Friday, December 31, 2010

Stuffed Mushrooms

Tonight, especially so we can turn on the oven, we're having stuffed mushrooms, and steamed asparagus.  I know the sisters are using the George Foreman Grill to make some kind of meat product.  I may or may not have a bit of that; we'll see how I feel. :)

You know, this is probably our fifth or so George Foreman Grill.  Whoever convinced that man to market these products was a genius.  They really are amazingly useful items.  Sure, you can get the same thing from Cuisinart, and pay a heck of a lot more, if you want.  Ol' George has been good to us.  Besides, George Foreman is one cute ex-boxer. :)

My dad and I used to watch "Thursday Night, Boxing from the Olympic" Auditorium, that is, in Los Angeles.  Daddy had been a boxer back in his teens.  But he gave it up; he didn't like beating people up for no good reason.  Give him a REASON... well.... :) 

I think the stuffed mushrooms are almost ready, so I'm off to sup.  Love and hugs to all.  Be safe this New Year's Eve!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Good Results from Echocardiogram

The cardiac nurse called today to tell me my Echo was normal.  This is a good thing. :)  SO, Dr. F the Medical Oncologist says that we'll probably do them every three months or so, to make sure the Herceptin is not damaging my heart function.  Happily, they don't hurt or anything.

On the way home from chemo, we had weird stuff hitting our windshield.  It was snow.  SNOW!  See, I knew it was going to snow.  It lasted a good THIRTY seconds.... hehehe.  But it's gotten very dark again, and I imagine it's going to do it again sometime during the night.  It's sneaky that way.

Ok, this was just a quickie blog post to share the echocardiogram results.  All is well on the heart front. :D

If it's Thursday, it must be Chemo!

Actually, this will soon no longer be true.  I'm getting triple doses of Herceptin, starting today, so that means I only have to get my infusion every three weeks. :)  Looks like I *will* be heading back to work at the end of January!

Gosh, how exciting to be getting back to a semi-normal life.  I'll have to decide on things to wear, and what earrings to put in, and all that mundane crap that I can't wait to experience again. ;)

Of course, we'll have to see what Dr. Tsai, the radiation oncologist decides to do when I see her again on the13th of January.  It's possible we'll start a new round of radiation.

So, I don't see Dr. Fastenberg again until March.  And before I see him, I have to have another CT with contrast.  Everything is looking good, I have to say.  I'm still anemic, according to my labs, but I don't need a transfusion yet.  Keep up with the iron supplements is the plan.  One of my liver function measurements was a little wonky, but we're going to watch it; it may just be a fluctuation.  The glucose was up, but I wasn't doing a fasting test, and I had just eaten breakfast.

Oh yes, I have to take my traditional chemo picture!

Look, I also managed to get my sister, Jane, in the picture.  She's my chemo buddy most days. I can drive to get the treatment, but I can't really drive back, so Jane's my post-chemo chauffeur.

I should not have taken the picture with the light fixture behind my thin, spiky hair.  I really look like a pound puppy with mange. :D

Well, that's it for this post.  Things are going VERY well on the cancer front.  Let's hope my body can hold out.

Love and hugs to all!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Adventures in Phlebotomy!

I think by now, it's well-known how much I love to say the word Phlebotomy.  Today I headed to Sonora Quest to get my pre-chemo blood work done.  I felt so good today, I went by myself. :)  My sisters have gotten in the habit of either driving me everywhere or at least accompanying me, just to be on the safe side.  It was nice to be self-sufficient, for a change.

Today's phlebotomist was one of the regulars, but bless her heart, she spent most of the time with me apologizing for hurting me.  I tried to tell her that on the pain scale, blood draws barely register, but truth be told, she really was hurting me.  But the main thing is, she got the blood, and out of my arm, not my hand.  Woohoo!

As I got into the car for the trip home, I removed my handicapped placard, and lo and behold it began to disintegrate in my hands.  Now, here we are in Arizona, land of the sun; the relentless, bright, overbearing sun.  It's not a secret that we enjoy sunshine for 360 days a year, on the average.  Bright, overbearing, handicapped placard disintegrating sunshine... it happens!  So, wouldn't it follow that the Department of Transportation would fabricate a placard that wouldn't fall victim to sun rot?

I think I'm probably a normal commuter type.  When I'm not out on sick leave, I work five days a week, and park outside... in the bright, overbearing sun...for more than eight hours a day.  Oh wait, actually, I telecommute sometimes three days a week.  And then the car's in the garage.  But, my point is... I can't be the only person with a handicapped placard that disintegrates.  My last one did, too.  Oh well.

So, I called the MVD and the very happy lady that answered the customer service line said I'd have to bring the placard in to have it replaced.  Hmm, my placard will be replaced anyway in June of 2011, so if I don't run out of this see-though packing tape, I think we'll just make do. :)

Yesterday's dinner was OH soo good.  Jane had gotten us a nice bit of salmon and some beautiful asparagus.  We made some of our favorite rice, steamed the asparagus and pan-seared the salmon.  WHAT a great dinner! 

Oh, and I made that Paula Deen chocolate cake.  It was divine, but I doubt we'll do it again; it's just not at all good for you, although, it does have walnuts and nuts are a good source of those GOOD fats. ;)

And now, I'm off to play a bit of World of Warcraft and beforehand, I shall make a pot of tea.  Keep warm and safe, all... and give someone a hug today.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Starting to Research more...

Now that I have somewhat gotten over the initial fear of information on Esophageal Cancer, I have started to do some research.  My friends over at the National Cancer Institute have an entire booklet on the subject, as one might expect. 

As I am well into treatment, now, reading things like this doesn't give me as much trepidation as when it was new and I hadn't begun to fight.  I know now that I can handle MUCH more than I originally thought.

Well, today has dawned brightly!  Tomorrow is supposed to bring the really cold stuff, but so far today, the sun is amazing!  I'm going to be a very bad girl and make a chocolate cake later today.  It's really bad because it's a Paula (Butter is a Vegetable Isn't It?) Deen recipe.  Yeah, there's not a single redeeming ingredient in the entire thing. ;)

I can't tell you how much I miss work.  I really do hope I can get back to work on the 30th of January.  I won't know what to do.. someone will have to retrain me. ;)  Luckily, numbers are numbers; I think I'll be fine.  I'm going to guess I won't remember a single password.   Ugh. :D

Happily, the neighbors' pecan tree has finally lost all its leaves.  This is good in two ways; we can finally clean up all the leaves in the backyard and not have it look horrible two hours later, and also, we can now see who's IN said tree.  We've seen some wonderful birds up there:  Prairie Falcons, a Red Tailed Hawk, a Harris Hawk, cardinals (the good ones, not the football players), a Ring Neck Parakeet, peach faced lovebirds (there's a HUGE feral flock of them out here), and various species of doves.  We do love birds in this house. :)

And with that, I'll end this post.  Try to keep warm and healthy and safe. 

Monday, December 27, 2010

In Sympathy for my Frozen Eastern Friends...

... It's supposed to be rather cold here, too.  Thursday and Friday, our highs are predicted to be 49... FORTY NINE!!!!  I had to check to make sure I hadn't mistakenly called up the forecast for Bismark, North Dakota!

Oh holy cow.  Good thing Julie made me all those knitted goodies.  I'm wearing my Pittsburgh Steelers' Daniel Sepulveda jersey, but I'll tell you now, it won't cut it with THOSE temperatures. 

Well, the lows are going to be 30 degrees those two days.  I may actually have to break down and turn on the heat pump.  Or, I could grab the chihuahuas and use them as heating devices and just stay in bed.  No, that won't work.  Gotta go do a blood draw on Wednesday, and chemo on Thursday.  Argh... I'll have to go OUT INTO IT!  What if it snows?  I can't drive in snow.  I can't even be outside in snow.  ... calm down, woman... it won't snow.  IT WON'T SNOW!

Whoa, I almost got hysterical there. :D  But seriously, that's pretty freaking cold, and the forecast does say rain both those days.  Time to get out the REAL coat, I guess... you know, wool, as opposed to fleece. ;)  I wear it a couple of times a year.

And in the spirit of the season, here is my Undead Rogue, Ynez, on her festive Holiday Mount, flying over the vast continent of Northrend.

Have a lovely Monday, everyone.  Be safe, warm and loved.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I enjoy breathing...

