn't manage to eat any brains.  I didn't eat anything.  Which was a bummer because I had had a nice breakfast ordered.  Alas.

Visitors are here so I shall close this post.  Love to all!






Tuesday, September 27, 2011

And I Give In

I asked for pain meds.  My left leg, in which I have Deep Vein Thrombosis, hurts SO much, I can barely move, and it almost reduced me to tears. So Dr. Ramaswamy ordered some Vicodin, but he says I have to get some anti-nausea meds on board first.  I've had one tablet so far, but I am going to bite the bullet and ask for another.

Oh, and it turned out that the creepy alarm that went off this morning was actually a fire drill.  Still not terribly reassuring that we patients get shut up in our rooms while the staff evacuates.  But, then again, I couldn't walk, so...  :)

Anyway, Dr. R says that if we can get the pain under control, MAYBE I can go home tomorrow.  Otherwise,we'll shoot for Thursday.  Good gods, that would make a week in the Big House!  Well, whatever....I just want to be safe and well.

And One Is Lost

It has been a disheartening day in the hospital.  The code blue alarm just went off, and it's here in the Progressive Care Unit (AKA telemetry.)  Even more disconcerting?  They just came and closed my door, so it is one of my neighbors.  I said a prayer.

Yes, that's how it has been today; lots of codes.  Sad.

I might be taken off the heparin drip today, then I might be able to go home soon....please!

Anyway, the last code has left me a bit shaken, probably mostly because they closed my door. I don't know WHY that bothered me so much.   I need to get a grip.

Okay, I just wanted to let everyone know I'm still here...in the Big House, that is.  My friend, Annette, came to visit, yesterday, bearing See's Candy!  YAY!

Be safe and stay well, all.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Tumor Shrinkage

Dr. Fastenberg came in this morning, and I finally got a bit more information on the results of Friday's CT scan.  The lymph node in the middle of my chest had significant shrinkage, but the most amazing news is that the tumor on my adrenal gland shrunk by HALF!

Talk about good news! :)  I am so very lucky.

I won't be having my scheduled chemos this week, but we do want to continue on this regimen.  Who wouldn't?  Dr. F wants to see me next Tuesday and we'll go from there.  As for my stay in hospital, there is no telling when I'll get sprung from 'dis joint.'  I can't wait to get home to Cisco, who has not been taking my absence very well.

Well, I'm going to go read for a while.  Love to all!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Back to the Nurses

Reading over yesterday's post, it seems I got derailed from my original topic.  So let's get back to the nursing staff.

I can remember being in hospital back in the late 1980's.  In those days you rarely saw nursing staff.  They mostly stayed sequestered behind thick glass walls, and tended to converse with patients via some kind of tin can-sounding two-way radio.  They always sounded harrassed and displeased that you dared bother them in their crystal fortress.  Peon.

Fast-forward to 2011.  There is a low-tech, incredibly useful white board in my room.  It's communication central for nursing staff, my doctors and I.  Pretty much everything I need to know is on this board.  If there is still something more I need to know, there is section for me to write down my questions or concerns, so I don't forget to ask my doctors.

Prominently featured at the top of the board is my room number and the phone number.  Next comes the names of all the staff seeing to my care on the current shift.  I love this feature because I appreciate being able to thank people by name.

Staff normally lists my RN, the RN Manager, the Nursing Assistant, and my Physician.  Last night we had to add my respiratory therapist to the mix.  Yep, the lungs are acting up just a tiny bit, so Dr. Ramaswamy is being cautious and ordered nebs every six hours.

The board continues with pain management information.  My section is blank, as I'm not experiencing any major pain.  If you havve any testing scheduled, there's a spot for that.  Next is an area for 'Today's Goals.'  As ever, my goal is to live and be happy.

I really like the next section:  'What would make your stay excellent?'  My sisters wrote 'chocolate' and 'red wine.'  I have since ammended this to GOOD red wine. :)

Finally the last section is where I can list my questions and concerns.

