Sleepy... so sleepy!

Here I am, in the fifth round of my Camptosar/Xeloda clinical trial.  Apparently, this is the sleeeeepy phase.  All I want to do is sleep.  And believe me, if I lie down, I sleep.  I can sleep 20 hours a day right now.  But, I am trying to stay upright more than 4 hours at a time. :)


Dr. Fastenberg did warn me that the fatigue would be a cumulative effect of this regimen.  Because it's Saturday, I only have a few more days of the Xeloda then I get my week off.  YAY for the week off!


Outside, the sun is shining brightly and my bougainvillea and hibiscus are spreading colorful cheer all over the place.  We have some parts of the back garden that need a good clean up after the past week of storms, hail, lightning, and dust storms.  The gazebo over the spa needs to come down.  Besides, the Indian Rosewood tree is now providing ample shade, and looks glorious, too!


Jane's going to make one of my favorite dinners tonight: chicken, rice and spinach.  I don't know why I love rice and spinach so much, but of course, it has to be the RIGHT rice; whole grain red, brown, some rye, some barley.  I guess it's more of a rice and grain mixture, rather than plain rice.  


Tomorrow, my Chicago family, Jon and Michelle, are going to join us in a dungeon run.  I may not make it, if I am very tired, but we have enough of us to make it doable.  Wendy will be there; if there is one thing that playing World of Warcraft does for us, it helps keep our family members connected, even though they are across the country.  Where it's cold.  I want some cold!  :D


So, fatigue is the explanation for why I haven't posted on the blog in a while.  But I am doing well, so no worries.  Everyone tells me I look great, that I don't look sick... well, except for the weird hair.  And that reminds me.... NANCY!  Get out the dog clippers!


Hugs and love to all!

Can *I* do Six Rounds?

This is getting harder with every round of chemo.  I want to be one of the 30ish % that can make it through six rounds of this, but I am finishing up round four and I am sick as the proverbial dog.


My legs are swelling up, my hands and feet feel creepy, and I can't begin to tell you how nauseated I am.  But, tomorrow is my last day of chemo week ON, and I hope I can begin to feel better.  


I slept a bit this afternoon; I'm so tired, and so weak.  I guess tomorrow I had better start hitting the Lasix so I can keep the edema at bay.  I keep remembering the last time I saw my oldest brother in the hospital, and his legs were HUGELY swollen.  And so were my mom's at the end.  In fact, she got water blisters all over her legs.  Her beautiful legs.  Ok, now I am starting to freak myself out, which means I should probably get to bed before the Queen of Neuroses gets out of bondage and runs rampant through my brain.


Good night, all.  Don't worry, I'll get past this, and I *WILL* do six rounds of this.  For I am, of course, strong like bull.

Odd Day

For quite a bit of the day, I felt really tired, and every time I tried to get up and walk around my house, I got dizzy.  I think it's because I have some sinus issues and I might have screwed up my inner ear.  The tired is more than likely because I didn't sleep well last night; waking every hour or so.


Once I had some dinner, I felt quite a bit better.  We just made Mufulettas, although I couldn't have any fresh veggies on mine due to the risk of bacteria.  OH the things you learn when you have cancer and are doing chemo.  And instead of the tapenade, we used the Mexican Pesto I had made earlier in the week.  We froze what we didn't use in those Chicken Packets. :)  Of course, the bread was whole, multi-grain and very delicious.


Funny, I've been to New Orleans twice, and never had a Mufuletta there.  Got sick from the high humidity and its effect on my lungs, though, and ended up coming back to Arizona and going to the ER both times.  But, I ADORE New Orleans, and if you EVER get the opportunity to visit, please do; you won't regret it.  Ignore those folks from "Top Gear." :D


I need to buy stock in the Kleenex company; I'm running through tissues like crazy.  Drat that fire, and for everyone affected, I keep you in my prayers.  It's so sad to see so much beauty burning away via an act of human destruction.  One can become so distressed at the capacity of humans to be evil, but we can't let ourselves only see that evil, despite how we're constantly inundated with the media's evidence of it.


I think I'll head to bed early... like right now. :D


Be well, be safe and appreciate the amazing world around you and the wonderful people who grace your lives.

Thursday, post-chemo

Well, it wasn’t as bad a Thursday as when I’d had the Neulasta shot, but it wasn’t a joyride, either.  I’ve got some bone pains, but nothing like the Thursday from hell.  I just don’t feel very well, and I’m finding it difficult to get the energy to get up from a sit.  I did sleep last night, though, more than the two hours of the night before. :)

The day following chemo, my glucose is whacked out because of the pre-med, Decadron, which is also responsible for the post-chemo insomnia.  Yesterday morning I tested at 178, so I took a glipizide with my regular Januvia.  This morning I was 111, so that’s a good thing.  Cancer treatments do make dealing with Diabetes a bit problematic but my PCP is doing a great job helping me through.

Didn’t feel like eating this morning, but since I have to take my docxycline and Januvia, I have to eat something.  I downed a Glucerna bar.  Well, that sounds like I made quick work of it, but it took me an hour to get it all down.

