Yesterday, while hanging out in the pre-Radiation area... and it's impossible to have had radiation and not know that people are there because they are next in line to get zapped... a woman came by. She looked at me and asked if I was alright. (This in itself is not all that weird. I look ... not so good. If you thought I was white before... um... yeah.)
I said, yes, that I was fine, and gave her a smile. My courteous side demanded I return the question. "And how are you?" How I wish I had not.
She takes a breath, and begins, "Well, they burned me really badly in radiation, and now I have an infection in the burn, and it's drug resistant..." I'm sure she could have continued had not a receptionist grabbed her and taken her to a consultation room.
Hey, nothing I like more to hear as I WAIT TO BE FRIED, than Radiation horror stories. And you could just TELL by the look in her eyes, that she was really enjoying passing along her fears. I wondered for a moment if my mother had possessed her.
So, I gave myself a stern talking to, and went and did my radiation. But, I had a bit of a panic attack during the actual frying. I thought to myself... what a ...well, that B word, but this is NOT an adult blog, so... yeah... what a B-word. She knew what she was doing. Still, it was up to ME not to respond. Alas, I did, but today during the CT, I was fine again, and I know I will be fine later today when I have Radiation number 22.
I mentioned the story to my Radiation Tech as we were finishing up. She told me something I already knew. There are people out there, strange people, that thrive on upsetting other people. You know we've all encountered one or two in our lives. They truly live for telling people pertinent horror stories. I don't understand it.
I've spent many a day in the Radiation area assuring newbs that it doesn't hurt, that it isn't scary, and that it's very effective. Can you imagine if this lady had gotten hold of one of THEM? They'd have run screaming from Ironwood.
Well, anywho, the CT is now history, and I get the really fun part, waiting for someone to tell me the results. Think positive thoughts, Tequila. Go play World of Warcraft...
Hugs to all!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Off to get the CT...
.. to see if Evil Tumor has gotten smaller, and see if the lymph nodes are controlled. Now, when I say it's freezing outside, I am, for once, not exaggerating: It's 31!!!! Holy moses, isn't this still Autumn?
One of the 'thrills' about dealing with cancer are the tests and getting the results. This CT's results are very important to me. I don't want to dwell on things that are non-positive, especially since the test is in an hour, and I'd rather face it with positive vibes. But, I think you can guess the negative aspects of what the results could be.
On the other hand, I'd like to see Evil Tumor has shrunk and his companions are no more. I still don't want that damned surgery, though.
I would kill for coffee right now, but no food or drink before the CT. Cooooooffffeeeeeeeeee. Yes, I am losing it. Well, it's early! And, and... it's COLD! Oh dear, I hope my lemon tree survived.
Well, see you all later. Think positive thoughts!
One of the 'thrills' about dealing with cancer are the tests and getting the results. This CT's results are very important to me. I don't want to dwell on things that are non-positive, especially since the test is in an hour, and I'd rather face it with positive vibes. But, I think you can guess the negative aspects of what the results could be.
On the other hand, I'd like to see Evil Tumor has shrunk and his companions are no more. I still don't want that damned surgery, though.
I would kill for coffee right now, but no food or drink before the CT. Cooooooffffeeeeeeeeee. Yes, I am losing it. Well, it's early! And, and... it's COLD! Oh dear, I hope my lemon tree survived.
Well, see you all later. Think positive thoughts!
Monday, November 29, 2010
To Heat, or not to Heat
Last year we never turned on our heat pump. Arizona is a little different when it comes to utilities; we spend most of our utilities budget on cooling the house down, rather than heating it up. In this household, we try to keep electric use to a minimum during the winter so that we can afford to cool the house in the summer.
Currently, in my bedroom, the temperature is 64.4. While this might seem lovely to many, it's a bit nippy for me. :) But, I have a sweater on over my pajamas, as I sit here at my computer, sipping really yummy hot coffee. Outside, it is currently 36 degrees. It was a very chilly night.
The point is that for us, it's simply easier to wrap up, put on more blankets, or more clothes and be warmed in the winter. In the summer, you can only take OFF so many things before your neighbors call the Police. Besides, don't we all sleep better when there is a bit of a chill in the house? Kind of like a hibernation switch flips on; you cuddle under the blankets, and BOOM!... you sleep.