So if we compare the communication quality between patient and nurse, 1986 vs 2011, it's apparent that your chances to survive a hospital stay should be much greater based on the communication factor alone.

The main thing is that I can see an entire attitude change from autocratic despots to people that want to partner WITH you to give you CARE.

 More next post.  I want to go take a jaunt around my floor. :)

Love to all!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Nurses Are Awesome

About 100 years ago, my aunt Lorraine would take we girls to Hawaii every summer.  One year,we were on the Big Island, I think on the Kona side, and we found a restaurant we loved.  Now, granted, there was Auntie with three comely young ladies, and that habitually got us fine service, but at this particular establishment, the service was impeccable.
While I may have  forgotten the name of the place, I will never forget the entire experience of dining there.  I've been feeling the same appreciation for the nursing staff of the 4th floor here at Banner Baywood.

I'm a good patient when it comes to compliance, but I acknowledge that when it comes to complaining about things like pain, or any kind of discomfort, I suck.  I was not reared to complain...ever, and so when I'm asked if I'm in pain, I will invariably tell you 'no.'  And this can kill you.  Pain usually happens to warn you of something, but I have been attributing pain of late to being an expected consequence of chemotherapy, and just dealing with it.

Now, with the blood clots it's become very apparent that I *must* learn to tell my doctors about pain and anything else I can perceive as being beyond the norm.

So it seems that I will be here until Tuesday.  There was some discussion among my docs of implanting a filter to keep any more Pulmonary Embolisms from occurring, but instead, I may end up on blood thinners long-term.

Transfusions

I got a unit of blood, starting at 1AM. This was my first ever transfusion, and made me very grateful to EVERYONE that donates blood.  I'll be getting another unit soon.  Rebecca, my RN, has done my blood draw,and Allison just took my vital signs.

Lack of sleep is not helping me get well, but it IS making me thankful for every bit of sleep I can get.

I had a blood pressure of 95/23 last night, but this morning, it was 112/60.  Much better!

It's 4:21AM, so I am going to try for a little more sleep....or I'll call my sister Wendy, who I *know* will be up.

Friday, September 23, 2011

In Hospital

This morning I headed to Ironwood Cancer & Research Center for my CT scan.  When I got home my oncologist called to tell me to get to my hospital's ER...the scan found a blood clot in my lungs.

But, he also told me that there was tumor shrinkage!  It looks like we are getting great results from this chemo.

Anyway, I am now in Banner Baywood and will be here until Tuesday, probably.  I'm on a heparin drip, hopefully disintegrating the clot.

Take care, all.  I love you.  :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Bit O' Nausea

It's just there, at the edges of my ability to perceive nausea.  Not horrible enough to make me barf, but kind of like a warning that it could get there, if I don't watch out!


Happily, I'm still at the salad craving stage, so I had one of my favorites this evening.  I don't even want to know the nutritional value.  I am eating it, and that's good enough for me.  It's from Wendy's, of all places.  It's their Spicy Chicken Caesar Salad, and I love it.  It comes with two things of dressing, so I only use one, and that's plenty for me


El Pollo Loco has a Mexican Caesar Salad with cilantro dressing and cotija cheese.  Oh yeah, now that one is definitely my favorite.  Hits me right in my Latina heritage. :D  YUMMY!


It's weird that I can be nauseated and still eat.  But of course, I have to eat, and I have to eat good stuff.  Good nutrition will help me maintain strength, be able to heal, and frankly just deal with all the chemo by-products.  I stopped taking a bunch of supplements when I got the cancer, especially the ones with HUGE pills.  I can't get them down.  I was thrilled when they came out with the tiny Krill Oil caplets.  I'd been taking fish oil for years, on the advice of my primary care doc, but those giant 'softgels' I just could not swallow any more.


