I am sitting here on my La-Z_Boy recliner, and may I say it is THE most comfortable sitting surface I own. If you want to see it, it's a Carlyle recliner. It was pricey, but oh so worth every penney.
Anywho, I have lots of time to think these days. My hospice nurse would love to see me take a trip, but it's so problematic hauling all themedical equipment around. And I'm just talking for the lung disease, never mind the cancer. And then I think why lug it all around? If you are really ready to die, do you need it? Well that's a damned fine question. I don't think it behooves me to HASTEN my death, and besides, the point of this blog now is to describe the the facets of experience in light of a waning life.
I don't want to fear it and I don't want my readers to fear it. It's such a natural progression on our journey' and everyone we have ever loved, encountered, and been annoyed by has taken it. And I can't imagine that any deity or deities that had a hand in our creation would simply abandon us at this end point.
Perhaps I just think this to give myself comfort, but I have seen those that wait for me, and they tell me I have time yet. Maybe it won't be the most pleasant of times going forward, but I WILL be going forward!
LOVE, HUGS, AND BLESSINGS TO ALL.
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Oh geeze Tequila. This is such a hard subject to talk about, especially to one who is actively doing it.
ReplyDeleteI so wanted to talk to my sis when I went home to prepare for her death. Unfortunatley the hospital personnel in their wisdom had knocked her out. There were only 2 small occasions in the 8 days I spent with her in hospital that we were able to converse for a couple of minutes. There was so much I wanted to tell her, most of it she already knew. She knew I was there and she knew who I was. There were a lot of other "people" there too.
I too believe that all is not lost at the end. I think there is somewhere wonderful that we go and that someone will come to take us there. I know my sis had many conversations with only people that she could see. It gave me a bit of comfort to know that they were there helping her over. My sis and I were very close. We used to complete each others sentences. She believed in an afterlife and I hope she got to go there.
After being with her, I am not afraid of death anymore. I am only afraid of the way I shall die, but dying in itself seems so easy.
I am so glad you can talk about this. It is hard trying to tiptoe around someone incase you upset them. Everyone it seems does it differently, just like they way they live, we each have our own way of doing things.
I remember talking to the nurse on duty that day. She took me aside and said that there was a multitude of people in the room with us. I like to think that is true, that they came to help her when it was time, oh how I hope that was true.
Anyway sweetie, that time is not right now, so maybe a trip would be good. Although having said that, I love to go to new places, but hate the journey there and back, I think it has something to do with spending 25 years in the military and moving on average every 2 years, it gets so old. So most times I just stay at home, too much hassle nowadays. Whatever floats your boat though.
Take it easy girl. I so look forward to your posts. I know I just witter on sometimes, but I have a lot to say. Maybe it is good that we will not meet in person, I would prolly wear you out sweetie.
Ok, going now
fay in the family room