Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Cravings

There is danger in having access to just about everything on the face of the planet via the www.  Today I had cupcake cravings.  I don't eat cupcakes, yet I had to stop myself from buying, of all things, a Cupcake Maker.  Seriously, if you have an oven, you already HAVE a cupcake maker; you don't need some silly pink cupcake-shaped, teflon-coated, electricity-hogging waste of space!


But I wanted one.  Yet, I was strong and got past that moment of madness.  Makes me wonder if the Queen of Neuroses has a pal... the Duchess of Dim-wittedness.  Could happen.


Time now to inhale some albuterol.  I see we have an Ozone Health Watch for tomorrow, and we're back up to around 108.  Joy.  Maybe tomorrow I'll crave an Icee or something very cold.  Oooh, snowcones!


I remember last year at this time wishing for cooler weather, which meant that I was hoping time would fly by into Winter.  THIS year, I'm just taking it as it comes.  I'd love cooler weather, but I don't want to wish my life away, either.  Of course, last year at this time, I had no idea I had a freaking monster in my esophagus, either.  That wasn't discovered until the last week of September.


So, yes, it's almost a year that I have survived this cancer.  I think, all things considered, that I am holding up pretty well.  I'd just love to have my life back; you know, work, be as social as I ever was, which wasn't much, but it was better than this feeling of isolation from the rest of humanity.  But it's so hard to leave the house.  It's just tiring!  You know, you have to be presentable, and then there's usually lots of physicality involved, and I'm weak as if, donating blood I gave a gallon of blood instead of a pint. 


Oh sure, the weather is not helping, nor the air lack-of-quality.  But you know, if I had a cupcake, I probably wouldn't mind...STOP THAT!  No cupcakes!  I just had some garlic bread; the last thing I need is more carbs.  Or sugar.  Ummm, cupcakes.  I'm losing it.


But not really, because in ten minutes I'll crave something else like prunes or pistachios, or pumpkin pie, or pickles... and I HATE pickles.  I think I need a nap.


Be well, all, and be thankful for all the love you have in your life, but remember it takes LOVING to earn love in return.

6 comments:

  1. Giiiiiiiirl, WTF, a cupcake maker. Are you sure you do not have a bun in the oven??????? What with all this craving going on, mmm mmm mmm. I laughed out loud when I read that. Actually I have just been to a store here called the Fresh Market and they make the most deeeeeevine, huge cupcakes on the face of the earth. It is so hard to walk past the case on the way to the checkout. I managed though but grabbed a french vanilla loaf cake on the way past, man they are so good, and all baked on site.

    Tomorrow I am off to get my flu shot and this store is right across the road from my doctors office, i can see it from his office window. today i was at my pulmos office which is on the other side of the street, both my doctors offices with this store in the middle and me needing to lose weight, fuhget about it. So needless to say I shall have another trip in there again tomorrow, twice in one week, heaven.

    You sound a little more upbeat today. I am glad about that. I get scared when you are a bit down, not that i blame you one little bit with what you are having to endure. I just like it better when you are being funny.

    anyway luvvie, have a good one today. tomorrow will be better
    fay in the family room

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh and meant to say, I am celebrating an anniversary too. It has been one year this month that we left AZ. My goodness it feels like yesterday we were pulling out of our driveway. We moved into this house in December and that is when I first found you. I was sitting in a freezing basement on a box with my laptop cause that was the only place we had an internet connection, oh how things have changed for both of us.
    Fay

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  3. I just kind of think my whole body chemistry is so off right now, that cravings just happen. HAH, bun in the oven... girl, you have to stop talking about food! :D

    Fay, you'll find my moods are in direct proportion to where I am in the chemo cycle. I'm on my chemo week OFF, now, so I'm starting to feel a bit better, and my mood goes back to my normally cheery self.

    Happy Philly Anniversary! And hugs!
    T

    ReplyDelete
  4. So it is a bit like PMS????? ;D
    Fay

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tequila, I just want to drop by to give you some hugs ((((((((((Tequila))))))))))) and tell you I think you're wonderful. I'd send you a cupcake (or as we call them over here, fairy cakes), but I don't think it'd travel across the Atlantic too well.

    Take care of your lovely self,
    Becky

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hola, Becky! I think Fairy Cakes is a much more colorful name for cupcakes. :)

    As always, thank you for the hugs; they are MUCH appreciated and returned!

    ReplyDelete

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