So, now the only nutritional supplements I still take are Magnesium, which I take for lung function, the krill oil, B6, which helps to keep the Hand-Foot syndrome at bay, Turmeric, because I heard it was a cancer cell killer, and if all I get are placebo effects from it, I'm happy with that.  I should probably look into a good multi-vitamin that's not ginormous.  Maybe if I feel well enough, I'll take a trip to Sprout's this weekend.  I need to get more of my Xylitol mouthwash, in any event.


Tomorrow I must remember to drink even more than usual, since the iodine is very hard on my kidneys, and gods know I don't want kidney failure as my next 'challenge.'  Oh lord, it's after ten PM and I am still up.  My doggies are ready for bed, so I guess I should end this and get some sleep.  


Be well, all.  



Monday, September 19, 2011

Every Once in a While...

...you have to change things up.  I was feeling more green than dark blue, and so my blog background had to be adjusted. :)


Tomorrow, I'll do my last four Xeloda tablets for this round.  Thank the deities.  Friday, it's time for another CT scan.  To say that I'm already fretting about it is an understatement.  Frankly, I'm terrified.  I have never ... not ONCE ... had good news following a CT.  As Gilda Radner said, 'It's always something!'  I have her book of the same title, describing her journey through ovarian cancer.  I can't read it right now.


I just have to tell myself not to think about it until Friday morning, when I get another exciting frosty shake of barium and the joy of iodine ... checking in at SIX!  And I thought the Eight AM chemo was bad.  HAH! ;)


Pessimistic isn't normally how I view the world, and I am trying hard to visualize a great outcome for this week's scan.  It's not helping that I feel horrible from the week's worth of chemo.  I have always had a hard time being upbeat when I feel crappy.  I'm guessing that's probably true for everyone.  But on the bright side... and of course, there always is one, just sometimes they are harder to find than others...temperatures are coming down in The Valley of the Sun.  YAY!


Also, my very favorite holiday of all time, Halloween, is coming up fast.  It will be bittersweet this year, as Halloween was also my brother Jerry's birthday, and this will be the first one since he died.  But that's what the season is for; to honor your departed loved ones and keep their memories close.


So that brings up a delightful dilemma:  What shall I be this Halloween?  If I do get clearance to return to work in mid October, Halloween falls on a Monday, which would be the PERFECT day to wear a costume to work.  Hmmm, it would have to be something that would go well with my scooter.  Maybe I could get Nancy to mount my broom to my scooter... oh man, now I really want to go to work on Halloween!


There.  I feel better already.  You just have to keep in mind all the great things in your life, and you can get through anything.  This is also why I have this blog, so that I can work through the silly fears and get back to having a life.


Be well, all!




Saturday, September 17, 2011

Sleepy... so sleepy!

Here I am, in the fifth round of my Camptosar/Xeloda clinical trial.  Apparently, this is the sleeeeepy phase.  All I want to do is sleep.  And believe me, if I lie down, I sleep.  I can sleep 20 hours a day right now.  But, I am trying to stay upright more than 4 hours at a time. :)


Dr. Fastenberg did warn me that the fatigue would be a cumulative effect of this regimen.  Because it's Saturday, I only have a few more days of the Xeloda then I get my week off.  YAY for the week off!


Outside, the sun is shining brightly and my bougainvillea and hibiscus are spreading colorful cheer all over the place.  We have some parts of the back garden that need a good clean up after the past week of storms, hail, lightning, and dust storms.  The gazebo over the spa needs to come down.  Besides, the Indian Rosewood tree is now providing ample shade, and looks glorious, too!


Jane's going to make one of my favorite dinners tonight: chicken, rice and spinach.  I don't know why I love rice and spinach so much, but of course, it has to be the RIGHT rice; whole grain red, brown, some rye, some barley.  I guess it's more of a rice and grain mixture, rather than plain rice.  


