Thursday, March 31, 2011

No Place Like....?

"There's no place like home!" says Dorothy Gayle in the "Wizard of Oz." Of course, most of us would agree. But I would also add that there's no place more engaging and invigorating than my place of work.

Yes, I worked at the plant today, and it made me very, VERY happy. There's a buzzing excitement everywhere you turn. We're making amazing, awesome products, and we're proud of them! The business is running incredibly well, and we're even more proud of that. We work hard, but we have fun because we have a business culture that makes it easy to voice opinions, share concepts and ideas, and not be afraid of being shot down.

It's funny because my doctors say people in my situation go on disability, or retire or just generally stop working. They find it amazing that I am fighting so hard to keep working. But how could I give up something that makes me so happy; something that buoys my spirit and invigorates me? Something that makes me feel productive! Something that challenges my brain and makes me feel alive.

Yeah, so I'm pretty giddy at the moment. I really needed to go to work today, and get charged up after yesterday's debacle. I took my scooter, and the ride over to Medical, at 6ish in the morning, was beautiful. Sunrise in the desert is a gift of nature. The colors were spectacular and the boat-tailed grackles were in full-on courtship mode, the male fluffing himself up and strutting about in front of his enamored female audience.

Of course, now that I have spent all day at work, I am exhausted. All that excitement, while enjoyable and wonderful, just wears me out. Tomorrow I'll telecommute and rest up. I'm one happy, lucky woman.

Live long and prosper, all! :)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Pet Scan Number Two.... Strike Two

UGH!  So, I have no idea what the heck happened today.  I got up, checked my glucose, which was 136.. not great, but nowhere NEAR 200, so I'm thinking we're in like Flynn.  


Alas, I get to Ironwood, and the tech takes my reading and we both gasp.  His meter reads 212.  WHAT THE ... FLOCK?  He says, we'll wait five minutes, and then test your other hand because... things happen.  I drink water and read my book.


Second reading, 220.  Is the stress of this whole situation making my glucose rise, because let me tell you, this whole enterprise is making me crazy:  it's demoralizing and frustrating as hell.  I have watched my glucose obsessively.  It's been fantastic since I got off the prednisone!  One last try, the tech says... we'll wait 15 minutes.


Third reading, 215... sorry, no scan for you today.  Ok, now I am so upset.  I make my sister drive me to Walgreens where I buy a new glucose meter.  I get home, prime it, and take a reading... 150.  Again, WTF?  So, I get out my regular meter, and test again.... 148.  This is driving me mad.  I don't know what to do!  My meters are fine; I use the control solution to check 'em out.  My test strips don't expire until 2012, so they are fine.  Apparently, my blood does not want another PET Scan.  But, I do, and so... we'll wait a week and try again.  And try again if that fails and if it does... then we'll keep trying.  


If I were laissez faire about compliance, then I would understand, but I am not.  (Insert very tired sigh here.)


But tomorrow, I am going in to the plant to work!  We've got my scooter all charged up and ready to hit the road.  I've got my Chevy guy working on getting me a class three hitch so that Mobility Center can install a lift for my scooter and then... the world is my oyster!  I'll be able to go anywhere BY MYSELF!  Muahahahahah.  But tomorrow, Nancy and Jane are driving me to work so that they can get the scooter out of my car for me.  Then they'll come get me after work.  Hopefully, this will be the only time they have to do this.


Must remember that I am supposed to report to Medical before I can actually go do some work.  I will show them that I am, once again... STRONG LIKE BULL!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Pet Scan Number Two, take Two...

The redo on the PET scan is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9:00.  My glucose has been stellar since I've been off the steroids, so I do not see any problems.  However, I didn't anticipate anything the last time, so I will be testing before I head out to Ironwood C&RC.  


I'm not having any major anxiety about the scan, since the last one seemed to be no problem.  But, the last PET was done at another facility.  However, Ironwood always seems to have top-notch equipment, so I'd guess the one tomorrow will be even better than the last one.  Yeah, that's what I'm going with on the anticipation front.  And yet, I shall still be packing the Xanax, just as a bit of insurance against a random anxiety attack.


I was warned not to wear an underwire bra for this scan.  HAH!  Those evil slings of torture?  No underwire has gotten near my 'girls' in years, and never shall again.  No, my 'girls' are quite happy with cotton; they need no trussing up in what amounts to barbed wire!  (Well, after being worn for more than an hour or so, it starts to FEEL like barbed wire, anyway.)