...but this is the second time in a month I've woken from an asthma attack.  Hey, at least I wake up. :D

I'm wondering, now, if Herceptin can exacerbate asthma.  I have never in my life been woken up from asthma until this month.  Let's (finally) go look at the Herceptin side effects.  Hmmmm.... this site says that Herceptin can cause Congestive Heart Failure.  And I know from a brother that had it, that CHF does cause you to cough a lot at night especially.  So this is probably something to tell my oncologist.  But I'm not having any other symptoms of CHF; no edema and no more coughing than I always have.

Besides, I'd surmise that if they had seen signs of CHF on that echocardiogram I would have heard about that by now.  So, I'm guessing it's the weird weather, coupled with PM 25's from our crappy air.  But, I'm not going to be a bozo and not tell the oncologist about this, just in case. :)

Now, I have a couple of CD's of family pictures I want to watch, so I'm off... and wish everyone peace and happiness.  If you are lucky enough to have time off between Christmas and New Years, spend it wisely; rest, relax and enjoy your family and friends!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas...

...to those of you who celebrate the holiday tomorrow.  May your day be filled with happiness, family and fun.  Be safe, and be mindful of all the love in your life.

Nancy's going to make vegetarian lasagna for us, tomorrow.  I'm not sure what else is planned.  I've been eating fine, for a few days, now.  The burning is definitely dissipating, although it woke me up last night.  My herceptin treatment of yesterday went without a hitch.  I actually went to a European Herceptin site on the www today, and saw that it's been pretty effective in stomach cancers.  Let's hope it's EVEN MORE effective in Esophageal cancer. ;)

There are days I wake up and think I can't possibly have this cancer.  I feel fine... mostly. :)  Some days it does all seem rather unreal.  How can I even have this?  How could it have been growing there and gotten to Stage IV without SOME indication?  At least with the breast cancer, I could feel a lump.  I wasn't even having a hard time swallowing, even though the tumor was taking up 60% of my esophagus.  Oh well, I think cancer is mostly the luck (or lack thereof) of the draw.   Life is weird.

And so tomorrow is Christmas, and for some reason I keep thinking about Uncle Ed and the time he bought us a real tree, then decided it was too small, so he bought us TWO of the same size.  Yes, we had twin Christmas trees that year.  And daddy had the train set going around them.  We were very traditional when it came to holidays.  I think because my dad didn't have a very happy childhood, he insisted that we have traditions.  It was good for us.

Still, of course, my favorite Christmas tree was the aluminum one with the cool light wheel.  It went so well with our Turquoise vinyl sofa.  Damn, I loved the sixties. ;)  I tried to get an aluminium tree once, but they wanted a bloody fortune for it.  Instead, this year we have the skinny, silver Charlie Brown Christmas tree, only for us, it's the Winter Solstice Yule tree.  It's cute.

Next week, I have to go do the blood draw, pre-chemo, on Wednesday, then see the Medical Oncologist on Thursday and then hit my chemo.  So not a bad week ahead.  Very doable. ;)

Merry Christmas, folks, and make sure you give extra hugs to all your loved ones.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Nocturnal Visitor

Last night before bed, it was time to put my two chihuahuas out to take care of business.  I have to go out with them as well, or they will just stand at the door waiting to be let back in.

"Whoooo!  Who, who, whooooo!" 

In the drizzly night, the sound seemed to come from right in front of me, but I thought he might be in a palm tree about a block away.  I called Jane because truth be told, that whooooo sound was unnerving, and if as I suspected, he was a Great Horned Owl, he would be big enough to take one of my chihuahuas.  She brought the binoculars. :)

He did a bit more hooting, then he took flight, from the palm tree, silently swooping down to a smaller tree.  And there he sat in silhouette, his ear tufts prominent enough for identification.  He was a big boy, or she was a big girl. :)

The dogs finally did what doggies must do outside, and we all trooped back inside.  But the memory of that beautiful owl stayed with me until I fell asleep.



OH, and yes, this post is coming from Ironwood Cancer & Research Center, where I am getting my Benadryl.  Please note, I am wearing Jingle Bells in my ears.

And I am wooooooooooozy, so that's it for this post.  No word yet on the results of the echo of yesterday.

Love to all, and please, PEACE on Earth. :)

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Echocardiogram Today

It was supposed to be yesterday, but they had to move it.  "Can we do it on Thursday?"  "No, that's chemo day."  Which is why we didn't do it LAST Thursday.  Oh well, at least it should be quick and painless. 

XM radio is playing "The Black Hole" on Cinemagic.  It's a great score by John Barry.  Very evocative.  When I first saw it, that danged robot killing the Psycho dude freaked me out.  Maximilian Schell was pretty frightening, too.  And Quentin McHale being a bad guy?  It just didn't compute.  Yes, I did watch too much TV as a child.  But looking back, it wasn't nearly as much as I thought.  Only one person in our house had control of our one TV, and that was our dad.  As long as you wanted to watch things like "The Beverly Hillbillies,"  "McHale's Navy," or gods forbid, "Three's Company," you were happy.  I enjoyed books. :)

As children, we all read like crazy.  Our house had books everywhere, and there were no rules with regard to their content.  If the book was in the house, and you could read it, you could read it. :)  I used to read this really old set of encyclopedias from cover to cover.  As it turned out, this provided me with incredible "Trivial Pursuit" skills.

Whenever we took family car trips that required an overnight stay, our big treat was that we got to pick out a book that Auntie would buy for us.  Oh my gosh, to get a book that was pristine, that was one YOU wanted;... heaven, just heaven.  We all had our own tastes, to be sure.  My brother Jes would always opt for a "Mad Magazine." :D

Hmm, I guess that's enough for this trip down memory lane.  For some reason, World of Warcraft is doing a Wednesday maintenance, so I think I'll go try to get some time on my NuStep.  I have lost my discipline where that device is concerned.  Dang it.

Take care, all. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Winter Solstice!

It's that most wonderful time of the year. ;)  OK, not so much.  However, sisters and I watched a bit of the eclipse late last night.  How lovely that it chose the longest night of the year to occur.  Too bad we had mostly clouds, but every once in a while, there was a break, and you could see the moon clearly.

I woke with a cough this morning, but I think it's my normal asthma goopiness.  Yes, that is an official asthma term... for me, anyway: Goopy.

Sisters and I opened our Winter Solstice gifts this morning.  And now, I am wearing an official NFL licensed Pittsburgh Steelers on-field jersey, with number 9, and SEPULVEDA on the back.  No, Daniel Sepulveda is no relation, but I do HAVE a nephew of the same name.  Too bad number 9 is out for the season; he's done a great job this year. :(

Anyone that really knows me will know that I am not a fan of American Football, so for me to actually have followed some of it is ... odd. But how could I not?  I mean how many times does the name Sepulveda show up on a football field?

Actually, I follow football, as in "The Beautiful Game."  My favorite team is Liverpool FC.  My favorite player?  Steven Gerrard, who has also been out with an injury.  It was hoped he'd hit the pitch for the Fulham game, but due to the incredible snow in Europe, it's been postponed.  Alas.

And that, ladies and gents is the sum of my sports knowledge. ;)

I'm a bit tired today; I think too much coughing, but it IS that time of the year.  Weather gets cold, I cough.  I remember when the nuns told my mom to go get me tested for Tuberculosis.  :P  I coughed.  And, I had asthma, although it wasn't diagnosed until I was in my late 20's.  Plenty of time for it to screw up my lungs permanently.  Oh well. :D

Again, Happy Winter Solstice... love to all, and be happy, warm and have peace in your lives.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Cinnamon vs Comino (Cumin)

As a Latina (well, half that is), culturally, two of my favorite spices are Cinnamon and Cumin.  But somehow, I have this horrible habit of picking up the Cumin when I mean to use the Cinnamon.  I did it again this morning.

The very first time I did this, and let me just tell you, the ones I use are from the same manufacturer, in the same bottle with the same labels, so I'm not QUITE insane.  Anyway, the first time I did this, we had just gotten an ice cream maker, and to start, I thought I'd do the basic vanilla, just to get used to the machine.  All was well, then I got the bright idea, because I love Cinnamon, to put some of that into the mix.  Of course, I picked up the Cumin.  After two mighty shakes of the container, the aroma hit me, and I realized my error.  Alas, I was not about to toss out all that good mix.  So, I decided to make Cumin ice cream.  It was fabulous!

This morning, as I mentioned in my previous post, I was going to have my Muesli.  And I decided to add some cinnamon... and tossed in the cumin.  Again, it was the aroma that cued me in to my error.  Oh well, the ice cream came out fine, let's roll with it!