Tomorrow, my Chicago family, Jon and Michelle, are going to join us in a dungeon run.  I may not make it, if I am very tired, but we have enough of us to make it doable.  Wendy will be there; if there is one thing that playing World of Warcraft does for us, it helps keep our family members connected, even though they are across the country.  Where it's cold.  I want some cold!  :D


So, fatigue is the explanation for why I haven't posted on the blog in a while.  But I am doing well, so no worries.  Everyone tells me I look great, that I don't look sick... well, except for the weird hair.  And that reminds me.... NANCY!  Get out the dog clippers!


Hugs and love to all!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Hair... Kinda

 Looking a tad woozy, aren't I?  Yes, I'm well into my infusions in this picture.  But LOOK!  I spy peach fuzz hair growth.  The only problem is there are still some bald spots, so I am thinking of having my sister take the dog clippers to me to kind of even things out again.


I have the feeling that the two main bald spots will never grow hair again.  No worries, I'm thinking I'll keep my hair very, very short from now on.



To the right there is my bag of Camptosar.  My oncology nurse today was Anne, and she's been there since the beginning, back a year ago.  She's pretty concerned about how I'm doing since this is the most difficult regimen I have had.  I told her it was getting a bit more trying with each round, but this was round five, and I have very few of the major worrisome side effects.  One more to go...one more to go!


My asthma was a bit problematic this morning, due to the high humidity from all the recent storm activity.  People kept commenting on my breathing; the nurses and even a couple of other chemo patients.  Oy!


Well, I'm still a bit blecchy, so I'm off to have a little rest.  But I did eat a nice salad for lunch.  Isn't it nice to have cravings, for a change, that are GOOD for you? :D


Love to all, keep safe, be well and drink lots of water. :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Coming up on Number Five

Tuesday will begin round five of the clinical trial chemos.  Blech.  Funny how you can make yourself do something that makes you so sick.  It's the promise of cancer redemption that keeps you going.  I'd like to think, too, that doing this trial is helping other people as well.  Stage I of this trial helped define the dosage tolerances.  I'm not sure what Stage II is doing, but whatever it is, we're doing it!


I had a dream last night; Jane had a weird screen saver on her computer's display.  I told her it was creepy because it was exactly like an ocular migraine.  Then I woke up... and was having an ocular migraine. :P


Having read about my cupcake cravings, Jane and Nancy came home with ingredients and made a batch of red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  And of course, I was done with my cupcake cravings.  But did I say NO to those pretty little things?  Heaven forbid!  Must eat those things made with love, you know.  Just don't eat five of them. :)


Last night saw a deluge of rain.  My sister-in-law, Julie, had called to say they had hail, really high winds and their power was out.  Julie lives ESE of us, and while we were on the phone, our house had blue skies and a light breeze, but you could see, off in the distance, a lot of dark thunderheads.


About an hour later, we got the deluge; no hail, plenty of wind and so much rain you couldn't see across the street.  It lasted probably fifteen minutes, and when I put the dogs out around Nine PM, my back yard was dry.  We really needed that rain!  I think it's still considered part of monsoon season, here, and it was quite a show with all the lightning.


So, I'm approaching Tuesday with trepidation, since the toxicity of the chemos is building up and it's taking me longer each time to start to feel human.  But I can't stop now; I'm in the home stretch!  I'll just learn to nap more.


Now it's time to hit the hookah (my pet name for my nebulizer) because it's humid and I have a hard time breathing when the air feels like a sauna.  Funny, when I lived in California, the spa my mom and I went to every day after work for our exercise regimen had a sauna, and I LOVED it!  Of course, I hadn't been diagnosed with asthma yet, back then.  Who knew I'd move to Arizona and get to experience wide-spread sauna-like conditions? :)  Luckily, we're USUALLY a dry heat.


Alrighty, then.  Have a fabulous week, all.  Kiss a puppy, or a kitty, or your spouse. :)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cravings

There is danger in having access to just about everything on the face of the planet via the www.  Today I had cupcake cravings.  I don't eat cupcakes, yet I had to stop myself from buying, of all things, a Cupcake Maker.  Seriously, if you have an oven, you already HAVE a cupcake maker; you don't need some silly pink cupcake-shaped, teflon-coated, electricity-hogging waste of space!


