Tortilla Soup, Bone Pain and See's Candy

It was another sunny, beautiful day here in paradise.  Got up early, got lots done for work, then headed out to get my Neulasta shot.  One of the nurses asked me if this was my first one, and when I replied in the affirmative, she pointed to her colleague and said, "well, it's her first time giving one!"


And she did a fantastic job.  Barely felt the needle going in, and she injected it very slowly and smoothly to try to mitigate the fact that it can sting quite a bit.  The effects of yesterday's chemo session were not horrible, but as the day progressed, I was feeling alternately hot and cold, and a bit achy.  Now I can feel the effects of the shot, as my bones are ... ouchy.


But, Jane made me Chicken Tortilla soup for dinner, and my oldest sister, Cee and her husband Bud had sent me a big box of dark chocolate See's Candy.  Both of these edible miracles helped to cancel quite a bit of the discomfort of the day.


Still, I'm exhausted, so I think I'll have a very early night.  And may all of you out there in Blog Land have sweet dreams.

Ai Dios Mio

Five and a half hours.  That's how long this infusion regimen lasts.  But it's only once every three weeks.  I do have to return tomorrow to get a shot of Neulasta to regenerate white blood cells.  I hear this, too, is some pricey stuff.  Joy.

I love this particular purple and white petunia. And the next shot shows the really, really fuschia ones. 

And the row of squashes is really taking off, but no sign of flowering yet.  

Finally, another shot of the black opal basil, and may I say it's looking good, and tastes marvelous!

So, the garden is doing well, and I think I am, too.  Never had a bit of nausea today, even with a triple dose of all the poisons.


Love and hugs to all.  Sweet dreams!

it's chemo time

pardon the lack of capitalization.  i'm typing this on my xoom, and with benadryl on board, capitalization is a pain.

i do like the photo quality on this,though.

well the chemo plan has changed.  we are going back  to taxol and carboplatin, and doing it every three weeks.  of course, that means triple  the dose.  gads.

well, must drink water,and this chemo will be almost five hours long.

ok,will post more later.

May Flowers

The hydrangeas have survived two days in Arizona, although they were looking a little droopy this morning.  A quick application of water had them springing back in shape in no time.


I'm having to watch how I think.  Since my visit with Dr. F on Thursday, I've been catching myself thinking about things in the future, and then reminding myself that I may not be around for that.  I don't want to do this.  I just want to live today, and whatever happens or doesn't... that's fine.  There's no sliding bar hanging over me that says I'm going to die by a specific date and time.  And I'm just not going to be DYING until I actually die.  Until then, baby, I'm LIVING!  So it's just a matter of halting that time-schedule self talk and reprogramming myself back to now.  


Because seriously, what has changed?  Just because they found another cancer doesn't mean I can't control the esophageal AND the adrenal.  The only thing that HAS changed is that I have to do the nasty chemo again, and it'll be done in a few weeks, then I'll be back to 'normal,' until we have to do it again somewhere down the road.  As long as there IS a down the road, it's all golden. :)


I have to take a couple of Decadron tabs the day before, the day of, and the day after chemo.  Back to watching my glucose like a hawk. :D


But back on the flower front, we're seeing some sprouting of the dahlias and the crocosmias.  I can't wait!  Both of these make splendid cutting flowers.  I can have fresh flowers in the house for most of the summer and fall!!


Wendy got me to play a new game:  Deathspank.  Yes, it's a parody of action adventure type games a la Diablo II and Torchlight.  It's hilarious.  Reminds me of "George of the Jungle" type cartoons from my ill-spent youth. :D


Tomorrow it's back to work, telecommuting for a while, at least until this round of chemo is over.  I'll be susceptible to infection again, and anything else that would like to get a foot-hold on my body; like I don't have enough invaders on board. ;)


Tonight, we'll be having a grilled, marinated pork loin, rice and artichoke heart salad and some other veggie choice which shall be made closer to eating time.  Happy Mother's Day to all you breeders out there.  I miss my mother, but she had a good run for most of her life.


Love to all!

YAY for 53!

