Thursday, February 17, 2011

Big Pills

So, these Levaquin are big.  I looked at them and wondered with a bit of trepidation if they would actually get past my tumor, and make it into my stomach.  Luckily, all went well.  Phew!  And despite the prednisone, I've had no appetite today.  In fact, I lost another five pounds.  Poor Jane is turning into a frazzled wreck trying to get me to eat.  I did have a hamburger, almost all of it.  Whole wheat bun, cowboy burger from Sprouts and a piece of pepper jack cheese.  It was good!

I never was one to embellish my burgers or hot dogs.  Oh I know, hot dogs are evil, processed, and mostly worthless meat product, filled with ... fillers... and fats and gods know what else.  Thus, I rarely eat them, but when I do, I want the dog and a bun.  Minimalist.

Now, if I can sleep tonight, I know I'll feel better, especially mentally.  Let me tell you, even before this esophageal cancer came along, any time I would get a respiratory infection or the like, I would get scared that it would turn to pneumonia and with my crappy lungs, that would be the end.  So, imagine if you will the stress of not being able to breathe well, worrying about huge pills, prednisone, cancer and the fear of pneumonia.  I think I was even stressing out my dogs. :D

Yet, it's another day, and I have to remember that I do better when I live in the moment.  Stop anticipating the worst, Tequila, and appreciate all the awesome gifts of the NOW.  Yep, just have to remind myself of that now and again, and it sets me back on track.  Yes, this illness is a setback, and has the possibility of reducing my lung function a bit more, but today, I am listening to John Williams' score to "Memoirs of a Geisha," playing a little World of Warcraft, and I had most of a hamburger.  That's pretty darned good!

Love to all!

5 comments:

  1. And remember that a ton of people are loving on you in various ways.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's the problem with fear, it hides the facts from you sometimes. Thankfully, I have people like you two that help remind me.

    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tequila, how are you doing? Sending lots of prayers...
    Emily from copd-int

    ReplyDelete
  4. Girl, come on, if you are gonna have a dog you gotta have all the crap on it, sheesh.
    fay in the family room

    ReplyDelete

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