YAY for Weekends!

Now that I'm back among the working, I'm finding a renewed joy in the Weekend.  These two days that while on three months medical leave seemed so mundane, so much like all the rest, except for not having to get fried on them, have now become as precious as gold. :)

Well, perhaps that's a tad dramatic, but here I sit with my cup of hot coffee, and no reason to leave the house, or try to do something to my mangy crop of hair, the three that are left, or even coordinate an outfit.  I'm in sweat pants and shirt.  HAH!  Well, yes, they DO coordinate....life is good.

I've always wanted a pair of FitFlop sandals.  FootSmart sends me catalogs all the time and they just look so comfy.  Of course sandals are not really a good choice at this time, so I just gaze longingly at them, and then move along.

And then, the demon that is Amazon.com showed me FitFlop CLOGS!  For many years now, I've been going between Birkenstocks, Sketchers, and yes, I confess, a multitude of colors of Crocs.  Oh believe me, in my day, I adored high heels; nothing made my legs look more amazing, but once I started to lose my lung function, and walking became harder and harder, they had to go. 

So, anyway, I'm sitting here, sipping my coffee, wearing sweats and ... my new FitFlop Clogs!  They did get trapped in Indiana in the snow for a couple of days, but they are here now, and I love 'em!  And no, I didn't pay for them in Pounds Sterling. :D

They do something strange to your stride, though, and that takes some getting used to, but they fit very well, look great and feel wonderful.  Maybe this summer I will get some sandals.

Now I have a duty to perform; find a good recipe for a nice dinner.  So, I am off to research recipes.  Keep warm, all, and love to EVERYONE!

And my visitors are off...

I just wished Wendy and Dean a safe trip back to glorious, snowy Ohio.  I hope they enjoyed their visit as much as I loved seeing them. :)

My asthma woke me up around 5:30ish, so I just got up and hit my nebulizer, and then, as is my wont when awake at weird hours, I went shopping.  Amazon is my friend.  I only got a downloadable casual game to help while away the hours of non-sleep.  You see, usually after I use my nebulized albuterol, I am a bit too wired for sound, so no sleep for me.

I am currently sipping on a Gevalia Caramel Macchiato, which was produced by my Tassimo beverage center.  I love that puppy.  Anyway, this Caramel Macchiato is not all sweet and gooey like the ones prepared at coffee houses.  I do not like sweet coffee.  I like my coffee to taste like coffee.

Just to let my sister, Cee, know... the See's candy was a huge hit this weekend with my home denizens and my visitors alike.  Wendy found every piece that could possibly have an almond in it. :)

And speaking of Wendy, Jane wanted her to make some shortbread this weekend, and that she did.  She'd found a recipe that used Earl Grey tea, which laced the shortbread with a hint of bergamot flavor.  Holy moley, it was so good... SO GOOD!

We sent our visitors off with a good breakfast of veggie-laden scrambled eggs and nice, crispy bacon and toast.  Actually Dean was our bacon chef, as he showed us the best way to make microwave bacon.  I liked mine... not all greasy, just crisp.  Yum.

Now it is almost 11 AM, and I am getting tired, so I think I might go take a quick nap.  On the agenda for this week:  Echocardiogram on Tuesday and my chemo on Thursday.  Not such a tough week.  Oh, and I think the burning is starting to dissipate a bit, so perhaps the healing has begun.  I hope so. :D

Love to all!

Off to get the CT...

.. to see if Evil Tumor has gotten smaller, and see if the lymph nodes are controlled.  Now, when I say it's freezing outside, I am, for once, not exaggerating:  It's 31!!!!  Holy moses, isn't this still Autumn?

One of the 'thrills' about dealing with cancer are the tests and getting the results.  This CT's results are very important to me.  I don't want to dwell on things that are non-positive, especially since the test is in an hour, and I'd rather face it with positive vibes.  But, I think you can guess the negative aspects of what the results could be.

On the other hand, I'd like to see Evil Tumor has shrunk and his companions are no more.  I still don't want that damned surgery, though. 

I would kill for coffee right now, but no food or drink before the CT.  Cooooooffffeeeeeeeeee.  Yes, I am losing it.  Well, it's early!  And, and... it's COLD!  Oh dear, I hope my lemon tree survived. 

Well, see you all later.  Think positive thoughts!

Today I Cried...