This handsome devil to the right is my Orange Wing Amazon Parrot, Vinnie the Vampire.  He's 15 years old, and is the sweetest thing on earth.  In the old days, before my lungs went to hell, I used to do minimal parrot rescue.  Vinnie wasn't exactly a rescue, but he wasn't a tamed bird, either.  We both had to overcome fear of each other, and now, we're great friends.  He was just under a year when he came to me, and enjoyed drawing blood, hence the "Vampire" sobriquet.


Not sure why I decided to talk about Vinnie today, but I love this picture of him, out in my back garden, and thought I'd share.


Take care, all.  Send me some good juju for tomorrow's scan.  HUGS!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

It was Time

So, how do you like the new look of my blog?  I just thought, since it was Spring, and all, it might be time to freshen up around here.  It's good to change up the colors every once in a while, don't you think?


That's it... just had to make a change.  Love to all


Edit:  that title image is one I painted using ArtRage and metallic inks.

Spring!

My sisters have headed off to Home Depot to begin our Spring ritual of seed procurement.  We have two 6'x11' planter beds for our vegetable garden.  In the past, we've grown several types of chili peppers, squashes, carrots, radishes and peas.


We have no luck with tomatoes, unfortunately.  I could tell you our Topsy Turvy tomato horror story, but I'll spare you that.  Suffice to say, the human injuries were non-life-threatening.  Sadly, though, all the tomato plants perished.


So, I am excited to find out which seeds will be coming home with my sisters.  It's early enough that the selection should be wide open.  And somehow, it's just more spiritual to consume something you have nurtured from soil you've enriched, and pampered and frankly, loved.  Of course, we use no pesticides.  We like to get lady bugs and let them have a feast.  Then again, I'm happy to share with native bugs, as long as they leave me plenty of veggies in the end.


Last night, we had chicken vegetable soup with Orzo.  We had asparagus, red peppers, spring onions, baby portabellas, and green and yellow squashes and a poblano.  We're so lucky that the variety of available vegetables is just wonderful here in Arizona.


For dinner tonight, we're just going to grill up a steak and have salads.  Obviously, I'm trying hard to keep my nutrition levels up, so that I can be strong enough to weather my treatments and any complications that will arise.


Life is amazing; give someone you love a HUGE hug today.

Friday, March 25, 2011

A Promise is a Promise..

...and so I give you a picture of my sister, Wendy, in her Nursing School's clinicals uniform.  I can't tell you how proud I am of her; she inspires me every day.  I know that any time I need to talk about anything she's there with her Sepulveda ears (which are nicely hidden in the picture above) ready to give encouragement or anything else I need.


I had my follow up with Dr. Ramaswamy today, and we talked about my mortality, and not in a frightening way, nor in a Pollyanna manner, either.  I told him I had gotten way past the 'oh, I'm dying' part and happily into, the 'Yay, I'm living' attitude.  That's not to say I'm not mindful of how things will progress, and I have made all the necessary arrangements, as I've said before.  So, I may be ready, but I'm not READY, if you get my drift.  I feel strong!  I feel invincible... today. ;)


Now I am looking forward to what should be a really wonderful weekend, weather-wise.  I may have to go get some sun... I can use the vitamin D and gods know I could use some color.  Maybe I'll take a short walk and see how that goes.  I just want to be up and moving.  


Ok, so there you have it; my sister's picture, and doesn't she look fabulous?  I love you, Wendy, and thank you Dean for taking the picture.  I love you, too. :)


Live long and prosper, all.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Greetings from Ironwood!

Jane and I have arrived at Ironwood Cancer and Research Center, and we are waiting for my oncology nurse to come by and begin the Benadryl before we hit the Herceptin.  It seems pretty quiet in here today.  But there is a group over here in the corner... one guy getting the chemo and an entourage of twenty-somethings providing encouragement. :)

It's an absolutely beautiful day today.  There is a cool breeze, and the car said it was 69 outside.  Lots of sunshine, although, there are supposed to be clouds coming in again.  We looked, but we don't see any.

So, I got in five and a half hours of work before we had to leave to come here, so I need to do two and a half more when I get home.  I'm so lucky that I can be flexible like this.

