It's Getting so HARD!

Well, I had reasonably decent glucose numbers today, but you should have seen what I ate!  I had two fried eggs for breakfast.  Glucose went down.  Lunch was 8 heirloom cherry tomatoes, one slice of pepper jack cheese and an orange.  Glucose almost hit 200 again!  For dinner I made a skillet supper of chilies, onions, ground turkey, Rotelle tomatoes and chilies, brown rice, rye, and barley.  Glucose is best it's been all day.

So what have I learned?  Not really sure, except I think oranges must be bad, but those whole grains are really good.  And I really have to work on my protein consumption.  Breakfast was fine, lunch was rather iffy.

Then I've had a really nasty stress headache all day for which I used to get my bi-weekly massages... but, alas, I had just better get it through my thick noggin that I'll never have another one of THEM!

I woke up so depressed this morning; definitely not like me, and it occurred to me that my previous, daily exercise routine was something that always helped my mental state.  Of course, not to mention it helped my glucose as well.  Thus I hit the NuStep.  As you might imagine, I haven't been very active for a while, but I thought, if I at least try to get ten minutes a day or so... maybe twice a day, surely that will help.

I managed nine minutes, and coughed like a loon through eight of them.  But I did feel at least a small sense of accomplishment.  Frankly some days, it's been a chore to get from my bedroom to my home office.  So I'll take those nine minutes and maybe tomorrow I'll GET to ten minutes.

The main thing is that I have to remember that my glucose is still wonky because of the Prednisone.  It will take a few days to get it under control, and I doubt that 'worrisome' mass on my adrenal gland is going to do anything sinister in that time-frame.  I'll bet it's a wart or something.  Or adrenal prednisone acne!

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep, hopefully uninterrupted by my friendly owl family who are SO DAMNED LOUD, but exciting to have around as long as they don't eat my chihuahuas.

So, sleep well, all.... eat right, get rest, and drink Geritol... do they even MAKE Geritol anymore? :)

Done in by Prednisone

Well, I am home early, and very discouraged.  As I mentioned earlier, prednisone screws with your glucose, and thus, no PET for me today.  My glucose was at 228.

I was psyched up to do it, dammit.  Oh well.

So, I am stopping the pred as of now; the lungs seem to be doing OK anyway.  They said track my glucose for three days, four times a day and when it's under control again, call 'em up.

Must avoid those carbs, too.  No toast.  I'm going to lose weight again.  But we can't do the scan over 200... it's just that I am not supposed to lose weight.  Oy vey.

Ok, so we'll work on this.  And we'll get the scan.  Minor set-back. 

PET Scan Number Two

I know I haven't posted since Monday, and that's gotten my phone ringing a bit, which is a testament to the fact that those who read this blog notice these things.  And I love you for that. :)


Monday, after I quit virtually working for the day, I had some leftover "Dinner in a Loaf" and went to bed at 6:30PM.  I woke up at 11ish, had some water, and then went back to bed and got up at 6AM.  That's a heck of a lot of sleep for me.


However, the fever has left the building, and though I continue to cough up crap out of my lungs, the volume of said crap is subsiding.


I've got an appointment for PET Scan number two at 2PM today.  I also got a voice mail from Ironwood's finance department.  Perhaps they were trying to warn me ahead of time that this procedure would be the max out I've been waiting for on my 'out of pocket.'  And that would be good, because my pockets are getting threadbare.  Thank the gods for that bonus which is now about petered out.  Everything works out, somehow or another. :)


So, I'll be hitting the Xanax just around when I get to Ironwood, because if this is anything like the last PET, I'd rather have it on board when I get there than to take it 1/2 hour before entering the tube o' terror.


I will check my glucose level before I leave the house, too. They can't do the test if my glucose is over 200, and it sure as hell had better not be.  I had scrambled eggs and one piece of toast for breakfast, and that's it so far today.  Plus, I took my Januvia, so I should pass that test.


I was reading an article today about how patients present themselves to doctors and how, many times, turn a deaf ear to their doctors' instructions.  Is it simple laziness in participating in their own care?  Is it that some aspect of their home life makes it almost impossible to follow orders?  Can they not afford the medications?  Do they just not give a flying rat's ass?


In my case, I try very hard to do what I'm told, although for years Dr. Ramaswamy would gently yell at me because I kept refusing to get another colonoscopy.  I told him I woke up during the first one and all the Versed in the world would not change the fact that I remembered the pain.


That's one of the reasons he was so happy when he finally convinced me to see Dr. Collins, the gastro.  And this time, thanks to that propofol, it was a breeze.  So yeah, in my case my lack of compliance was fear of pain.  Oh, that damned fear; it really wreaks havoc on an otherwise intelligent brain.


An actual good reason for my not posting is that I was busy playing Dragon Age II.  :)  It's a nice break from World of Warcraft.


So, I'm going to play a bit before I have to mosey out to Ironwood and begin my torturous tubular adventure.


Hugs and kisses!

Back to Pred and Levaquin

Well, the pulmo warned me that this might be hard to shake.  I'm coughing like I should be in the tuberculosis ward.  My phone conversations with work are... ugh.  Thankfully, everyone's been very understanding.  And Microsoft Communicator works very well in these situations. :)

We just had some leftovers of the 'Dinner in a Loaf' which amazingly bore NO resemblance to the original recipe.  We used ground lamb and pork, ricotta, spinach, finely diced red peppers, an italian cheese combo from Sprouts, cream of mushroom soup and the bread crumbs scooped out of the loaf.  Oh gosh it was quite satisfying.  I love spinach in anything.  Popeye and I ... spinach-a-holics.