...and I'm not sure why.  Dr. F didn't say anything I didn't already know, but somehow it just hit me today, that I am not going to survive this.  I think it's the first time someone has actually stated out loud that I am Stage IV.  Maybe when he mentioned finding a good surgeon, I got really scared.  Dr. F already told me surgery would kill me.  I reminded him of this and he said yeah, it probably would but we should cover our bases.  He also said he's probably going to have me do a MUGA scan, to check for any damage from the Herceptin.


I may not have lots years before me, and I cannot be cured, but what I can do is prolong my life, and enjoy all the important things, like loving my sisters and my friends.  And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let me tell you all the wonderful points in my life, and definitely not in any particular order:

• Drinking good coffee... I know, I've waxed poetic about coffee already, so I won't bore you with my love the brew.
• My amazing sisters:  Jane, Wendy, Nancy and Cathy.  They take care of me so well.  May you always love each other and have patience.
• My weird and wonderful family
• Pete, my deceased brother... don't mind me working so hard to not be with you again, too soon. 
• Cee, my Reverend Sister.  She calls and checks up on me a lot.  You'll see the Lake Havasu visitor on my blog... that's my sis!
• Pico, I may never understand, but I love you, and I know you'll be there, too, with Pete,... probably doing Motocross.
• Jes, you eat right, enjoy the music and be happy.
• Sam, hang in there, woman.  Just love your family and remember to find appreciation for something each day.
• All my nieces, nephews, inlaws, .... we must hold tight and never stop loving each other.  Distances be damned... we have Facebook!
• Sweet Chihuahuas.. and even the ones that aren't so sweet... Argo.
• Health insurance! :D

Obviously there are tons more, but the Benadryl is kicking in and I'm getting all looooopy.

Do me a favor, kiss someone you love, but haven't kissed in a while. 

Tired, tired, tired...

It really amazes me how 40 seconds of being zapped by radiation, five times a week, can make you feel weak as a kitten.  Some days, I'll go outside to get the mail, if I see our postal person our there, and it feels like I have to go miles across the desert to get there.  But believe me, I want to walk; I want to stay up on my feet and push and not let this weakness bring me down.  And, not to worry, it won't... I'm far too ornery. ;)

Isn't coffee a wonderful pleasure?  I think back to my parents, and when I say that, you should know that I had three;  Mom, Dad, and my mom's sister, Auntie, who had always lived with us.  There was always coffee in the house.  Of course we children were not interested, nor would we be given any.  Oh sure, with eight of us, wouldn't it be great if we were caffeine'd up?  Gods forbid.

Not sure when I picked up the love of coffee.  I drink mine black, for the most part. As did my parents, as Dad was diabetic, and Mom was diagnosed, too, many years later.  We didn't, in fact, have much sugar at all in our lives, except for Halloween or when my dad's sisters Charlotte and Cecilia gave us all our Easter Baskets.  Oooh, See's Candy eggs.... great memories there.

Coffee just tastes good to me.  Wendy, on the other hand, never developed the taste for it.  In this house Jane and I can drink coffee all day.  I've been known to get up, have a cup of coffee, and then go back to sleep.  Mom was the same way.  I wonder if we become caffeine resistant.

Today is radiation number 14.  Is it weird that I am counting them?  I think I count them because of all the warnings I have had of the cumulative effect of them, and so far, I'm doing pretty well, and you'd think after thirteen of them, I might be having pain, irritation, etc.  Thankfully, I'm not; at least not enough to worry about.

I saw the Radiation Oncologist following my zap yesterday, and she was delighted with my appearance, my lungs and my progress... and remember, we LIKE it when she's happy. :D  I just don't know enough about this progression to understand what's good and what's not good, but Dr T certainly does.  I have great respect for her.  So if she's happy, so am I!

Had to do some bedroom re-arranging yesterday.  My NuStep got moved over toward my closet so that I could steal the Poang chair and ottoman from Cathy's room.  Gosh, this thing is so comfortable.  When I get tired, I sit there and shuffle through the seventy zillion cable channels, and usually find nothing I want to watch.  But, I cuddle up there with Lindsay's and Sandi's quilt and revel in that softness.  I am spoiled. ;)

Well, I think I'll go try to play some World of Warcraft for a bit.  I hear all the major cities are under attack, so I must go defend my homeland.  Zug Zug!