Well, gang, this was not quite the culinary masterpiece I created with Cumin Ice Cream.  But I ate it; for I don't like to waste, especially my favorite Muesli.  Now, I wonder, is there any exciting health benefit to Cumin that my subconscious it trying to get me to use MORE cumin than I already do?  I have heard that Turmeric can help with some forms of cancer... maybe my subconscious meant me to use that.   Oh well, who knows.  But I resolve to try hard to READ spice labels before applying them to my dishes-in-progress.

:)

Total Eclipse of the Moon

If it's clear, we could begin seeing the eclipse around 11:15 PM here in the desert, but I don't think I can stay up.  I remember watching one, but I don't remember when that was, or where I was.  I would think I was here in Arizona, and at this house. 

My glucose was decent this AM, and my weight looks stable.  No waking up this morning with an asthma attack. :)

Haven't had breakfast yet, but I think I'll have my Bob's Red Mill Muesli.  I love that stuff; in fact, I think I had better go order some more from Amazon.  OH!  It makes the BEST chocolate chip cookies on earth, too.

So, I bought a download PC game from Amazon yesterday, called Witcher, or something like that, and thank the gods it was really cheap, because it made me sick.  Some games give me vertigo, and this was definitely one of them.  Please, game makers, most of us that play PC games don't want to be bouncing all over the place.  I just want to kill things and take their stuff.   I remember playing the original Soldier of Fortune, which I loved, but there was this section you had to go along these cliffs.... oh lordy, I think I had to get my sister to get me past it.

Even today, I have a hard time in Thunder Bluff.  WHY do cows want to live on lofty mesas with rope and wood suspension bridges connecting everything?  I love the Tauren, hate their city.

On today's agenda, absolutely nothing except rest and recuperation.  Good plan. :)

Hugs to all, keep warm, and watch the Eclipse if you can!!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

And my visitors are off...

I just wished Wendy and Dean a safe trip back to glorious, snowy Ohio.  I hope they enjoyed their visit as much as I loved seeing them. :)

My asthma woke me up around 5:30ish, so I just got up and hit my nebulizer, and then, as is my wont when awake at weird hours, I went shopping.  Amazon is my friend.  I only got a downloadable casual game to help while away the hours of non-sleep.  You see, usually after I use my nebulized albuterol, I am a bit too wired for sound, so no sleep for me.

I am currently sipping on a Gevalia Caramel Macchiato, which was produced by my Tassimo beverage center.  I love that puppy.  Anyway, this Caramel Macchiato is not all sweet and gooey like the ones prepared at coffee houses.  I do not like sweet coffee.  I like my coffee to taste like coffee.

Just to let my sister, Cee, know... the See's candy was a huge hit this weekend with my home denizens and my visitors alike.  Wendy found every piece that could possibly have an almond in it. :)

And speaking of Wendy, Jane wanted her to make some shortbread this weekend, and that she did.  She'd found a recipe that used Earl Grey tea, which laced the shortbread with a hint of bergamot flavor.  Holy moley, it was so good... SO GOOD!

We sent our visitors off with a good breakfast of veggie-laden scrambled eggs and nice, crispy bacon and toast.  Actually Dean was our bacon chef, as he showed us the best way to make microwave bacon.  I liked mine... not all greasy, just crisp.  Yum.

Now it is almost 11 AM, and I am getting tired, so I think I might go take a quick nap.  On the agenda for this week:  Echocardiogram on Tuesday and my chemo on Thursday.  Not such a tough week.  Oh, and I think the burning is starting to dissipate a bit, so perhaps the healing has begun.  I hope so. :D

Love to all!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Veggies!

Dean and Wendy are here!  So for dinner last night we roasted a bunch of yummy vegetables (zucchini, jalapenos, Anaheim chilies, yellow squash, asparagus) in a light butter, olive oil and garlic sauce.  Oh they were so good, and the added bonus was that the oven was going. :D

Yes, we're still not using our heater and today's high is only going to be 62.  That's what layering clothes is for, folks. ;)  Oh, and with the roasted veggies, Wendy sauteed some catfish with rosemary.  It was SO good.  So, though it sounds like we were all very good....my oldest sister Cee had brought us MOUNDS of See's Candy when she was here, and we all had a piece for dessert.  Me loves dark chocolate. :)

When I was getting my Herceptin treatment yesterday, my oncology nurse, Tracy and I were chatting.  I was telling her about how I had such curly hair before the chemo.  But I told her that losing curly hair was fair trade off for getting more time, and she asked me if I would come to her Support Group.  She said it would be nice to have someone there with a really positive attitude.  There was one last night, and I told her I could not do that one because my company was here, but I'd go in January.  Apparently they are only once a month.  I can do that.  You never know what you might learn, too.  Anyway, I am MORE than happy to give back to the people at Ironwood Cancer and Research Center. 

Wendy and Dean are preparing to head out to several places around town.  Nancy's going to take them.  I told her to take my Equinox so they can listen to Sirius XM radio... CINEMAGIC FTW!!!

I'm going to stay home and relax a bit.  And keep warm. :D

Love to all!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Chemo Thursday

Here I am again, in my favorite place in the chemo center, working on this blog post.  My port has been accessed, and the Benedryl is coming onboard.  Oh joy. :)

Jane is sitting here with me, playing 'super scribblenauts' on her Nintendo DS.  Thank the gods for electronic ways of passing time.  Today's oncology nurse is Tracy.  She's a sweetie, as are they all.  I can't eat much before chemo, so I drank a Glucerna for breakfast.  I'll try to eat a decent lunch later.

Wendy and Dean must be up in the air by now.  I'm so happy they are coming!  Oh, I should take a picture!  My hair is so straight right now.  I wonder if this, too, is some sort of side effect.

Will it stay straight?  It's just so weird.  I've had very short hair before, and it was still full of curls, so I'm not sure if my curls will be back or not. :)  Oh well, if my curls do not return, it's a fair trade off:  Curls for some extra time on earth?  Deal!

I think that's it for this post.  The Benadryl is really kicking in...and I apologize in advance for any typos and weirdness :D

Keep warm, safe and happy.  Live long and prosper!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Another Day, More Burning

I'd like to try to describe what the 'throat changes' feel like.  First, they are not really in my throat; they are in my esophagus.  Although sometimes, the act of swallowing can be a major pain, it is fleeting, and I can deal with it.

The weird burning thing doesn't necessarily happen when I eat, although it can if I make a poor choice in what I'm eating.  But many times, it just ... happens.  It feels raw; and not unlike acid reflux, but without the acid.  Maybe this is what heartburn feels like, only exponentially worse.  I certainly do understand why they stop treatments to let you heal up for a while.  I got lulled into a false sense of security because the radiation itself doesn't have any sensation at all.  the machine makes some cool noises, although the actual zzzzzzzzzzzzzap buzzing sound isn't my favorite sound of all time.

I guess, though, some of it really IS in my throat.  The topmost tattoo sits center of my chest, just above my cleavage.  I believe that's where the radiation is targeting the two involved lymph nodes.

But I had a great breakfast today; Bob's Red Mill Muesli.  Jane and I had it warm with milk.  Yum.  Tons of great grains and I can deal with raisins when they are plumped up with milk. :) 

Well, that's it for today.  The sun is out, my bougainvillea is looking FANTASTIC just outside my bedroom door, and all is right with the world...that's in my back yard, anyway.

Love to all!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Visitors I Love

Today, my sister, Cee, her husband Bud and my niece CeeCee came for a visit.  They live in Lake Havasu, so it's kind of a drive for them.  Well, CeeCee did the driving, and I hear Cee slept and I'll assume that Bud had the enviable job of keeping Muffy the Tiny Yorkshire Terrier Terror amused.  She's a doll, actually; never stops moving!

I think we had a lovely visit, and definitely some fine lunch comestibles from Chuy's.  Yep, I had no problem scarfing down my two Grilled Mahi tacos.  Heaven in a tortilla, baby.