Wendy is doing clinicals at nursing school, now, and Kent's school of nursing has their own uniforms that the students must wear.  The problem is that Wendy's so tiny, it was hard for her to get uniform items that fit.  But supposedly, she now has pants that do fit.  So, Deano, I need a picture!  You give me a nice picture of Nurse Wendy in her fitting uniform, and I'll post it here on the blog.  Deal?

Still haven't seen a nurse yet.  But I'm sure one is on the way.  The meds have to come from the pharmacy, and the Herceptin has to be mixed, so that takes some time.  I'll post more later, but that's it for this post.

Love to all!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Last Pred for this Round

Today I took the last of the Methylprednisolone for this go-round.  And that's probably a very good thing, considering my appetite of late.  Ai carumba, it's a good thing my chihuahuas are fast.... ;)


I still have a week or so to go on the antibiotic.  Yes, the cough is still there, but I'm only really goopy in the morning, with some sporadic crud through the day.  I'm staying home until the antibiotics are done.  I don't want a repeat of last Monday.  And of course, this Thursday is my Herceptin treatment, and gods know I don't want to have to delay that.


When I got up this morning, the wind was blowing quite fiercely, and when the sun came up, it wasn't really visible for the clouds.  After a few days of temps in the 90's, today was gloomy, a bit rainy, cold and windy.  Ah the joy of March in the desert.


I have to say, though, my verbena is really scenting the back garden.  It's gorgeous!  But all the wet this winter has brought some gigantic weeds.  Jane's going to work on them tomorrow, as long as it's not raining.  I'm sure Cathy will help.  It's nice to have that big green recycle barrel so that the city gets our green waste to make into compost.  If I was healthy, I think we'd try to tackle our own compost, to add to our vegetable garden.  But right now, we have to get our mesquite trimmed, because it's trying to overtake the veggie garden.


As for the end of the steroids, I should be able to get that PET scan scheduled soon.  My glucose levels are doing pretty well again, for which I am very thankful.


So, have a good night, everyone.  Have peaceful dreams and keep warm or cool, as the case may be. :D

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Breathing is SO GOOD!

Despite still having a cough, my breathing has improved tremendously!  Oh yes, I know it's due to the steroids, and I do appreciate them.  


Frankly, a lot of my feeling good is that I have stopped being obsessed about getting that PET scan done NOW!  When I was a child, probably it was the fourth or fifth grade, Mom had a meeting with my teacher, I think it was Sister Sharon.  (12 years of Catholic School, lots of nuns!)


Sister Sharon told my mom that if she had one complaint about my behavior it was that I was 'overly conscientious.'  What does that even mean?  I thought it meant that I had an overactive sense of feeling guilty for everything!  If the class got punished for something, I was sure I must have had something to do with it.  I felt guilty for everything wrong everywhere.


But I got over that, as you do, in the process of growing up.  Yet, there still lingers this maybe overblown sense of responsibility.  The onc says I need to get a PET scan ASAP, and I try to do it, but my body chemistry is all askew, and I cannot.  Now, I have to do EVERYTHING in my power to fix what, in reality, I can't fix by myself, to GET THAT SCAN!


So, I need to relax; get back to that "I'm living in the moment" happy place I normally reside.  And if there is one doctor that understands this about me, it's Dr. Ramaswamy, my PCP.  He's got me down to one glucose prick in the morning, and we adjust my meds from there.  And guess what?  I was STELLAR this morning.  I had stopped obsessing about those four pricks a day as demanded by the PET scan person.  I had stopped worrying about every morsel that passed between my lips, trying to judge protein intake vs fiber vs carbs... I was literally going nuts trying to make sense of my body.  


And of course, right now, there is no sense in what my body is doing.  I'm on STEROIDS!  I have a lethal form of CANCER!  I knew that, but I still wanted to do everything right; be that perfect Catholic School girl, straight A's and guilty as hell.


Now, I hope I'm back on track, just me again, no weird childhood baggage.  That baggage just waits until you're in a weakened state, emotionally, and then it grabs on and clings to you like a fabric softener sheet.  (I hate those things, btw.)


And on that note, I think I'm going to go play World of Warcraft and just have a fun day.
This is Arugula, a worgen warlock... essentially, a werewolf on a horse with flaming hooves.  Cool. :)


Live long and prosper, all.  Until next time.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Not Pneumonia!

