Friday, November 19, 2010

Radiation done for this week!

Cathy and I just returned from radiation.  One of my radiation buddies, Marie, had her last zap today.  Marie, I'd say, is somewhere in her 80's and cute as a button and sweet as they come.  She also has a great attitude, and always smiles and hugs me when she sees me. 

It's one of the bittersweet parts of being there every day.  I see many of the same people, and watch their progress, and I have to say that for the most part, there is hope and optimism.  Yes, some times you come across someone you just can't be near because they are giving out waves of bitterness, self-loathing and a hatred of the world at large.  Thankfully, those individuals are few and far between.

And, too, I think we all have those days we just aren't taking things as well as we normally do.. and that was my yesterday.  Interestingly enough, I spent time talking to one of the chemo inmates that I moved away from a few weeks ago (diplomatically, of course).  This week, she had a much improved attitude and told me about how much of a pain the 20 mile one way trip was, but that the restaurant patrons where she worked took up a collection to help her pay her transportation costs.  It was a great story, and my opinion of her changed quite drastically in that one day. 

So, I need to remember that we can't all be cancer cheerleaders every single moment.  Yesterday I cried, and that's something I hadn't done since the day the gastro showed me the pictures of the evil tumor.  And even then, I had no idea of the seriousness of the prognosis, nor the true ordeal that was awaiting me.  It was cancer.. and I had beaten it before.  But, alas, this one doesn't get beaten, although I still hold out hope that I can be in that 5% but the lungs are problematic and aren't adding any points in my favor.  Drat. ;)

Now I have two days off, and I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep, enjoy my company, and maybe tonight I'll have a glass of wine.  I'll cuddle up with my two chihuahuas, and have some good dreams.

Love to all... and hugs and kisses, too.

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