My sister Cee and I didn't get to see each other much as children.  I think by the time I was five or six, she had gotten married and moved out.  We probably were not close until we were both adults; it's hard for a kid to relate to her adult siblings.  But thankfully, we have a wonderful, loving relationship.  And I think she's married to the most amazing man on earth.  Bud, if I had found a man like you, I may actually have tied the knot. ;)

And in two days, I get to see my baby sister, Wendy and her other half Dean.  He's a keeper, too, you know.  See, when we Sepulveda girls find the right ones, we don't shilly-shally around.  Sadly, some of us never found the right one.  In high school, our Marriage class was conducted by a Nun.  In this case it was Sr. Mary Carlanne, and though we loved her very much, we all knew for sure that Marriage taught by a nun was just wrong, somehow.  She used to tell us that everyone had their other half, to which smart-ass Tequila told her, "Yes, and mine is a Tibetan monk who will never leave Tibet."  I was such a pain in the butt, even then. :)  Thankfully, most of the nuns appreciated me for my mind, not my sparkling repartee.

And, I'll bet mine really WAS a Tibetan monk!

Radiation

I find it interesting how long after radiation treatments the radiation is still doing its work in your body.  According to the National Cancer Institute at www.cancer.gov, the effects of radiation therapy can last two months after the cessation of treatment. 

I found THIS book there, that along with the previous one I mentioned about chemotherapy to be a HUGE help. :)  Of particular help was the section on 'Throat Changes,' especially the section on what types of things to eat.  it's still very difficult to control my glucose and eat what they suggest and maintain my weight.  In fact, I lost another three pounds in the last three days.

Why do some people always seem angry.  Talk about a wasted emotion.  What does anger do besides screw up your health?  I know a person that gets angry for the most minuscule reasons, reasons that wouldn't even effect a response of any kind from a normal person.  Oh well... that was kind of an odd foray from the topic of radiation.

Suffice to say, I have 'Throat Changes' from radiation, and it hurts, and I am coughing a lot.. yes, folks, more than I normally cough.  Thank the deities for cough drops. ;)

Monday, December 13, 2010

Who Stole my Stamina?

If my druid can get apparel with pluses to Stamina, like THIS, then why can't we humans create a nice T-shirt or something that we just put on to make us stronger for a few hours when we need it?  Or even for 30 minutes... a 'buff' if you will.

Oh well, the reason I ask that rhetorical question above is that I just tried to use my NuStep and only managed 10 minutes.  Then, I began thinking seriously about a nap.  But no, I have resisted the nap which was a good thing because the Postal Person came by to tell me my 89 year old neighbor was trapped in her back yard.  She locked her back door on herself.  I hate that she lives alone.  When she was here for Thanksgiving, I could tell that she was having memory problems.  She told me the same things several times. 

This is the exact reason I would never have let my mother live by herself.  She would have exploded the house, or something.  In fact, if Jane and Nancy hadn't come to live with me at the time they did, I would have had to put my mom in Adult Daycare.  Thank the deities we didn't have to subject her to such a thing.  That's not to say that I have any real knowledge of any functioning adult daycare.  I would hope that they are all well-run, safe places staffed by paragons of virtue with only the best interests of their customers at heart.  It's just that no matter what, your home is YOUR HOME; somewhere you WANT to be, if you are lucky enough.

And this is something I need to talk to my sisters about.  I want to know if it will upset them if I opt to die at home.  I'd like Jane to have this master bedroom so that she can have some room for a change; but will it creep her out to think I died here?  I would think not, but I can't be in someone else's head.  I didn't know how I would react to being with my mom as she died, but it was comforting, to both of us, I think.

Well, I guess we'll be discussing it soon enough, as I know Jane does read this blog. :)  I love you so much, you know, Jane.

But, truly, some discussions are emotionally fraught, and despite my own stoicism about death, I am feeling a bit tight in the throat not at the thought of dying, but at the thought of my sisters without me.  Oh, that does sound a bit self-important, but that's not quite what I mean... oh to be at a loss for words. :P

On a happier note, I have my echocardiogram scheduled for the 21st.  They wanted to do it on Thursday, but I had to decline as it was right during chemo time.  Wouldn't want to miss THAT! :D

And meanwhile, my glucose was whacked out this AM, so I am going to be watching my diet like a hawk.  I'd guess that my current lack of exercise, coupled with trying to maintain a certain weight and thus not really eating right has something to do with that, and so I am trying to get back to normalcy...but I'm not there yet, not by a long road.

Now, I need to go drink some water. 

Love to all!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Record Breaking Heat

Oh yes, the joy of the desert.  Sunday through Tuesday, we may break a record for high temperatures.  Now lest that worry you, it IS December, and the previous records were high 70's.  Chances are good that tomorrow, we'll hit 80.

I know this may perturb at least one visitor scheduled to arrive on Thursday (Wendy), but a cold front will be moving in the latter part of the week, and we have a predicted high on Thursday of 69.  So you should be fine. :)  I know Dean will be fine ... he's not a heat wimp like you. (Wendy)

Hey, now that my chemo is only an hour and a half, I can actually spend time with you on Thursday.  YAY!

Well, it's a beautiful morning, and I'm going outside to examine all the leaves turning color.  Yes, we have a few trees even here that change color, and quite beautifully, but nowhere near the awesome spectacle of the New England area. 

Keep warm!  Apparently we'll do fine in that area this week. :)

Hugs to all!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Sleep is ...my friend!

There was no chemo insomnia last night!  Thanks to the miracle of... well... Miracle Mouthwash (I swore she wrote the prescription as MAGIC mouthwash, but hey..), I slept almost through the night, and when the pain woke me up, I sipped more of the stuff, and slept again. :D

Once again, my marvelous medical insurance said they wouldn't cover this great stuff.  When did they get so snotty about coverage?  Ugh.  But it wasn't much, and a darned small price to pay to be comfortable.  AND SLEEP!

I wonder how one builds up one's white blood cell counts? I'll have to go read up on that.  Hopefully, the answer is to eat more ice cream.... ok, probably not. :D

Today I had toast with peanut butter for breakfast; good source of protein, since I can't eat my eggs the way I prefer, over medium.  No raw yokes until my immune system gets better.  Poo.  I can't even eat a salad, since I'm supposed to have all my food cooked, to eliminate the possibility of bacteria entering my body.  I *love* salads, too.  Oh well, I'll have them again someday.

I don't know what kind of coffee Jane made this morning, but it surely is wonderful.  In fact, I need more.... be right back... umm, I think it has some peppermint in it.  Strange, yet yummy.

Must be fall; my back yard is full of Pecan tree leaves.  At least we don't have to skim them out of the pool anymore... since we had the pool demolished.  Best investment I ever made.  No more pool guy, no more chemicals, no more wet chihuahuas.  We simply didn't use it enough to justify the expense, and it was getting so old, it was going to cost a fortune to do anything it was about to need, like resurface or get a new filter system.  And now, I have lots of trees, and flowers and it looks much cooler out there.

So, time to relax, let my body heal up, and maybe start back on my NuStep... maybe Monday. ;)

Love to all!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Only 1 1/2 hours of chemo today!

Apparently Herceptin doesn't make you nauseated, because all I got today was a bag of Benadryl and the Herceptin... no anti-nausea, and THANK THE GODS, no Decadron, and no Pepcid.  So, it was a very quick chemo session.

Oh, and today was definitely NOT social chemo day.  Everyone was quiet, but actually, it wasn't as crowded as it has been.  I'd say not more than half the chairs were taken.  Most folks were sleeping.  I have NEVER been able to sleep during chemo, myself.  Of course, everyone is getting different stuff, so it's hard to say how anyone will react.

There was a woman there today who was TERRIFIED of every little thing that was happening to her.  Remember how I got that port implanted in my chest so that my chemo goes directly into it, instead of them having to find a vein every week?  Well, she had the same model as mine.  What scared her was when the oncology nurse accessed it, and didn't get any blood back following the initial flush of fluid into it.  Well, I haven't had any blood flowback in weeks, and mine is fine.  The oncology nurses know it's working because you can taste and smell whatever it is they use to do the initial flush.

So, I dragged my drip holding contraption over to where she was and told her that it's NOTHING to worry about; that I havent had blood flowback in weeks, and I'm fine.  I actually saw her get tears in her eyes, she was so relieved.  I just wish there was a way to take all that fear from people; it's not healthy.

Anyway, I know I used to post to the blog a couple of times during my chemo, but this went by so quickly today, I didn't have any time. :)

I don't have to go ANYWHERE tomorrow... no doctors, no labs, no chemo and no radiation... YAY!  Dr. Fastenberg says he wants my body to start recovering from the chemos I've already had.  Let's just see how Saturday and Sunday go, my historically worst days.  I don't think Herceptin is really like the other two meds.  And to tell you the truth, I haven't read anything about it.  I'm just at the point that I'm not going start scaring myself by reading the 72 possible side effects... que sera, sera, baby.