Apparently, it's a pretty decent asthma episode, with the cancer contributing to my not being able to spring back at all well.


Dr. R called a few minutes ago to tell me that my labs were good, and my Xray showed nice, clear lungs. :)


So, I need to get my meds done and I should be fine for my herceptin infusion next week. 


YAY, ..... and yet I laugh, because I am so happy to be able to have my herceptin treatment, even though it still gives me that dratted ague and some aches and pains.  But, you know, you can't feel pain if you're not still ALIVE!!!! :D

YAY, I love Methylprednisolone....

Nah, not really.  Well kinda.  it's mostly a love/hate relationship.  It abuses me, then makes things better by helping me breathe.  Sounds like a toxic relationship but some things can't be helped. ;)  I'm sure the antibiotic is helping a bit, too.

So, I telecommuted and got lots of numbers arranged into actual facts and some pretty pictures, and life is good again.  Now, I'm pretty sure I will be able to do my Herceptin treatment next Thursday as scheduled.  As for the PET, it's just going to have to wait until my steroids get this thing to run its course.  Because as predicted, my glucose was HORRIBLE this AM, but I had a rather large dose of the steroids yesterday.  We're doing a dose pack, so we're tapering down over six days.  But believe me, I feel SO much better today, it's worth it.

As for the results of the two tests yesterday, they came in today, but doc won't be in until 3pm, and then he'll get to 'em.  I'm pretty sure, feeling as I do, that they won't find pneumonia.  If they do say anything I'll be sure to post later today.

So, love to all, keep smiling and hug someone or something fuzzy... no wait, that didn't come out right.... ;)


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Saw the PC Today

I got some blood work done, and a chest Xray.  He said he'd call today with results as he'd STAT'd both of them.  He's trying to rule out pneumonia... and I sincerely hope he does.


But I got more steroids and another antibiotic, and a med to help me control the glucose while on the steroids.  I went to bed when I got home from all that wandering about, bleeding and radiating.  Temperature at the moment is 99.7.  My temperature, that is... today's outside temperature was 91!  Ai carumba!


My PC was on the phone with my oncologist when I left.  I told him about the pain in my shoulder, and he said that's probably something Dr. F needs to look into.  Not comforting, I can tell you that. :D


Anywho, that was my day; I'm tired, and in pain, ... but otherwise... such is life.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Albuterol, dear Albuterol

I am SO tired of coughing... quite literally.  I finished working (at home) and went right to bed for a nap.  I fell asleep yesterday before 9PM, and slept through to a little after 6AM.


Yes, I did go into the plant yesterday, but that was a huge mistake.  I didn't realize how hard that trek from my car to my desk was going to be.  My utmost gratitude to our company's paramedics for getting me stabilized enough to go home; driven by Hope.  My friend Michelle followed her to take her back to work.  


I have to stop pushing myself to try to be normal.  But I want that so badly.  Yet, yesterday gave me a pretty severe wake up call; I am sick.  I am not 'normal.'  I told my friend Paul that I was scared that what I am today is my new 'normal.'  


Well, I will go see my PC doc tomorrow and hopefully, he can figure out a way to make me a bit more comfortable.  I am cold; I've had a low-grade fever, but not high enough to call the oncologist's office.  The goop I'm coughing up is clear and slowly lessening in volume.  And I have a weird pain in my left shoulder.


As for the Albuterol, I'm sucking on my nebulizer even as I type.  Thank the deities for this med and this medical equipment; it keeps me out of the big house, and after a treatment I can get more goop out.  I posted on Facebook the other day that I needed a phlegm exorcism.  Maybe my PC can get me fixed up with a really good expectorant.  I like to try to go naturally; hot beverages, soup, garlic, chilies, onions, but that's not doing enough.


Happily, though, it's warmed up beautifully!  It was 83 while I was watching the evening news.  Tomorrow will hit 90 they say.  While some folks may cower in terror at those numbers, we Arizonans find it very, very comfortable.  


That's not to say I enjoy anything beyond 110, though.  And that, sadly, does happen quite a bit in summer here.... but remember, it's a dry heat, until the monsoon hits, then you feel like you've entered a sauna that doesn't quit.  But I'll take it over the hellaciously cold winter we've had.  


This picture is one I took years ago right after a monsoon blew through.  


