Well, it wasn’t as bad a Thursday as when I’d had the Neulasta shot, but it wasn’t a joyride, either. I’ve got some bone pains, but nothing like the Thursday from hell. I just don’t feel very well, and I’m finding it difficult to get the energy to get up from a sit. I did sleep last night, though, more than the two hours of the night before. :)
The day following chemo, my glucose is whacked out because of the pre-med, Decadron, which is also responsible for the post-chemo insomnia. Yesterday morning I tested at 178, so I took a glipizide with my regular Januvia. This morning I was 111, so that’s a good thing. Cancer treatments do make dealing with Diabetes a bit problematic but my PCP is doing a great job helping me through.
Didn’t feel like eating this morning, but since I have to take my docxycline and Januvia, I have to eat something. I downed a Glucerna bar. Well, that sounds like I made quick work of it, but it took me an hour to get it all down.
I found it a very wonderful thing to have to work with my numbers today, because they really can take me out of the misery. I concentrate on the story they tell, make sure it’s the truth, double check, examine the logic. I will not put out something with my name on it that isn’t right.
You know, the last round of chemo, which I had in November and December of last year, I didn’t have this total fall-out of my hair. It was thinner, for sure, and there were patches of baldness, but nothing like this total desertion of follicles. Is it weird that after the initial shock at the great gobs of falling locks, I really am ENJOYING being bald? It certainly makes showers a lot faster! Eyelashes falling out are just odd. They get on my glasses, and I try to keep them out of my eyes. Blech. :D
I saw the end of a documentary last night, “How to Die in Oregon.” The portion I saw detailed a liver cancer patient making the choice to have physician-assisted suicide. Oregon passed the Death With Dignity Act in 1994. When my mom was dying, and more than ready to BE dead, I found it inhumane that she could not be ushered from this life in a caring, dignified, painless fashion. I could give this gift to my aged cat, but not my aged parent, and for now, I can’t even give this gift to myself. No, I’m not ready yet, by a long-shot, but when I am, at least I know that Hospice will be my best option in lieu of euthanasia.
Ok, I know this was kind of a bummer post, but I'm feeling kind of bummed out, not really emotionally, but physically just done in. In fact, I think I'm going back to bed now that my work day is over. You'll probably look at this and think "what time do you start work, anyway?" Well, the answer is, I can't sleep past sunrise, ever, so, I start working at six in the morning, and I'm done by 2:30PM.
Love to all, and don't worry, the first Thursday post-chemo is the hardest. Tomorrow will be a little better, and then the next day, better, and better, and better. :)