I found it a very wonderful thing to have to work with my numbers today, because they really can take me out of the misery.  I concentrate on the story they tell, make sure it’s the truth, double check, examine the logic.  I will not put out something with my name on it that isn’t right.

You know, the last round of chemo, which I had in November and December of last year, I didn’t have this total fall-out of my hair.  It was thinner, for sure, and there were patches of baldness, but nothing like this total desertion of follicles.  Is it weird that after the initial shock at the great gobs of falling locks, I really am ENJOYING being bald?  It certainly makes showers a lot faster!  Eyelashes falling out are just odd.  They get on my glasses, and I try to keep them out of my eyes.  Blech. :D

I saw the end of a documentary last night, “How to Die in Oregon.”   The portion I saw detailed a liver cancer patient making the choice to have physician-assisted suicide.  Oregon passed the Death With Dignity Act in 1994.  When my mom was dying, and more than ready to BE dead, I found it inhumane that she could not be ushered from this life in a caring, dignified, painless fashion.  I could give this gift to my aged cat, but not my aged parent, and for now, I can’t even give this gift to myself.  No, I’m not ready yet, by a long-shot, but when I am, at least I know that Hospice will be my best option in lieu of euthanasia.

Ok, I know this was kind of a bummer post, but I'm feeling kind of bummed out, not really emotionally, but physically just done in.  In fact, I think I'm going back to bed now that my work day is over.  You'll probably look at this and think "what time do you start work, anyway?"  Well, the answer is, I can't sleep past sunrise, ever, so, I start working at six in the morning, and I'm done by 2:30PM.  

Love to all, and don't worry, the first Thursday post-chemo is the hardest.  Tomorrow will be a little better, and then the next day, better, and better, and better. :)

And now, it's cold!

But don't forget that's Arizona desert cold.... tomorrow's high is supposed to be 59!  Ai carumba!  Oh well, at least we don't have to leave the house.  Yes, I know, I am SO wimpy when it comes to cold. :)

The World of Warcraft had its shattering yesterday, and I made a Troll Druid.  I love druids; I'll be trying a different tactic with this one, though.  But how the world of Azeroth has changed!  It's almost a totally different game from the one my family started playing almost five years ago.  It's given new life to the game; Nancy was up until Midnight playing Vacasanta, her new Tauren Paladin.  I didn't last that long.

So, it will be interesting, seeing how the world of Azeroth has changed, and taking a youngster through it all again.

Today is Radiation 20.  Wow... and yes, radiation is very tough on your body.  I'm always exhausted, now.  But I try hard to eat plenty of protein, and I drink my Glucerna supplements, which has a goodly amount of protein in it.  The esophagus is definitely fried.  It's hard to describe it, but it's almost like you're getting acid reflux; it burns, but not constantly, although it does wake me up several times a night.

Nobody has called from Ironwood to schedule the CT with contrast that is supposed to be done on the 30th.  Dr. F will chide them most severely if they don't get it done.  I adore that guy. :)

I can't wait for tomorrow's feast.  We have two single neighbors coming.  Leslie is in her late sixties, and Helen is 87.  They have been our friends since we moved into this house in 1992.  Both Helen and Leslie would help me watch my mom before my two sisters moved out here with us.  They are the definition of true neighbors.

Well, I'm chafing at the bit to go play my new druid, so I'm off.  I want to send Hugs, Kisses and LOVE to everyone that reads this blog and also everyone that checks up on me, and makes sure I eat, and cares about my well-being. I am so lucky, so so lucky!

Fatigue...

Wow, I have the energy of a slug (you poor things, again I cast aspersions upon you).  I'd like nothing better than to just sleep, but this regimen is going to last a while and I don't want to sleep my life away.  Sadly, I seem to be watching more televsion, for it is easy to loll upon my bed and flip through the channels incessantly.

I am beginning to feel just a bit of pain from the radiation; it hurts a miniscule bit to cough.  And, of course, being asthmatic, I cough alot.  It's not a horrible pain by any stretch of the immagination; I believe this must be what's known as a little 'discomfort.' :D

Got in a good five minutes on my NuStep, though.  Don't want to slack off on that.  Had a little of my leftover scallops with garlic... still very yummy.  I asked Jane to check if they have brown rice at this joint; may as well up the nutrition factor all you can.

We're prepared for trick or treaters tonight, since my neighborhood is predominately Mormon and they cannot participate on their sabbath.  But we historically don't get too many kids.  We're on a cul-de-sac in a no-outlet street, and most of the folks on this street have older children, or are empty nesters.  But Carlos across the street has some youngsters, so we do at least get them.  One year, a local reservation brought a group of children in a van so that was kind of neat. (I personally think they had gotten lost, but whatever works!)

Well, I did take my druid into the Headless Horseman's dungeon, and explained to the group that my response time wasn't very fast, and told them why, and they were all very cool about it.  Oh, it was hideous.  My response-time, not the group.  We did get him down, though, but I lost aggro a few times, and had to push to keep up, so I probably won't be doing this again for a while.  But you gotta love the Horde players; very understanding and considerate.  Zug Zug!