Sadly, our saguaro fell one year.  Luckily, it only took out my eaves, not the room in which my mother was sleeping that morning.


It had rained hard and the cactus had absorbed so much water, it could  no longer hold its own weight.  The neighbors who heard it thought our house had exploded.  The removal squad estimated it weighed more than 2000 lbs.


They cut it into slices with a chainsaw, but still could not lift the slices.  After quartering each slice, they finally got it removed.  Oh they also said it was over 27 feet high.  I loved that saguaro, but its time had come.


The main thing is that no one was hurt; Mom didn't even wake up, but then she was quite hard of hearing by that time.
And thank heavens for homeowner's insurance. :)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Feeling Better

My niece, Cee, came in last night.  Jane and Nancy and she are going to the Rennaisance festival out by Gold Canyon.  They are in full costume, too. :)  It's way too dusty out there for me, and I'd have to take my scooter, which would be rather anachronistic.  Although, perhaps if I put a saddle on it, and I could make it whinny now and then....

So, I had a long talk with my pancreas, and we agreed that he'd have to work harder, and things are MUCH improved on the glucose front.  Well, that and no Prednisone for four days is probably helping as well.  Prednisone... I love it for keeping me breathing, but I hate it for all the horrible things it does to the rest of my body.  It's almost like the relationship I have with chemo.  Chemotherapy is more overt in the things it does to you, though.  Prednisone is sneaky!

We had quinoa with a cilantro, garlic, jalapeno and pepitas pesto last night, and a pork loin goulash over shredded cabbage.  Good stuff, good stuff!  Quinoa is so yummy; great texture and LOADED with protein!

I'm going to head into the plant tomorrow; prove that I really do exist.  I'll take it easy.  No unnecessary wandering, although I do have to go get coffee with my 'brother' John Alfonso, tomorrow.  He called yesterday to check up on me. :)

So, that's the scoop.  Glucose is much improved, my attitude is much improved, and it's nice and warm today.  Who could ask for more?

Friday, March 11, 2011

It's Getting so HARD!

Well, I had reasonably decent glucose numbers today, but you should have seen what I ate!  I had two fried eggs for breakfast.  Glucose went down.  Lunch was 8 heirloom cherry tomatoes, one slice of pepper jack cheese and an orange.  Glucose almost hit 200 again!  For dinner I made a skillet supper of chilies, onions, ground turkey, Rotelle tomatoes and chilies, brown rice, rye, and barley.  Glucose is best it's been all day.

So what have I learned?  Not really sure, except I think oranges must be bad, but those whole grains are really good.  And I really have to work on my protein consumption.  Breakfast was fine, lunch was rather iffy.

Then I've had a really nasty stress headache all day for which I used to get my bi-weekly massages... but, alas, I had just better get it through my thick noggin that I'll never have another one of THEM!

I woke up so depressed this morning; definitely not like me, and it occurred to me that my previous, daily exercise routine was something that always helped my mental state.  Of course, not to mention it helped my glucose as well.  Thus I hit the NuStep.  As you might imagine, I haven't been very active for a while, but I thought, if I at least try to get ten minutes a day or so... maybe twice a day, surely that will help.

I managed nine minutes, and coughed like a loon through eight of them.  But I did feel at least a small sense of accomplishment.  Frankly some days, it's been a chore to get from my bedroom to my home office.  So I'll take those nine minutes and maybe tomorrow I'll GET to ten minutes.

The main thing is that I have to remember that my glucose is still wonky because of the Prednisone.  It will take a few days to get it under control, and I doubt that 'worrisome' mass on my adrenal gland is going to do anything sinister in that time-frame.  I'll bet it's a wart or something.  Or adrenal prednisone acne!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep, hopefully uninterrupted by my friendly owl family who are SO DAMNED LOUD, but exciting to have around as long as they don't eat my chihuahuas.

So, sleep well, all.... eat right, get rest, and drink Geritol... do they even MAKE Geritol anymore? :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Done in by Prednisone

Well, I am home early, and very discouraged.  As I mentioned earlier, prednisone screws with your glucose, and thus, no PET for me today.  My glucose was at 228.

I was psyched up to do it, dammit.  Oh well.

So, I am stopping the pred as of now; the lungs seem to be doing OK anyway.  They said track my glucose for three days, four times a day and when it's under control again, call 'em up.