Oh, and lest we forget, we have furry insulation devices here. For me, it's Cisco and Quito. Though both are so old now, I have to PUT them up on the bed, boy, do those chihuahuas give off some heat! And they are soft and cuddly to boot!
So, unless it really gets like Arctic cold here, I guess I have answered my question; no heat!
Currently, in my bedroom, the temperature is 64.4. While this might seem lovely to many, it's a bit nippy for me. :) But, I have a sweater on over my pajamas, as I sit here at my computer, sipping really yummy hot coffee. Outside, it is currently 36 degrees. It was a very chilly night.
The point is that for us, it's simply easier to wrap up, put on more blankets, or more clothes and be warmed in the winter. In the summer, you can only take OFF so many things before your neighbors call the Police. Besides, don't we all sleep better when there is a bit of a chill in the house? Kind of like a hibernation switch flips on; you cuddle under the blankets, and BOOM!... you sleep.
Oh, and lest we forget, we have furry insulation devices here. For me, it's Cisco and Quito. Though both are so old now, I have to PUT them up on the bed, boy, do those chihuahuas give off some heat! And they are soft and cuddly to boot!
So, unless it really gets like Arctic cold here, I guess I have answered my question; no heat!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Everything Old is New Again
...well, at least in the World Of Warcraft. And that's why I didn't post yesterday, because I was far too busy having FUN! I never once thought about chemo or radiation, or impending doom, or anything like that.
This is Aicarumba, my Troll Druid. Ok, not the prettiest of cats, and I don't actually play her in cat form, but this is the only picture I have of her so far.
But, here's the thing; being the realist that I am, I called Blizzard, the makers of World of Warcraft, and asked about transferring the ownership of my accounts after I am gone. The reason I asked is that I have a TON of stuff that will benefit the rest of my family. It would need to be either sold or transferred. The Blizzard guy said that the family member would just need to send a copy of the death certificate, and then they would transfer the ownership of the account. Apparently this does happen, and so they are prepared. And now, so are we. :)
Who knew you'd have to think about your on-line persona as well as your human self? And there is COPD International. I have made some friends on their bulletin board, and they too have a process for notification. You sign up for the Keep in Touch program, and in the event you suddenly stop posting, or someone says, 'Hey, anyone heard from Tequila, lately?' ... they will call the number you provided to get status. It's a great service, and one the board administrators have had to use from time to time. But at least it lets people KNOW.
Tomorrow it's back to the old grind... no, not work, darnit, rather my 'other' career of being a cancer patient. Tomorrow is radiation 21, then on Tuesday I have my CT with Contrast to check my progress. Let's hope those two random lymph nodes are either cancer-free, or they haven't added any friends to the group. And maybe the main tumor will have shrunk a bit. Please.
And radiation is still on for Tuesday-Friday, but Wednesday I have to hit the lab and see how my blood counts are going, and Thursday is of course, Chemo. :) So, that's my grind, and really, it's not that bad.
Our Winter Solstice tree is up in the library. I found a skinny silvery pre-lit tree, listed as 'whimsical,' but I think it's beautiful. Jane wanted to know what kind of ornaments I wanted on it, but I like it bare, with just the lights. It's simple, clean and gorgeous. It provides a warm ambiance in the library; festive, too... at least to me. :D
For lunch, I'm looking forward to some of the Turkey Vegetable soup we made for dinner yesterday. I adore soup; I could eat soup every meal, every day. But of course, I only love soup that my sisters and I MAKE, none of that canned liquid sodium. I think it's a good sign that I am looking forward to lunch and it's only 9:16 AM. ;)
Well, all, keep warm, stay safe and don't forget to give someone a hug today.
But, here's the thing; being the realist that I am, I called Blizzard, the makers of World of Warcraft, and asked about transferring the ownership of my accounts after I am gone. The reason I asked is that I have a TON of stuff that will benefit the rest of my family. It would need to be either sold or transferred. The Blizzard guy said that the family member would just need to send a copy of the death certificate, and then they would transfer the ownership of the account. Apparently this does happen, and so they are prepared. And now, so are we. :)
Who knew you'd have to think about your on-line persona as well as your human self? And there is COPD International. I have made some friends on their bulletin board, and they too have a process for notification. You sign up for the Keep in Touch program, and in the event you suddenly stop posting, or someone says, 'Hey, anyone heard from Tequila, lately?' ... they will call the number you provided to get status. It's a great service, and one the board administrators have had to use from time to time. But at least it lets people KNOW.
