Doctors and End of Life Discussions

Guess what, people, if doctors don't want to initiate this discussion, then it's up to you to get the ball rolling.  There's no need to legislate something that's this private; if end of life care is important to YOU, then YOU must be the one to ensure your doctors know exactly what you want, exactly how far you are willing to go and when it's time to rely on pure palliative care.

I was a bit miffed by this article in The Huffington Post.  Once again, someone opines that the government should get involved in something that is PURELY YOUR OWN responsibility.

"Oh they are already too gravely ill to discuss it."  Horse hockey.  If it's important to you, YOU have already gotten a living will together and every single one of your doctors has a copy on file.  You take it with you every time you have to have any kind of procedure.  YOUR FAMILY knows what you want, and aren't afraid to be your advocate if a time comes and you can't voice your wishes verbally.

And believe me, doctors are NOT averse to having end of life care discussions.  I've had plenty of them already.  If your doctor is poo-pooing your concern for this discussion by saying it's too early, or you're too young; honey, you need a new doctor.  If your doctor is unable or unwilling to LISTEN to your valid concerns, you need a doctor that will.

Good doctors want to give you the care that you feel is best; remember that they work for YOU, not vice versa.  I'm doing pretty darned well, but my oncologist and I have already discussed the trade-offs in my care vs my quality of life.  But another thing you have to remember is that YOU have a few doctors, but your doctors have hundreds of patients.  They will not remember every discussion you have ever had with them, and that is why it is incumbent upon YOU to get your end of life care directions put down on paper and drilled into the heads of your family.

And I know that family can be another huge driver in your end of life care.  Some people have family that won't listen to their wishes, due to many factors; spiritual, fear, grief... and again, this is why you NEED to get your desires documented.

I know, this article really pushed one of my buttons today.  But essentially, my own Living Will says, if I can be fixed, fix me, but if I can't be fixed then give me as many drugs as NECESSARY to keep me pain free.  Don't worry that I'll become addicted to pain killers; I'll be dead first.

Anyway, just understand that nothing in life is certain, even when you've gotten your ducks in a row, have all the documentation, and a DNR on the door of your hospital room,... and still someone ignores it.  Just do the best you can, and hope your wishes are understood and acknowledged.

Hugs to all... :)