Last night I had a fever of 100.3, which is why we're going back on the antibiotics.  And I need the pred to make sure I can breathe.  Thank the gods for my beloved oxygen concentrator.  At least when I sleep I'm sure not to desaturate.

Still no one has called about setting up that PET scan, and frankly, I feel so crappy, I don't care.  If I feel better next week, I'll call my oncologist's office and let them figure it out.  I just want to crawl in my bed and keep warm... and it's not exactly cold, now, actually.  I told my pulmo that I thought the chemo had whacked out my internal body temperature, and he said it could happen.  But this dratted ague is a pain... literally!

And yet, I got the coolest ring in the mail today, so that perked me right up.  It's silver with a huge clear quartz and some rodalite garnets on the shank.  The quartz is faceted so beautifully that it sparkles like mad.  Yeah, see, I love sparklies as much as spinach.  Happily you can get some sparklies at a reasonable price. :)

Ok, I'm off to bed.  I hurt in many places and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Live long and prosper!

Saturday, Bright Day

My friend, the sun, is out this morning, already blazing away.  I think yesterday was around 80 degrees and that's the forecast for today, as well.  It's just after 7:30AM and it's gorgeous outside.  How can you not be excited to step out into your garden and be able to grab an orange to have with your breakfast?  Heaven!

Yesterday, I decided that I would just randomly grab two cookbooks from my collection, and choose a recipe or two from each and that's what we'd cook this weekend.  And thus, I chose a roast chicken recipe from Nigella Lawson, and something called "Dinner in a Loaf" from a quite whacked out, spiral bound 'community' cookbook someone found in a thrift shop.  Today we'll do the chicken, and pair it with her gratin of potatoes and mushrooms.  I need to head over to Sprouts and see what's available in the fresh veggies arena.  I would LOVE to add some celery root to that gratin; just sounds really good to me.  Or we could top it with some blanched asparagus.  See, I definitely have my appetite back. :)

As for that "Dinner in a Loaf," we'll be adding a bit more nutrition to the original recipe that is essentially ground beef and Velveeta. :D  I'll have to think on that one, but we're good at that sort of thing.  I'm thinking roasted chilies, and maybe some shredded spinach, and ... goat cheese!  Dang, I'm hungry.

Didn't get a call from the PET Scan place, so if they don't call on Monday, I'll call the doctor and he can raise some hell.  He's not a big guy, but when he gets going, he can be pretty scary. :D  I love him to bits.

Ok, I'm going to grab some of my muesli, add some dried cranberries and walnuts and have a good breakfast.  Love to EVERYONE!

Mass on Adrenal Gland

The CT revealed a 'worrisome' mass on my adrenal gland.  So, we'll have to go have another PET scan to see if it lights up.  Dr. F doesn't believe it's cancer, but we have to find out for sure.  And if it is, then it's back to the really toxic chemo.  He says I'm doing so well, he can't believe I would have a new form of cancer, and the one I do have doesn't hit the adrenals.  I hope he's right. :)

Ironwood was so crowded when we got here!  I had to pay again, and frankly, if this keeps up, I may not be able to continue my savings contributions.  We're not talking a $30 copay.  We're talking HUNDREDS of dollars each time I come in for my treatment.

I have to admit, it was not what I was expecting to hear today, but I can deal with it.  I've got my fabulous support system that loves me and will help me through. 

And as usual, the Benadryl infusion is hitting me, now, and I am woozy as heck.  So, I'll close this now and wish you a fantastic day.

Tomorrow We'll Know More...

Because tomorrow I see Dr. Fastenberg and he'll have the results of Monday's CT.  I know he's not going to like the sound of my lungs, but in reality, I did manage to get through this bout of bronchitis pretty darned well for a chick with stage IV Esophageal Cancer. ;)


The main thing is to find out if the Herceptin is doing its job.  I feel good.  I'm guessing it's doing a great job.  In fact, I insist that he tells me it's doing a great job. :D  I think for the Herceptin treatments to be successful, the odds are in my favor.  Really, I want to get back to some semblance of a normal life.  I managed to get in two weeks of work before I got the bronchitis, and I'd have to surmise that I was pretty much run down and an easy target.  Yes, I tried to go into the plant on Tuesday, but I was still way run down and coughing far too much.  Part of the joy of bronchitis is having to cough crap out of your lungs.  I couldn't do that very well at work.  The last thing I want to do is gross out my co-workers, so I tried to expectorate in the ladies' room, but that's quite a hike when you can't breathe, and you have it do it every five minutes or so.... and so, again, the spirit was willing but my flesh was WAY weak. :)


Thank the gods for the ability to telecommute.  But I want to GO to work, and be with my team mates; these are connections that stimulate the brain.  There's nothing better than hashing out some challenge by discussing it with our group.  We're a lovely, diverse bunch, with varied backgrounds and lots of different perceptions, and it works like a dream when we get going.


Yet, I have to get over this bronchitis set back, and not try to get back too soon either and relapse.  But I'll talk to Dr. Fastenberg tomorrow; I'm sure he'll listen to my lungs, as he always does.  I hope he doesn't freak out.  I've got some really deep rattles and wheezes.  


Now I am going to go watch a bit of TV before I head to bed.  I've been so tired because the coughing wears me out, and I've been retiring really early.  But I've got to watch Top Chef first, then bed. ;)


Love to all, keep warm and stay safe and loved.