I’ve been reading a couple of books on coping with cancer
and the feelings, fears and things that go with it. The first one was “Hope in the Face of
Cancer: A Survival Guide for the Journey
You Did Not Choose.” This was a useful book,
but more suited to the newly diagnosed, than someone 14 months into it. But from that book, I found another, “The
Human Side of Cancer: Living With Hope,
Coping with Uncertainty.”
While the first was loaded with religious (and totally
Christian) content, I still found it useful in that I could take the intent and
remove the, for me, invalid references.
So, despite the fact that years ago, I would have flung the book away in
a snit, today, I had the wherewithal to actually see the meaning behind the
words of Christendom.
This second book, which I am now reading, is written by a
Psychiatric Oncologist, who understands that you have to treat the entire
person, not just the body. We all have
fears, and stressors, and we can’t be upbeat 24 hours a day. There are times you just wonder how the hell
you got here, how is this now your life???
In 2003 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was
in such an early stage that I sailed to recovery, and I’ve been breast cancer
free since then. But here, I seem to get
new tumors every time we do a scan. Is
it disheartening.. oh heck yes! But I
don’t want spend my time lamenting my fate.
I want to read, listen to music, paint, draw, play World of Warcraft,
and Diablo III, if it comes out while I still live.
I guess there is no more place of bliss than normalcy,
whatever that might be for each of us.
I’d love to get back to normalcy, but now, THIS pseudo-life IS my
normalcy. It sucks, but you deal, and
you cling to what gives you pleasure. I
write. It helps me make some sense of
some of this, and when it doesn’t, at least it gives me an outlet to vent. And hopefully, I can make someone else’s
journey through this morass a little easier.
Love and hugs to all.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I don't know who said that, but I say, my friend, you can really dance. Love you so much, Julie C.
ReplyDeleteLove the quote, Julie, and I love you to bits, too! Hey, I haven't yet killed the orchids! I'm so proud! :-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, it is funny how a really crappy situation can become your 'new normal' very quickly. It is amazing how we adapt, I guess it is a survival thing.
ReplyDeleteMy life now with emphysema is so far from what it was just a few short years ago, it is like night and day. I mourn it sometimes, but have to get on with things, this is the norm now.
That old chestnut, "if you do not have your health, you have nothing" is so true. Good health is beyond compare.
Keep fighting girlfriend, life is worth fighting for, even if it is not the norm you are used to.
Fay in the family room