What an odd number.  I actually think I liked the sound of 52 better, but I like the FACT of 53 a whole HELL of a lot more!  This morning, my sisters gifted me with a most beautiful pendant, made from two perfect peridots that a very sweet friend of mine had given me.


I think it looks like a shooting star.  What it is, though, is a reminder of all the good things in my life, and all the people that love me and care about me, so I am going to wear it every time I have chemo.  It's going to give me strength.


My birthday, today, was quite wonderful on many levels:

• I got here
• I got... hydrangeas!
• I had Mahi Mahi for dinner
• Many people sent me birthday wishes on FB :)
• I felt so very loved today, as I do every day!

So, about those hydrangeas.  They came with the UPS man.  I was stunned, excited, and frankly scared.  I love hydrangeas, but I'm not sure I can keep them alive.  They are definitely NOT going outside.  I wonder if you can grow them in one of those counter top herb growing things?

OH!  We have a tomato and a Jalapeno!  And from the looks of it, Fred will have at least one lemon this year.  I'm so happy!

Yep it was a great day, and as for the future, I'm taking it as it comes.  And I'll be thrilled with every day I get, and that's one hell of a gift, I'm thinking.

Love to all. :)

Well, Poo

I didn't get my infusion of Herceptin today.  It seems Dr. F only got to look at my PET Scan results today.  The mass on my adrenal gland has doubled in size since February.  Not a good thing, that.  


There was a bit of good news in the mix, though.  One of the lymph nodes in my chest has resolved and is no longer an issue.  However, now there is one behind my airway that is involved.  The main 'evil tumor' is just in limbo at the moment, neither growing nor shrinking.  


Tuesday I begin another round of good old toxic chemo.  I'll be taking taxotere and my herceptin will continue.  I'll lose my hair again, which is no loss; I've despaired of it since it grew back anyway. 


I have a call in to work and I'm waiting for them to call me back.  Dr. F thinks I can work around this.  That's good news, actually.  He would not hesitate to tell me if he thought I should stop working.


And, now, may I say that I am VERY disappointed in Pac Man.  That unreliable bastard.  :)


I'm going to go outside and look at my 'farmland' and smell my verbena, and gaze lovingly at my petunias.

Pain in the Neck

Actually, I have a literal pain in my neck.  It only hurts when I cough, or laugh, sometimes when I swallow, and occasionally when I breathe.  When you have cancer, you try hard not to leap to the conclusion that every pain you have is another tumor, or that the cancer has wandered.  I try to tell myself, 'Self, you just had a PET Scan.  If your cancer had spread anymore, the PET would have caught it!"  I'm so happy I have a logical mind.  Too bad I have to keep such a tight rein on the Queen of Neuroses.


Tomorrow is my pre-infusion lab work and then Thursday I will be seeing my Medical Oncologist, Dr. Fastenberg.  I'm sure he's thrilled we finally got that PET Scan done. :)  After I see him, it's off to get my Herceptin infusion.  I was wheezing like crazy today; had lots of breathing treatments.  It's the weather.  I'm allergic to just about every plant on the planet.  Yet, I love them all.  Oh well.  My worst allergic reaction is to Bermuda grass.  Guess what is the most widely-planted and grown grass in the Phoenix Metropolitan area?  But of course! :D


Oh, there are so many things sprouting in the 'farmland' now.  The spinach is up, as are the collard greens.  We've got one tomato coming.  And it's almost time to rig up the shade so my tomato plants don't fry.  It was a warm one today.  That sun of ours can really suck the life out of things.  Then, of course, the wind blows and it gets so dusty you can't see the Superstition Mountains.  But let me tell you, there is no place like this on earth, and though I may sound like I am not a fan of the desert, I adore it here.  We have skies that take your breath away.  (No, not the smog, or the dust!  The beauty!)


Anyway, the pain made me decide to telecommute today instead of going in to the plant.  In order to keep the pain at bay, I'm making old man sounds in my throat, because it hurts so damned much to do a really good COUGH!  And these sounds are annoying me, so I don't even want to expose my poor team mates to it.  Not to mention, it's tiring me out. 


Oh, and the dahlias and crocosmias are planted.  I can't wait until they bloom... I LOVE FLOWERS!!!! 


Well, love to all, and may you have good health and a long life!