Love to all!

Saw my Medical Oncologist

He's taking me off Taxol and Carboplatin, at least for now, but I must continue on the Herceptin.  I also have to go make an appointment with Dr. Wilcoxson, my cardiologist, to get an echocardiogram on my heart. 

Dr. F says he is trying to weigh the use of the chemo against my quality of life.  He's never said how much time he thinks I might have, and I don't know that I want to know, nor would I give much credence to a number, but if he's talking quality of life already, ... ugh.

But anyway, I feel like I could live several more years, so that's that. :)

I'll see Dr. F again on the 30th of December. 

Ok, the exciting beginning drugs are coming so I'm going to end this post.

Take care, all!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I'm DONE!

Radiation 28 is now under my belt... or in my chest, as it were, and I've got no more radiation treatments for at least a month.  I see Dr. T, the RO on the 11th of January and then we'll decide where to go from there.

Tomorrow is Chemo day, and as per my normal drill, I'm sure I'll post whilst being infused.

Oh, and by the way, I got my Rice Pudding. :)

And right now... I'm snacking on my Jalapeno Smokehouse Almonds.... like a celebratory snacking... happy that radiation is done, and I don't have to go to Ironwood EVERY SINGLE DAY of my week, weekends excluded.

Alrighty, I'll post more tomorrow.  Love to all!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

RIP Elizabeth Edwards

I hope when my time comes, I can accept it with the same grace as you.

Cataclysm!

Jane and Nancy went out last night to get our Collectors' editions of WoW Cataclysm, and I have spent the morning playing my new little Goblin Warlock, Gremolata.  I have to say that this couldn't have come at a better time:  It's taking my mind off the esophagus pain. :)

So, today is Radiation 27 and tomorrow is number 28 and I am done for a month! YAY! Just checked my temp and it's at 96.6.  I run low.  I have to take it every day, as we have to avoid any infection of any type and hit it hard with antibiotics if one happens.  Hard to believe I've been doing radiation for almost six weeks, and it's only been this last week that's been really hard on me.  That's not bad, not bad at all!

And now, back to playing.... :)

Huge hugs to all!

Monday, December 6, 2010

"Loose Food"

Just back from having Radiation number 26... two more to go.  Dr. T wasn't there.  I forgot she told me I'd be seeing another RO.  He said to make sure I ate loose food, now that I'm having problems.  Nothing acidic, nothing spicy, no vinegary stuff. no salty stuff... so, I think he meant just eat ice cream.

OK, probably not.  Well, Glucerna is loose, and I'm having one now. :)  I'm guessing broths are a good choice, not too hot temperature wise.  I remember Dr. F telling me neither hot nor cold would be very comfortable.

I want rice pudding.

So, I don't have to see Dr. Tsai for a month.  That means I should heal up pretty well before the next round of radiation, if that's what we're doing.  Of course, I will still have my weekly chemo.

Oh well, I can do two more... really... I can. :P

Yeah, it's catching up with me...

It's not like they didn't warn me.  My esophagus is fried, and it's killing me.  OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration.  But it does hurt.  I guess it's time to get that Magic Mouthwash prescription filled.  I just sipped some water and that didn't hurt too badly, so maybe after today's and the next two days' radiations we can take a break.

I have to see Dr. Tsai today after radiation.  I'll tell her I am finally getting the predicted irritation of the esophagus.  I just wish it didn't wake me up so much during the night.

OK, I have to tell you the music on Cinemagic right now is really GOOD, even though it's from "Speed 2:  Cruise Control."  It's composed by Mark Mancina.  Just excellent.

I know this blog is starting to sound like a whining session, but my neck and shoulder are all screwed up, too.  I miss my bi-weekly massage sessions!

So, yeah, all in all, I'm pretty miserable today.  But other than that, I woke up breathing, so that's a good sign.

Now, I'll go see if the mail is here... I can use a walk.  I've been neglecting my NuStep quite horribly.  I'm sure that's not helping my miserability. :D

Well, be happy, all... see you tomorrow.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Sometimes I forget...

...how bad I feel over the weekend.  I assume it's the chemo from Thursday working its way out of my body.  Saturday is the worst; I get dizzy, weak, and can't get warm.  I feel like I have the flu, or... here's a great word:  Ague.  I can't concentrate on anything. 

By Sunday, it's starting to dissipate, although I still feel weak, I'm not so dizzy.  The dizziness is a pain.  I have to use a walker just to get around the house.  But I remember once when Evelyn actually fell and hit her jaw on her kitchen counter and had to have stitches, so ... I'll use the walker. 

It's a bit overcast today.  And we have a bad air alert.  Of course, it's a no-burn day, and I just put my dogs out, and someone definitely is using their fireplace.  *cough*

I bought myself a tin of 36 water color pencils, so maybe if I feel better later, I'll go play with them.  Right now, though, I think I'll just go lie down for a while and maybe have a nap... a nap before 9AM... how odd. ;)

Keep warm, all, be safe and be happy.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Saw Pulmonary Doc Yesterday

... and was he ever happy with my progress.  I think of all the doctors, he was the most taken aback by the esophageal cancer diagnosis.  He kept telling me how amazed he was that I was doing so well, considering how debilitating my treatment regimen can be.

It had been three months since I had seen him, and I had lost 10 lbs, but he said my lungs really sounded great for me. :)  Now I don't have to return to him for four months. 

I had radiation number TWENTY-FIVE yesterday!  Some days, it's hard to drag yourself out there every single week day, but hey, it keeps you alive, so you do it.  And it's not like I have to drive to Peoria or someplace on the west side.  The only problem is surviving the commute through the snowbirds.  Sometimes, they do ... odd things... with their vehicles.

Jane just got up and decided we needed to have pancakes for breakfast.  Ok, that gets my vote.  Better check my glucose first.  My poor glucose numbers get all out of whack after chemo.  Usually by Saturday we're back in my normal range.  And hooray, we are indeed. :D

I have a little One Touch Ultra Mini glucose meter... in pink.  It's fast and very accurate.  They were using it for pre-pet scan testing at East Valley Diagnostic Imaging, and I thought it was ... cute.. and FAST!  So, I went to their website and got a free one.  Oh yes, they can give you a free meter because believe me, they make up their costs in the profits from the test strips.

Well, I hear pancake production has begun in the kitchen, so I must go investigate. ;)

Be happy, all... and keep warm!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Post-Chemo Insomnia

Not complaining, mind you, especially since the treatments seem to be working.  Still, I got tired of tossing and turning, so I thought I'd get up and do something productive, like write. :)

Jane told me she saw a commercial for Ironwood Cancer and Research Center, but not really a commercial; they were sponsoring something on PBS.  YAY for them!  My friend Mary from COPD International asked me if that was the Ironwood I go to, and yes, it is.  I go to the one in Mesa, though, since it's close to most of my other doctors.  I do have to say that traffic has picked up out that way since the advent of Fall.  The Snowbirds have arrived.  I think they double the population of that area.

Gosh, I'm feeling so optimistic after reading that last CT report.  I'm thinking I really CAN go back to work!  Maybe I'll have to have one of my sisters drive me and I can use my electric scooter.  I just worry that I won't be able to do 40 hours initally, but I know my manager will work with me on that.  I'll probably continue with the chemo and radiation for a while, and that definitely brings on some fatigue.  I can still telecommute, so that will help immensely!  Especially when my white counts drop like they have been and the risk of infection is high.

Dr. F caught me in the hall yesterday, while I was waiting for my radiation treatment.  He said that he had discussed surgery with Dr. Tsai the Radiation Oncologist and she definitely agreed that surgery was not an option.  Since Dr. E, my surgeon, had described the surgery for me, in really graphic and frightening detail, I have to say I am very relieved.  I told Dr. F that my fear was that I'd be on a ventilator, if I even survived, and that's not how I want to spend my last days.  I'm so happy that I can discuss things like this with my two wonderful Oncs. :)

Um, I made myself some coffee, and it's really WONDERFUL.  I'm definitely not driving to the Pulmonologist today.  Thank the gods I have my three sisters here.  I always have someone that will get me where I need to go.

Ah HAH, spell check is not working at 3:30am.  I just had to test it out, since it keeps telling me that I have no errors, and I know how I type at the best of times.  Either that or ADLOCIFY is a real word.  Maybe I should go look that up.

