I Love Fall

I think Fall is by far my favorite season.  Even here, we have leaves changing colors; certainly not as showy and impressive as over in New England, but it's here, nonetheless.


Today, I'll be heading off to see the oncologist at 1PM, then if all is well with my labs, I can have my Camptosar infusion.  How amazing that after being so skittish in the beginning of this treatment regimen, now, I WANT it!  Doesn't matter that it makes me nauseated; it's saving my life, and I want it.  Oooh, that sounds like a three-year-old, doesn't it?  I WANT IT!  :D


On the other hand, this means the beginning of my Xeloda cycle, too.  You know, I'm exceedingly lucky, because other than the nausea, I'm not getting the more harsh side effects from these two chemo drugs.  Oh well, yes, there IS that little problem with blood clots, but I was lucky there, too!  That Pulmonary Embolism was found before it killed me.  That's luck!


But perhaps, luck has nothing to do with it.  I know I have so many supporters out there; family, friends, even strangers I have never physically met.  With all those prayers, good mojo, best wishes and love, you know that HAS to play a part in my so-called 'luck.'  And I am most appreciative of every bit of support that comes my way.


Our house is now decorated for Halloween.  We have a HORRIBLE giant spider on the front porch, and his web is full of plastic cockroaches.  I kinda helped out yesterday, putting cockroaches in the web, but frankly, they kept sliding and looked FAR too real for my taste, but in the spirit of the season, they are perfect.


Jane made another batch of cupcakes yesterday with my favorite Chocolate Cream Cheese frosting, but instead of cocoa powder, which we didn't have, we used Mexican Chocolate... with cinnamon.  Holy carp, these cupcakes are to die for.  And if I eat too many, I will. :)  The cake part is spice cake, too, so believe me, the Mexican in us is VERY happy with these cupcakes.


So that's it for this post.  All is well, and if anything comes up at the oncologist today, I'll let you all know.


Love, hugs and kisses, too!

Cravings

There is danger in having access to just about everything on the face of the planet via the www.  Today I had cupcake cravings.  I don't eat cupcakes, yet I had to stop myself from buying, of all things, a Cupcake Maker.  Seriously, if you have an oven, you already HAVE a cupcake maker; you don't need some silly pink cupcake-shaped, teflon-coated, electricity-hogging waste of space!


But I wanted one.  Yet, I was strong and got past that moment of madness.  Makes me wonder if the Queen of Neuroses has a pal... the Duchess of Dim-wittedness.  Could happen.


Time now to inhale some albuterol.  I see we have an Ozone Health Watch for tomorrow, and we're back up to around 108.  Joy.  Maybe tomorrow I'll crave an Icee or something very cold.  Oooh, snowcones!


I remember last year at this time wishing for cooler weather, which meant that I was hoping time would fly by into Winter.  THIS year, I'm just taking it as it comes.  I'd love cooler weather, but I don't want to wish my life away, either.  Of course, last year at this time, I had no idea I had a freaking monster in my esophagus, either.  That wasn't discovered until the last week of September.


So, yes, it's almost a year that I have survived this cancer.  I think, all things considered, that I am holding up pretty well.  I'd just love to have my life back; you know, work, be as social as I ever was, which wasn't much, but it was better than this feeling of isolation from the rest of humanity.  But it's so hard to leave the house.  It's just tiring!  You know, you have to be presentable, and then there's usually lots of physicality involved, and I'm weak as if, donating blood I gave a gallon of blood instead of a pint. 


Oh sure, the weather is not helping, nor the air lack-of-quality.  But you know, if I had a cupcake, I probably wouldn't mind...STOP THAT!  No cupcakes!  I just had some garlic bread; the last thing I need is more carbs.  Or sugar.  Ummm, cupcakes.  I'm losing it.


But not really, because in ten minutes I'll crave something else like prunes or pistachios, or pumpkin pie, or pickles... and I HATE pickles.  I think I need a nap.


Be well, all, and be thankful for all the love you have in your life, but remember it takes LOVING to earn love in return.