Tomorrow it's back to the old grind... no, not work, darnit, rather my 'other' career of being a cancer patient. Tomorrow is radiation 21, then on Tuesday I have my CT with Contrast to check my progress. Let's hope those two random lymph nodes are either cancer-free, or they haven't added any friends to the group. And maybe the main tumor will have shrunk a bit. Please.
And radiation is still on for Tuesday-Friday, but Wednesday I have to hit the lab and see how my blood counts are going, and Thursday is of course, Chemo. :) So, that's my grind, and really, it's not that bad.
Our Winter Solstice tree is up in the library. I found a skinny silvery pre-lit tree, listed as 'whimsical,' but I think it's beautiful. Jane wanted to know what kind of ornaments I wanted on it, but I like it bare, with just the lights. It's simple, clean and gorgeous. It provides a warm ambiance in the library; festive, too... at least to me. :D
For lunch, I'm looking forward to some of the Turkey Vegetable soup we made for dinner yesterday. I adore soup; I could eat soup every meal, every day. But of course, I only love soup that my sisters and I MAKE, none of that canned liquid sodium. I think it's a good sign that I am looking forward to lunch and it's only 9:16 AM. ;)
Well, all, keep warm, stay safe and don't forget to give someone a hug today.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Post-turkey day rundown.
Well, run down.... yeah that's me, but it was very much worth it. I discovered that veggies were much easier to chop if I sat at my kitchen table and did it. I also discovered that Parsnips are not bad, roasted. I don't think I've ever eaten them before. The roasted veggie salad was a hit.
My two neighbors brought little pumpkin and cream cheese tartlets. They were the size of two bites, so they were perfect! They also brought the same sized pecan pies. If you had one of each you were set.
We actually ended up making two corn breads, one with the jalapenos and one without, which was good. Hey, it turns out that Helen, one of the neighbors is 89! This lady is amazing, and a great neighbor, too.
My sister-in-law, Jackie and my niece Alaina brought their own Tofurkey, but got lots of the trimmings as well. They are vegetarians, and thus I left the BACON off the roasted veggies salad. :D Jackie says there is such a thing as Fakeon, or something like that, but... oh no... me love BACON! And, I found out this morning, they brought PIE! A chocolate silk pie, and I never even saw it. OK, you two, get back here and have some!
Although the food was great, the best part was a congenial meal with sisters, and friends; people who have a strong regard for each other, and too, my favorite thing, great conversation. We reminisced about Mom; she and Helen used to do a lot of things together, like go out to lunch to Mata's for Mexican food, especially the Margaritas. :D
Helen said that Mom was very proud of me. You know, I knew it, but she never said it. You all, TELL PEOPLE when you are proud of them. TELL PEOPLE when you love them. TELL PEOPLE when you find them charming, or considerate, or kind. Don't NOT say it out loud. Don't be afraid to tell them. Don't let them wonder.
Anywho, I am now wrapped head-to-toe in the knitted goodies that Julie has made for me. Oh boy have they come in handy. I think we must be heading for a new Ice Age, and it's starting here in Arizona. Dang! It's COLD!
Well, hugs to all, and keep warm and safe and don't forget to be kind every day.
My two neighbors brought little pumpkin and cream cheese tartlets. They were the size of two bites, so they were perfect! They also brought the same sized pecan pies. If you had one of each you were set.
We actually ended up making two corn breads, one with the jalapenos and one without, which was good. Hey, it turns out that Helen, one of the neighbors is 89! This lady is amazing, and a great neighbor, too.
My sister-in-law, Jackie and my niece Alaina brought their own Tofurkey, but got lots of the trimmings as well. They are vegetarians, and thus I left the BACON off the roasted veggies salad. :D Jackie says there is such a thing as Fakeon, or something like that, but... oh no... me love BACON! And, I found out this morning, they brought PIE! A chocolate silk pie, and I never even saw it. OK, you two, get back here and have some!