Oh well, I'll close this post now and go play World of Warcraft for a bit.  I have an Undead Hunter that needs to work on her Leatherworking profession. ;)

Keep warm, all, and don't forget to hug someone that needs it!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

It's Social Chemo Day again...

...and boy is there a lot of socializing today.  I'm sitting with Donna and Suzy and we're just talking about our experiences.  Shared experiences help mitigate some of the fear inherent in all this stuff.  Both of these ladies have nasty, inoperable cancers, so they are in the same boat as I.  We're doing everything we can to get the most time with the people we love.  Oh, yes, and the chihuahuas. ;)

Jane and Nancy dropped me off, and headed out to the Thrift stores in search of treasures.  Sometimes the hunting is good, and sometimes, it's fruitless, but I think they have fun in the hunt alone.  Jane always waits to get my netbook set up before they leave. 

My new chair for my bedroom came yesterday.  Oh I love it.  Nice and sturdy, yet comfortable, and it makes me sit straight, which I need for better breathing.  Yes, I got it in that very green.  Green IS my favorite color.

Tomorrow I'll be off to see my lung doctor, and hopefully, he'll say that things on that front are just fine.  I think they are so far.  At least I feel like I'm moving air pretty well.

OK, now I need to go eat something.  I think I'll go peruse the 'snacks' that Ironwood provides....

Later, all!

We have SHRINKAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know exactly the rate of shrinkage on the Evil Tumor itself, but I do have the measurements on one of the lymph nodes:  Original size was 25 x 25, yesterday it was 14 x 21.  Oh yeah, I'll take that!!!


Dr. F iterated that while I won't be cured, this is a good step toward control of the cancer. Unfortunately, though, my white counts are still too low, so we're doing half doses of Carboplatin and Taxol today.  Herceptin, on the other hand is still at full dose, and that's a very good thing.

So, the Benadryl is kicking in, and I'm getting groggy, so that's it for this post.

Love to EVERYONE! :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Nuts

I like nuts.  They are really good for you, too.  I think having skipped a week of Chemo, I've gotten my appetite back, and now I am craving all kinds of things.  Nuts, for one.  So, I found some Blue Diamond Almonds, Jalapeno Smokehouse flavor.  Yummy!  I'm guessing with all the flavoring agents, NOT so good for you as the more natural ones, but dang, really good. ;)

Today will be radiation 23... five more to go!  I went and got my blood work done this AM, and asked for the hand warmer as soon as I got there, as I had been instructed two weeks ago by my phlebotomist.  Too bad it wouldn't fit under my glove, but oh, it was soooo nice, and it really did make a world of difference in getting my vein ready for tapping.

I'm quite happy with the folks at Sonora Quest, the lab I use every week.  They are considerate, mostly on time, and do a great job.  I always appreciate a phlebotomist that looks at the availability of your veins and decides you're too much of a challenge, then goes and gets someone else.  That is the mark of caring blood-letter. :D

Back to nuts.  I also got a bag of Planters Wicked Hot Chipotle Peanuts.  Now these are definitely hot, but not as good as the Blue Diamond.  Mostly, I think because of the nut factor itself.  I just like almonds better.  But cravings are cravings, and so, had to get the peanuts, too.

It should reach 70 today, so it's definitely a little more comfortable.  And of course, wearing a head-covering does indeed help keep your entire body warm.  I am sure I would have learned this at a much earlier age if I had grown up in Wisconsin or Michigan. ;)

Well, tomorrow it's back to Chemo.  My little netbook is ready, and I'm taking some Glucerna bars and .. I think I'll take my almonds!  Plus I have this great flavored water I like to sip on constantly during chemo, because of the hellacious dry mouth thing.  Just have to get past the Benadryl woooooziness, and it's all good.

So, I'll type to you all tomorrow, from chemo and let you know how it's going.  See you then; keep warm and give out some hugs!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

People can be Strange...

Yesterday, while hanging out in the pre-Radiation area... and it's impossible to have had radiation and not know that people are there because they are next in line to get zapped... a woman came by.  She looked at me and asked if I was alright.  (This in itself is not all that weird.  I look ... not so good.   If you thought I was white before... um... yeah.)

I said, yes, that I was fine, and gave her a smile.  My courteous side demanded I return the question.  "And how are you?"  How I wish I had not.

She takes a breath, and begins, "Well, they burned me really badly in radiation, and now I have an infection in the burn, and it's drug resistant..." I'm sure she could have continued had not a receptionist grabbed her and taken her to a consultation room.

Hey, nothing  I like more to hear as I WAIT TO BE FRIED, than Radiation horror stories.  And you could just TELL by the look in her eyes, that she was really enjoying passing along her fears.  I wondered for a moment if my mother had possessed her.

So, I gave myself a stern talking to, and went and did my radiation.  But, I had a bit of a panic attack during the actual frying.  I thought to myself... what a ...well, that B word, but this is NOT an adult blog, so... yeah... what a B-word.  She knew what she was doing.  Still, it was up to ME not to respond.  Alas, I did, but today during the CT, I was fine again, and I know I will be fine later today when I have Radiation number 22.

I mentioned the story to my Radiation Tech as we were finishing up.  She told me something I already knew.  There are people out there, strange people, that thrive on upsetting other people.  You know we've all encountered one or two in our lives.  They truly live for telling people pertinent horror stories.  I don't understand it.

I've spent many a day in the Radiation area assuring newbs that it doesn't hurt, that it isn't scary, and that it's very effective.  Can you imagine if this lady had gotten hold of one of THEM?  They'd have run screaming from Ironwood.

Well, anywho, the CT is now history, and I get the really fun part, waiting for someone to tell me the results.  Think positive thoughts, Tequila.  Go play World of Warcraft...

Hugs to all!

Off to get the CT...

.. to see if Evil Tumor has gotten smaller, and see if the lymph nodes are controlled.  Now, when I say it's freezing outside, I am, for once, not exaggerating:  It's 31!!!!  Holy moses, isn't this still Autumn?

One of the 'thrills' about dealing with cancer are the tests and getting the results.  This CT's results are very important to me.  I don't want to dwell on things that are non-positive, especially since the test is in an hour, and I'd rather face it with positive vibes.  But, I think you can guess the negative aspects of what the results could be.

On the other hand, I'd like to see Evil Tumor has shrunk and his companions are no more.  I still don't want that damned surgery, though. 

I would kill for coffee right now, but no food or drink before the CT.  Cooooooffffeeeeeeeeee.  Yes, I am losing it.  Well, it's early!  And, and... it's COLD!  Oh dear, I hope my lemon tree survived. 

Well, see you all later.  Think positive thoughts!

Monday, November 29, 2010

To Heat, or not to Heat

Last year we never turned on our heat pump.  Arizona is a little different when it comes to utilities; we spend most of our utilities budget on cooling the house down, rather than heating it up.  In this household, we try to keep electric use to a minimum during the winter so that we can afford to cool the house in the summer.

Currently, in my bedroom, the temperature is 64.4.  While this might seem lovely to many, it's a bit nippy for me. :)  But, I have a sweater on over my pajamas, as I sit here at my computer, sipping really yummy hot coffee.  Outside, it is currently 36 degrees.  It was a very chilly night. 

The point is that for us, it's simply easier to wrap up, put on more blankets, or more clothes and be warmed in the winter.  In the summer, you can only take OFF so many things before your neighbors call the Police.  Besides, don't we all sleep better when there is a bit of a chill in the house?  Kind of like a hibernation switch flips on; you cuddle under the blankets, and BOOM!... you sleep.

Oh, and lest we forget, we have furry insulation devices here.  For me, it's Cisco and Quito.  Though both are so old now, I have to PUT them up on the bed, boy, do those chihuahuas give off some heat!  And they are soft and cuddly to boot!

So, unless it really gets like Arctic cold here, I guess I have answered my question; no heat! 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Everything Old is New Again

...well, at least in the World Of Warcraft.  And that's why I didn't post yesterday, because I was far too busy having FUN!  I never once thought about chemo or radiation, or impending doom, or anything like that.

This is Aicarumba, my Troll Druid.  Ok, not the prettiest of cats, and I don't actually play her in cat form, but this is the only picture I have of her so far.