Must avoid those carbs, too.  No toast.  I'm going to lose weight again.  But we can't do the scan over 200... it's just that I am not supposed to lose weight.  Oy vey.

Ok, so we'll work on this.  And we'll get the scan.  Minor set-back. 

PET Scan Number Two

I know I haven't posted since Monday, and that's gotten my phone ringing a bit, which is a testament to the fact that those who read this blog notice these things.  And I love you for that. :)


Monday, after I quit virtually working for the day, I had some leftover "Dinner in a Loaf" and went to bed at 6:30PM.  I woke up at 11ish, had some water, and then went back to bed and got up at 6AM.  That's a heck of a lot of sleep for me.


However, the fever has left the building, and though I continue to cough up crap out of my lungs, the volume of said crap is subsiding.


I've got an appointment for PET Scan number two at 2PM today.  I also got a voice mail from Ironwood's finance department.  Perhaps they were trying to warn me ahead of time that this procedure would be the max out I've been waiting for on my 'out of pocket.'  And that would be good, because my pockets are getting threadbare.  Thank the gods for that bonus which is now about petered out.  Everything works out, somehow or another. :)


So, I'll be hitting the Xanax just around when I get to Ironwood, because if this is anything like the last PET, I'd rather have it on board when I get there than to take it 1/2 hour before entering the tube o' terror.


I will check my glucose level before I leave the house, too. They can't do the test if my glucose is over 200, and it sure as hell had better not be.  I had scrambled eggs and one piece of toast for breakfast, and that's it so far today.  Plus, I took my Januvia, so I should pass that test.


I was reading an article today about how patients present themselves to doctors and how, many times, turn a deaf ear to their doctors' instructions.  Is it simple laziness in participating in their own care?  Is it that some aspect of their home life makes it almost impossible to follow orders?  Can they not afford the medications?  Do they just not give a flying rat's ass?


In my case, I try very hard to do what I'm told, although for years Dr. Ramaswamy would gently yell at me because I kept refusing to get another colonoscopy.  I told him I woke up during the first one and all the Versed in the world would not change the fact that I remembered the pain.


That's one of the reasons he was so happy when he finally convinced me to see Dr. Collins, the gastro.  And this time, thanks to that propofol, it was a breeze.  So yeah, in my case my lack of compliance was fear of pain.  Oh, that damned fear; it really wreaks havoc on an otherwise intelligent brain.


An actual good reason for my not posting is that I was busy playing Dragon Age II.  :)  It's a nice break from World of Warcraft.


So, I'm going to play a bit before I have to mosey out to Ironwood and begin my torturous tubular adventure.


Hugs and kisses!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Back to Pred and Levaquin

Well, the pulmo warned me that this might be hard to shake.  I'm coughing like I should be in the tuberculosis ward.  My phone conversations with work are... ugh.  Thankfully, everyone's been very understanding.  And Microsoft Communicator works very well in these situations. :)

We just had some leftovers of the 'Dinner in a Loaf' which amazingly bore NO resemblance to the original recipe.  We used ground lamb and pork, ricotta, spinach, finely diced red peppers, an italian cheese combo from Sprouts, cream of mushroom soup and the bread crumbs scooped out of the loaf.  Oh gosh it was quite satisfying.  I love spinach in anything.  Popeye and I ... spinach-a-holics.

Last night I had a fever of 100.3, which is why we're going back on the antibiotics.  And I need the pred to make sure I can breathe.  Thank the gods for my beloved oxygen concentrator.  At least when I sleep I'm sure not to desaturate.

Still no one has called about setting up that PET scan, and frankly, I feel so crappy, I don't care.  If I feel better next week, I'll call my oncologist's office and let them figure it out.  I just want to crawl in my bed and keep warm... and it's not exactly cold, now, actually.  I told my pulmo that I thought the chemo had whacked out my internal body temperature, and he said it could happen.  But this dratted ague is a pain... literally!

And yet, I got the coolest ring in the mail today, so that perked me right up.  It's silver with a huge clear quartz and some rodalite garnets on the shank.  The quartz is faceted so beautifully that it sparkles like mad.  Yeah, see, I love sparklies as much as spinach.  Happily you can get some sparklies at a reasonable price. :)

Ok, I'm off to bed.  I hurt in many places and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Live long and prosper!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Saturday, Bright Day

My friend, the sun, is out this morning, already blazing away.  I think yesterday was around 80 degrees and that's the forecast for today, as well.  It's just after 7:30AM and it's gorgeous outside.  How can you not be excited to step out into your garden and be able to grab an orange to have with your breakfast?  Heaven!