Although the food was great, the best part was a congenial meal with sisters, and friends; people who have a strong regard for each other, and too, my favorite thing, great conversation. We reminisced about Mom; she and Helen used to do a lot of things together, like go out to lunch to Mata's for Mexican food, especially the Margaritas. :D
Helen said that Mom was very proud of me. You know, I knew it, but she never said it. You all, TELL PEOPLE when you are proud of them. TELL PEOPLE when you love them. TELL PEOPLE when you find them charming, or considerate, or kind. Don't NOT say it out loud. Don't be afraid to tell them. Don't let them wonder.
Anywho, I am now wrapped head-to-toe in the knitted goodies that Julie has made for me. Oh boy have they come in handy. I think we must be heading for a new Ice Age, and it's starting here in Arizona. Dang! It's COLD!
Well, hugs to all, and keep warm and safe and don't forget to be kind every day.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving!
With bright sunshine and cool temperatures, the Arizona desert gives me much for which to be thankful: Fresh citrus fruits, fragrant verbena, cactus wrens, ravens, great horned owls, bougainvillea and hibiscus, and occasionally, clean air!
I am especially thankful to have a wonderful, supportive and loving family. I could not do this cancer without you all. When I have no appetite you tempt me with morsels no sane person could resist. When I'm cold, you make me warm, knitted goodies to cover my mangy-looking head. :D
I have eight more radiations to go, for this round. I think I have four more chemos, also.. for this round. I don't kid myself that once this batch is done, I'll be good and not need any more. Still, you know this is a small price to pay if I get another year or maybe more. I am still hoping to return to work. Perhaps once we're down to just a weekly Herceptin infusion, I can do it. But, that's up to my wonderful oncology doctors, and yes, I am VERY thankful for both Dr. Fastenberg and Dr. Tsai. How lucky I am that I once had a blood clot and Dr. Fastenbuerg was called in to consult. I don't think I could go through this without such an amazing oncologist.
And the entire staff at Ironwood Cancer and Research Center; how you all do this every day, with smiles and great care and kindness... simply awesome. I might be wheeling myself down a hall towards radiation, when no matter who I pass, eye-contact is made and a smile is given. It might be a small thing, but you can't know how much that smile means to all of us patients. It means we matter, that despite our illness, someone cares and understands we are HUMANS.
The veggies have been roasted for the salad; butternut squash, parsnips, Anaheim chilies (wasn't in the recipe, but .. hehe, you know... gotta be true to the heritage), garlic, red onions, spritzed with olive oil. Later, I'll wilt some spinach, toss with the roasted veggies, dress with sun dried tomato vinaigrette, and then top with pine nuts. Yum.
Also just popped the jalapeno corn bread in the oven. Cathy and Jane are out working on the bird, which has to be in the oven by 11AM. We'll have a relatively early dinner just in case anyone needs to go elsewhere for another get-together.
And now, time to go check that cornbread, and get something else to drink besides coffee. I'm HORRIBLE at keeping myself hydrated. I have bad (coffee) hydration habits.
Happy Thanksgiving to all, be safe, be happy and enjoy life!
I am especially thankful to have a wonderful, supportive and loving family. I could not do this cancer without you all. When I have no appetite you tempt me with morsels no sane person could resist. When I'm cold, you make me warm, knitted goodies to cover my mangy-looking head. :D
I have eight more radiations to go, for this round. I think I have four more chemos, also.. for this round. I don't kid myself that once this batch is done, I'll be good and not need any more. Still, you know this is a small price to pay if I get another year or maybe more. I am still hoping to return to work. Perhaps once we're down to just a weekly Herceptin infusion, I can do it. But, that's up to my wonderful oncology doctors, and yes, I am VERY thankful for both Dr. Fastenberg and Dr. Tsai. How lucky I am that I once had a blood clot and Dr. Fastenbuerg was called in to consult. I don't think I could go through this without such an amazing oncologist.
And the entire staff at Ironwood Cancer and Research Center; how you all do this every day, with smiles and great care and kindness... simply awesome. I might be wheeling myself down a hall towards radiation, when no matter who I pass, eye-contact is made and a smile is given. It might be a small thing, but you can't know how much that smile means to all of us patients. It means we matter, that despite our illness, someone cares and understands we are HUMANS.