But, here's the thing; being the realist that I am, I called Blizzard, the makers of World of Warcraft, and asked about transferring the ownership of my accounts after I am gone.  The reason I asked is that I have a TON of stuff that will benefit the rest of my family.  It would need to be either sold or transferred.  The Blizzard guy said that the family member would just need to send a copy of the death certificate, and then they would transfer the ownership of the account.  Apparently this does happen, and so they are prepared.  And now, so are we. :)

Who knew you'd have to think about your on-line persona as well as your human self?  And there is COPD International.  I have made some friends on their bulletin board, and they too have a process for notification.  You sign up for the Keep in Touch program, and in the event you suddenly stop posting, or someone says, 'Hey, anyone heard from Tequila, lately?' ... they will call the number you provided to get status.  It's a great service, and one the board administrators have had to use from time to time.  But at least it lets people KNOW.

Tomorrow it's back to the old grind... no, not work, darnit, rather my 'other' career of being a cancer patient.  Tomorrow is radiation 21, then on Tuesday I have my CT with Contrast to check my progress.  Let's hope those two random lymph nodes are either cancer-free, or they haven't added any friends to the group.  And maybe the main tumor will have shrunk a bit.  Please.

And radiation is still on for Tuesday-Friday, but Wednesday I have to hit the lab and see how my blood counts are going, and Thursday is of course, Chemo. :)  So, that's my grind, and really, it's not that bad. 

Our Winter Solstice tree is up in the library.  I found a skinny silvery pre-lit tree, listed as 'whimsical,' but I think it's beautiful.  Jane wanted to know what kind of ornaments I wanted on it, but I like it bare, with just the lights.  It's simple, clean and gorgeous.  It provides a warm ambiance in the library; festive, too... at least to me. :D

For lunch, I'm looking forward to some of the Turkey Vegetable soup we made for dinner yesterday.  I adore soup; I could eat soup every meal, every day.  But of course, I only love soup that my sisters and I MAKE, none of that canned liquid sodium.  I think it's a good sign that I am looking forward to lunch and it's only 9:16 AM. ;)

Well, all, keep warm, stay safe and don't forget to give someone a hug today.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Post-turkey day rundown.

Well, run down.... yeah that's me, but it was very much worth it.  I discovered that veggies were much easier to chop if I sat at my kitchen table and did it.  I also discovered that Parsnips are not bad, roasted.  I don't think I've ever eaten them before.  The roasted veggie salad was a hit. 

My two neighbors brought little pumpkin and cream cheese tartlets.  They were the size of two bites, so they were perfect!  They also brought the same sized pecan pies.  If you had one of each you were set.

We actually ended up making two corn breads, one with the jalapenos and one without, which was good.  Hey, it turns out that Helen, one of the neighbors is 89!  This lady is amazing, and a great neighbor, too.

My sister-in-law, Jackie and my niece Alaina brought their own Tofurkey, but got lots of the trimmings as well.  They are vegetarians, and thus I left the BACON off the roasted veggies salad.  :D  Jackie says there is such a thing as Fakeon, or something like that, but... oh no... me love BACON!  And, I found out this morning, they brought PIE!  A chocolate silk pie, and I never even saw it.  OK, you two, get back here and have some!

Although the food was great, the best part was a congenial meal with sisters, and friends; people who have a strong regard for each other, and too, my favorite thing, great conversation.  We reminisced about Mom; she and Helen used to do a lot of things together, like go out to lunch to Mata's for Mexican food, especially the Margaritas. :D

Helen said that Mom was very proud of me.  You know, I knew it, but she never said it.  You all, TELL PEOPLE when you are proud of them.  TELL PEOPLE when you love them.  TELL PEOPLE when you find them charming, or considerate, or kind.  Don't NOT say it out loud.  Don't be afraid to tell them.  Don't let them wonder. 

Anywho, I am now wrapped head-to-toe in the knitted goodies that Julie has made for me.  Oh boy have they come in handy.  I think we must be heading for a new Ice Age, and it's starting here in Arizona.  Dang!  It's COLD!

Well, hugs to all, and keep warm and safe and don't forget to be kind every day.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

With bright sunshine and cool temperatures, the Arizona desert gives me much for which to be thankful:  Fresh citrus fruits, fragrant verbena, cactus wrens, ravens, great horned owls, bougainvillea and hibiscus, and occasionally, clean air!

I am especially thankful to have a wonderful, supportive and loving family.  I could not do this cancer without you all.  When I have no appetite you tempt me with morsels no sane person could resist.  When I'm cold, you make me warm, knitted goodies to cover my mangy-looking head. :D

I have eight more radiations to go, for this round.  I think I have four more chemos, also.. for this round.  I don't kid myself that once this batch is done, I'll be good and not need any more.  Still, you know this is a small price to pay if I get another year or maybe more.  I am still hoping to return to work.  Perhaps once we're down to just a weekly Herceptin infusion, I can do it.  But, that's up to my wonderful oncology doctors, and yes, I am VERY thankful for both Dr. Fastenberg and Dr. Tsai.  How lucky I am that I once had a blood clot and Dr. Fastenbuerg was called in to consult.  I don't think I could go through this without such an amazing oncologist.

And the entire staff at Ironwood Cancer and Research Center; how you all do this every day, with smiles and great care  and kindness... simply awesome.  I might be wheeling myself down a hall towards radiation, when no matter who I pass, eye-contact is made and a smile is given.  It might be a small thing, but you can't know how much that smile means to all of us patients.  It means we matter, that despite our illness, someone cares and understands we are HUMANS.

The veggies have been roasted for the salad; butternut squash, parsnips, Anaheim chilies (wasn't in the recipe, but .. hehe, you know... gotta be true to the heritage), garlic, red onions, spritzed with olive oil.  Later, I'll wilt some spinach, toss with the roasted veggies, dress with sun dried tomato vinaigrette, and then top with pine nuts.  Yum.

Also just popped the jalapeno corn bread in the oven.  Cathy and Jane are out working on the bird, which has to be in the oven by 11AM.  We'll have a relatively early dinner just in case anyone needs to go elsewhere for another get-together. 

And now, time to go check that cornbread, and get something else to drink besides coffee.  I'm HORRIBLE at keeping myself hydrated.  I have bad (coffee) hydration habits.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, be safe, be happy and enjoy life!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

And now, it's cold!

But don't forget that's Arizona desert cold.... tomorrow's high is supposed to be 59!  Ai carumba!  Oh well, at least we don't have to leave the house.  Yes, I know, I am SO wimpy when it comes to cold. :)

The World of Warcraft had its shattering yesterday, and I made a Troll Druid.  I love druids; I'll be trying a different tactic with this one, though.  But how the world of Azeroth has changed!  It's almost a totally different game from the one my family started playing almost five years ago.  It's given new life to the game; Nancy was up until Midnight playing Vacasanta, her new Tauren Paladin.  I didn't last that long.

So, it will be interesting, seeing how the world of Azeroth has changed, and taking a youngster through it all again.

Today is Radiation 20.  Wow... and yes, radiation is very tough on your body.  I'm always exhausted, now.  But I try hard to eat plenty of protein, and I drink my Glucerna supplements, which has a goodly amount of protein in it.  The esophagus is definitely fried.  It's hard to describe it, but it's almost like you're getting acid reflux; it burns, but not constantly, although it does wake me up several times a night.

Nobody has called from Ironwood to schedule the CT with contrast that is supposed to be done on the 30th.  Dr. F will chide them most severely if they don't get it done.  I adore that guy. :)

I can't wait for tomorrow's feast.  We have two single neighbors coming.  Leslie is in her late sixties, and Helen is 87.  They have been our friends since we moved into this house in 1992.  Both Helen and Leslie would help me watch my mom before my two sisters moved out here with us.  They are the definition of true neighbors.

Well, I'm chafing at the bit to go play my new druid, so I'm off.  I want to send Hugs, Kisses and LOVE to everyone that reads this blog and also everyone that checks up on me, and makes sure I eat, and cares about my well-being. I am so lucky, so so lucky!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Radiation Consult

I saw Dr. Tsai after today's radiation, and she was concerned about my lungs because Dr. F told her that I wasn't moving much air on Thursday.  She listened to them, and was glad to hear more air movement today.  I told her that the change in the weather was definitely affecting my asthma, but I watch my sats and my peak flow meter numbers, and I'm doing pretty well.