Yesterday, I decided that I would just randomly grab two cookbooks from my collection, and choose a recipe or two from each and that's what we'd cook this weekend.  And thus, I chose a roast chicken recipe from Nigella Lawson, and something called "Dinner in a Loaf" from a quite whacked out, spiral bound 'community' cookbook someone found in a thrift shop.  Today we'll do the chicken, and pair it with her gratin of potatoes and mushrooms.  I need to head over to Sprouts and see what's available in the fresh veggies arena.  I would LOVE to add some celery root to that gratin; just sounds really good to me.  Or we could top it with some blanched asparagus.  See, I definitely have my appetite back. :)

As for that "Dinner in a Loaf," we'll be adding a bit more nutrition to the original recipe that is essentially ground beef and Velveeta. :D  I'll have to think on that one, but we're good at that sort of thing.  I'm thinking roasted chilies, and maybe some shredded spinach, and ... goat cheese!  Dang, I'm hungry.

Didn't get a call from the PET Scan place, so if they don't call on Monday, I'll call the doctor and he can raise some hell.  He's not a big guy, but when he gets going, he can be pretty scary. :D  I love him to bits.

Ok, I'm going to grab some of my muesli, add some dried cranberries and walnuts and have a good breakfast.  Love to EVERYONE!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Mass on Adrenal Gland

The CT revealed a 'worrisome' mass on my adrenal gland.  So, we'll have to go have another PET scan to see if it lights up.  Dr. F doesn't believe it's cancer, but we have to find out for sure.  And if it is, then it's back to the really toxic chemo.  He says I'm doing so well, he can't believe I would have a new form of cancer, and the one I do have doesn't hit the adrenals.  I hope he's right. :)

Ironwood was so crowded when we got here!  I had to pay again, and frankly, if this keeps up, I may not be able to continue my savings contributions.  We're not talking a $30 copay.  We're talking HUNDREDS of dollars each time I come in for my treatment.

I have to admit, it was not what I was expecting to hear today, but I can deal with it.  I've got my fabulous support system that loves me and will help me through. 

And as usual, the Benadryl infusion is hitting me, now, and I am woozy as heck.  So, I'll close this now and wish you a fantastic day.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Tomorrow We'll Know More...

Because tomorrow I see Dr. Fastenberg and he'll have the results of Monday's CT.  I know he's not going to like the sound of my lungs, but in reality, I did manage to get through this bout of bronchitis pretty darned well for a chick with stage IV Esophageal Cancer. ;)


The main thing is to find out if the Herceptin is doing its job.  I feel good.  I'm guessing it's doing a great job.  In fact, I insist that he tells me it's doing a great job. :D  I think for the Herceptin treatments to be successful, the odds are in my favor.  Really, I want to get back to some semblance of a normal life.  I managed to get in two weeks of work before I got the bronchitis, and I'd have to surmise that I was pretty much run down and an easy target.  Yes, I tried to go into the plant on Tuesday, but I was still way run down and coughing far too much.  Part of the joy of bronchitis is having to cough crap out of your lungs.  I couldn't do that very well at work.  The last thing I want to do is gross out my co-workers, so I tried to expectorate in the ladies' room, but that's quite a hike when you can't breathe, and you have it do it every five minutes or so.... and so, again, the spirit was willing but my flesh was WAY weak. :)


Thank the gods for the ability to telecommute.  But I want to GO to work, and be with my team mates; these are connections that stimulate the brain.  There's nothing better than hashing out some challenge by discussing it with our group.  We're a lovely, diverse bunch, with varied backgrounds and lots of different perceptions, and it works like a dream when we get going.


Yet, I have to get over this bronchitis set back, and not try to get back too soon either and relapse.  But I'll talk to Dr. Fastenberg tomorrow; I'm sure he'll listen to my lungs, as he always does.  I hope he doesn't freak out.  I've got some really deep rattles and wheezes.  


Now I am going to go watch a bit of TV before I head to bed.  I've been so tired because the coughing wears me out, and I've been retiring really early.  But I've got to watch Top Chef first, then bed. ;)


Love to all, keep warm and stay safe and loved.



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