The veggies have been roasted for the salad; butternut squash, parsnips, Anaheim chilies (wasn't in the recipe, but .. hehe, you know... gotta be true to the heritage), garlic, red onions, spritzed with olive oil. Later, I'll wilt some spinach, toss with the roasted veggies, dress with sun dried tomato vinaigrette, and then top with pine nuts. Yum.
Also just popped the jalapeno corn bread in the oven. Cathy and Jane are out working on the bird, which has to be in the oven by 11AM. We'll have a relatively early dinner just in case anyone needs to go elsewhere for another get-together.
And now, time to go check that cornbread, and get something else to drink besides coffee. I'm HORRIBLE at keeping myself hydrated. I have bad (coffee) hydration habits.
Happy Thanksgiving to all, be safe, be happy and enjoy life!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
And now, it's cold!
But don't forget that's Arizona desert cold.... tomorrow's high is supposed to be 59! Ai carumba! Oh well, at least we don't have to leave the house. Yes, I know, I am SO wimpy when it comes to cold. :)
The World of Warcraft had its shattering yesterday, and I made a Troll Druid. I love druids; I'll be trying a different tactic with this one, though. But how the world of Azeroth has changed! It's almost a totally different game from the one my family started playing almost five years ago. It's given new life to the game; Nancy was up until Midnight playing Vacasanta, her new Tauren Paladin. I didn't last that long.
So, it will be interesting, seeing how the world of Azeroth has changed, and taking a youngster through it all again.
Today is Radiation 20. Wow... and yes, radiation is very tough on your body. I'm always exhausted, now. But I try hard to eat plenty of protein, and I drink my Glucerna supplements, which has a goodly amount of protein in it. The esophagus is definitely fried. It's hard to describe it, but it's almost like you're getting acid reflux; it burns, but not constantly, although it does wake me up several times a night.
Nobody has called from Ironwood to schedule the CT with contrast that is supposed to be done on the 30th. Dr. F will chide them most severely if they don't get it done. I adore that guy. :)
I can't wait for tomorrow's feast. We have two single neighbors coming. Leslie is in her late sixties, and Helen is 87. They have been our friends since we moved into this house in 1992. Both Helen and Leslie would help me watch my mom before my two sisters moved out here with us. They are the definition of true neighbors.
Well, I'm chafing at the bit to go play my new druid, so I'm off. I want to send Hugs, Kisses and LOVE to everyone that reads this blog and also everyone that checks up on me, and makes sure I eat, and cares about my well-being. I am so lucky, so so lucky!
The World of Warcraft had its shattering yesterday, and I made a Troll Druid. I love druids; I'll be trying a different tactic with this one, though. But how the world of Azeroth has changed! It's almost a totally different game from the one my family started playing almost five years ago. It's given new life to the game; Nancy was up until Midnight playing Vacasanta, her new Tauren Paladin. I didn't last that long.
So, it will be interesting, seeing how the world of Azeroth has changed, and taking a youngster through it all again.
Today is Radiation 20. Wow... and yes, radiation is very tough on your body. I'm always exhausted, now. But I try hard to eat plenty of protein, and I drink my Glucerna supplements, which has a goodly amount of protein in it. The esophagus is definitely fried. It's hard to describe it, but it's almost like you're getting acid reflux; it burns, but not constantly, although it does wake me up several times a night.
Nobody has called from Ironwood to schedule the CT with contrast that is supposed to be done on the 30th. Dr. F will chide them most severely if they don't get it done. I adore that guy. :)
I can't wait for tomorrow's feast. We have two single neighbors coming. Leslie is in her late sixties, and Helen is 87. They have been our friends since we moved into this house in 1992. Both Helen and Leslie would help me watch my mom before my two sisters moved out here with us. They are the definition of true neighbors.
Well, I'm chafing at the bit to go play my new druid, so I'm off. I want to send Hugs, Kisses and LOVE to everyone that reads this blog and also everyone that checks up on me, and makes sure I eat, and cares about my well-being. I am so lucky, so so lucky!
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