Dr. T said that she and Dr. F want the CT on the 30th so that we can see if there has been any change in the tumor.  If, as she suspects, there has been some shrinkage, then she wants to recalibrate my radiation and shrink the area of effect to best save my lungs.  I *knew* December 8 wouldn't be my last radiation. :P

Here is my Hibiscus.  It still needs a bit of polishing up, but I think it actually LOOKS like a hibiscus blossom, so I'm happy. :)

And so, two more radiations this week, and Dr. T gave me a couple of prescriptions just in case things get bad over the long weekend.  I kid you not, one is for Magic Mouthwash.  It's Lidocaine, Maalox and Benadryl... I'm supposed to slurp it down with a straw, so it goes into the esophagus and not in my mouth.  A lidocained tongue is no good to anyone. ;)

The other prescription is for some heavy-duty painkillers.  I'm not a big fan of painkillers in any way, shape, or form.  I will have to be in a LOT of pain before I will take one.  After my mastectomy, I took ONE painkiller, and that was because the ride home from the hospital was really ouchie.  My sister says I deal with pain very well. 

I'm starting to play World Of Warcraft again, so at least I have lots to do.  And with my new watercolor crayons, holy cow, life is good. :)

Hugs and kisses to all!  Extra ones to Jon and Michelle, as they are experiencing the joy of cross country flight.  I love you both very much.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

This is a quick one...

...and only here so that I can share with you a picture of my friends.  It was right before Christmas, and the year we finished the redesign of my kitchen.  We got through a huge platter of my black bean enchiladas, and had laughed and enjoyed each other as we always did.

There's Julie, who reads this blog and comments and makes the most amazing greeting cards.  Next to her is Polly; she's the one I call when I need to laugh. I don't know how or why, but we crack each other up like we are lunatics.

That's me in the middle, in my stunning purple blouse.  I love color, as you can probably tell from my sparkly red counter tops.

Next is Kathy, and I don't know her as well as my other friends, but she fit right in from the start.

Finally, for the back row, is Dorothy, or Dotski as we like to call her.  She's an instigator, a plotter of plots, and not in any evil way whatsoever.  Dot's got a lot of life in her and she loves to share it.

In the front there are Maggie and Evelyn, sisters and friends.  We know a lot about sisters and friends in this house, and all these ladies are my sister/friends.  Evelyn has gone on before us, but she will never be unloved amongst us, and we will all be together again, and maybe I'll get to do the cooking again, and we'll have wine, and giggle and just love each other all over again.

Rain!

Alas, it barely wet the ground, but, wow, it's really cooled off here in the desert.  Michelle, my dear friend from Chicago, is making us a baked chicken with veggies and tarragon and white wine.  Jon is making a potato terrine with Yukon Golds.  I made a huge pot of rice.  :D  Fear not, I have the coolest Zojirushi rice maker on the planet, so no labor involved.  I adore rice.  We actually use a mix of Texmati, Red Rice, Barley and Rye.  Gotta get those grains, folks. :)

Both Michelle and I love to use watercolors in any way, shape, or form.  I really enjoy using watercolor pencils, but Michelle gave me a tray of watercolor crayons, and seeing as how one of my favorite Hibiscus is in bloom, I decided I would paint it and try out the crayons.  What fun!  I've got a bit more work to do on it, but I'll post it here when I am done.  There is something very serene about the application of the wet brush to the laid out watercolor; watching the interplay of the colors and knowing there is no way you can ruin your work.  It's yours.  If you think it's great, then it must be. :D

Three days of radiation this week, and then Thanksgiving.  I have always loved Thanksgiving; Auntie would get up really early to get a HUGE bird in the oven.  We'd search the stores for the biggest, because we actually would need it.  There was no telling who would be over for dinner on Thanksgiving.  We expected a crowd, and we usually got it.  Of course, there were parts of the meal that were not my favorite:  oyster stuffing.  Oh gods.  But I guess my dad liked it. ;)

There would always be those creepy canned cranberry dishes.. not one of my faves, you can tell, but Auntie would have made her pumpkin pies.  Very little sugar in those pies, but they were the most heavenly thing on earth.  Some years, I'd get a couple of Bean Pies from the Shabazz folks on Martin Luther King Boulevard.  Oh, those were awesome.  I think mashed potatoes were the order of the day for Thanksgiving, so my mom was happy.  Give that woman a potato, and you made her day.  Must be that Irish in her. :)

Now, to go off on a tangent, just let me tell Cee that I have started reading 'The Shack', and I am enjoying it.  I love you, big sis. :)

Hugs and kisses to all... keep warm and ... GIVE MORE HUGS!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Saturday minus Energy

I think I see rain clouds on the horizon, but it's been so long since I've seen them, I might be mistaken. ;)

Oh, how lovely it would be to have a little rain, and it's cool, and you can snuggle up in your blankets and sleep so well.  It's those little pleasures in life that keep us going.  A few years back, my sisters and I had our back yard redone and there is a stone fountain right outside my bedroom that I can hear, and it is surrounded by my beloved hibiscus.  I think one of these posts has a picture of it.  Oh yes, it's this one!

It's not an ornate fountain, but it has clean lines and makes a nice splishy-splashy noise.  It's calm and serene.  Just to the south of it is the sundial in which my mom's ashes are stored.  It's surrounded by Mexican Heather and some beautiful salmon colored ... um.... flowers.  I can't remember what kind they are.  Botany was not my forte. ;)

The rain clouds are filling the air with negative ions, so everything just feels GOOD right now; all is right with the world.  I think this would be a good time to go take a nap.  Yes, it's slug time again and I am sleeeepy.

Hugs to all.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Radiation done for this week!

Cathy and I just returned from radiation.  One of my radiation buddies, Marie, had her last zap today.  Marie, I'd say, is somewhere in her 80's and cute as a button and sweet as they come.  She also has a great attitude, and always smiles and hugs me when she sees me. 

It's one of the bittersweet parts of being there every day.  I see many of the same people, and watch their progress, and I have to say that for the most part, there is hope and optimism.  Yes, some times you come across someone you just can't be near because they are giving out waves of bitterness, self-loathing and a hatred of the world at large.  Thankfully, those individuals are few and far between.

And, too, I think we all have those days we just aren't taking things as well as we normally do.. and that was my yesterday.  Interestingly enough, I spent time talking to one of the chemo inmates that I moved away from a few weeks ago (diplomatically, of course).  This week, she had a much improved attitude and told me about how much of a pain the 20 mile one way trip was, but that the restaurant patrons where she worked took up a collection to help her pay her transportation costs.  It was a great story, and my opinion of her changed quite drastically in that one day. 

So, I need to remember that we can't all be cancer cheerleaders every single moment.  Yesterday I cried, and that's something I hadn't done since the day the gastro showed me the pictures of the evil tumor.  And even then, I had no idea of the seriousness of the prognosis, nor the true ordeal that was awaiting me.  It was cancer.. and I had beaten it before.  But, alas, this one doesn't get beaten, although I still hold out hope that I can be in that 5% but the lungs are problematic and aren't adding any points in my favor.  Drat. ;)

Now I have two days off, and I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep, enjoy my company, and maybe tonight I'll have a glass of wine.  I'll cuddle up with my two chihuahuas, and have some good dreams.

Love to all... and hugs and kisses, too.

YAY, Aetna got the paperwork...

...and they have already assigned it to an analyst.  I may actually get paid next week! :)

I got hit by the post chemo insomnia last night.  So, I was on the computer until around 3:30AM just roaming aimlessly.  Alas, this can become dangerous if you hit somewhere with cool furniture.  But I was strong and did not buy the $5700 leather chaise that would be SO neat to lounge upon when you get exhausted. ;)

Today, my sisters are going to take Jon and Michelle out wandering, and I will rest.  I have to go in later for my radiation, but they'll be back in time to take me.  Dr. F said that my schedule shows that December 8 is my last radiation for this go-round.  It's probably not going to be my last, period.  But you know, gotta take all this one day at a time, otherwise it all gets overwhelming.

I can't tell you how much I miss working; I miss the brain-work, I miss my Boeing family, and I miss the invigoration of the human give and take of conversation.  It's kinda been this way with being a telecommuter.  I worked at the plant usually Monday through Wednesday and worked at home on Thursday and Friday.  This was because of my diminishing lung function; by the end of the week, I was exhausted.  But as my lung disease progressed, there were weeks I spent the entire time at home.  I was so excited at being able to go in on Monday and see my dear co-workers/friends.

January, my current minions rotate, and I won't be there to greet the incoming ones, but I know them; I was part of the hiring panel, and they are two wonderful, smart women.  They'll be fine.  Oh heck, they'll be GREAT!  But I wish I could be there to absorb some of that intelligence. ;)

Ok, I guess I really will go get some rest.  Love to all.  And hugs and kisses. :)

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