But I wanted one.  Yet, I was strong and got past that moment of madness.  Makes me wonder if the Queen of Neuroses has a pal... the Duchess of Dim-wittedness.  Could happen.


Time now to inhale some albuterol.  I see we have an Ozone Health Watch for tomorrow, and we're back up to around 108.  Joy.  Maybe tomorrow I'll crave an Icee or something very cold.  Oooh, snowcones!


I remember last year at this time wishing for cooler weather, which meant that I was hoping time would fly by into Winter.  THIS year, I'm just taking it as it comes.  I'd love cooler weather, but I don't want to wish my life away, either.  Of course, last year at this time, I had no idea I had a freaking monster in my esophagus, either.  That wasn't discovered until the last week of September.


So, yes, it's almost a year that I have survived this cancer.  I think, all things considered, that I am holding up pretty well.  I'd just love to have my life back; you know, work, be as social as I ever was, which wasn't much, but it was better than this feeling of isolation from the rest of humanity.  But it's so hard to leave the house.  It's just tiring!  You know, you have to be presentable, and then there's usually lots of physicality involved, and I'm weak as if, donating blood I gave a gallon of blood instead of a pint. 


Oh sure, the weather is not helping, nor the air lack-of-quality.  But you know, if I had a cupcake, I probably wouldn't mind...STOP THAT!  No cupcakes!  I just had some garlic bread; the last thing I need is more carbs.  Or sugar.  Ummm, cupcakes.  I'm losing it.


But not really, because in ten minutes I'll crave something else like prunes or pistachios, or pumpkin pie, or pickles... and I HATE pickles.  I think I need a nap.


Be well, all, and be thankful for all the love you have in your life, but remember it takes LOVING to earn love in return.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Can *I* do Six Rounds?

This is getting harder with every round of chemo.  I want to be one of the 30ish % that can make it through six rounds of this, but I am finishing up round four and I am sick as the proverbial dog.


My legs are swelling up, my hands and feet feel creepy, and I can't begin to tell you how nauseated I am.  But, tomorrow is my last day of chemo week ON, and I hope I can begin to feel better.  


I slept a bit this afternoon; I'm so tired, and so weak.  I guess tomorrow I had better start hitting the Lasix so I can keep the edema at bay.  I keep remembering the last time I saw my oldest brother in the hospital, and his legs were HUGELY swollen.  And so were my mom's at the end.  In fact, she got water blisters all over her legs.  Her beautiful legs.  Ok, now I am starting to freak myself out, which means I should probably get to bed before the Queen of Neuroses gets out of bondage and runs rampant through my brain.


Good night, all.  Don't worry, I'll get past this, and I *WILL* do six rounds of this.  For I am, of course, strong like bull.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

No Appetite

Losing your appetite is just another part of the whole chemotherapy journey.  It's my Chemo Week ON, which means I'm having chemo, in one form or another, for the entire week.  Tuesday starts Chemo Week OFF. :)


When I find it hard to eat, my sisters work diligently to tempt me.  Today, Jane made Steak Tagliata with Fresh Vegetable Salsa.  The salsa was scrumptious and complemented the steak with fresh, vibrant flavors.  Didn't eat much of it, but what I had was fantastic!  I'm trying to make sure I eat plenty of protein, so there is a bunch of greek yogurt in the fridge.  I like to mix it with granola or my muesli.


Tomorrow my sisters and I are going to do another all-sister dungeon run in World of Warcraft.  Hopefully, we can get past the first boss in this one.  Last time we tried, we just didn't have our hearts in it, and the boss kicked our pixels. But, we've gotten better gear, enchanted up, added gems, and I got my healer to level 83, so that should help a bit. 


And that's it for this post.  I'm tired, I hurt, I feel like crap, but it's only three more days until this week's chemo is done, and I can start to recover.  Love to all, and share some hugs!



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