Can *I* do Six Rounds?

This is getting harder with every round of chemo.  I want to be one of the 30ish % that can make it through six rounds of this, but I am finishing up round four and I am sick as the proverbial dog.


My legs are swelling up, my hands and feet feel creepy, and I can't begin to tell you how nauseated I am.  But, tomorrow is my last day of chemo week ON, and I hope I can begin to feel better.  


I slept a bit this afternoon; I'm so tired, and so weak.  I guess tomorrow I had better start hitting the Lasix so I can keep the edema at bay.  I keep remembering the last time I saw my oldest brother in the hospital, and his legs were HUGELY swollen.  And so were my mom's at the end.  In fact, she got water blisters all over her legs.  Her beautiful legs.  Ok, now I am starting to freak myself out, which means I should probably get to bed before the Queen of Neuroses gets out of bondage and runs rampant through my brain.


Good night, all.  Don't worry, I'll get past this, and I *WILL* do six rounds of this.  For I am, of course, strong like bull.

I Hate The Weakness

Yesterday, I was so weak I almost fell, so I'm using my walker around the house again.  And today, I fell asleep after lunch.  I hardly EVER sleep during the day, but I guess my body knows what it needs better than I.


Other than feeling pretty nasty, I've been spared many of the Xeolda and Camptosar side effects, at least so far.  Dr. F said we should do this regimen for four months and then get scanned again.  It's just so weird that this is my life; tons of drugs, days of not being well, then days of feeling great, and a vague disbelief that I'm even sick... until the cycle starts again.  Yeah, when the weakness hits, I feel like it's a precursor of the end of my days.  I can't do a damned thing.  Must be why I slept.


Is it strange that I think it's hilarious that I was so worried about the Esophageal Cancer, which is pretty much stabilized, and what's really going to get me is the Adrenal Gland Cancer?  Hey, but at least it has NOT metastasized yet.  Yes, see, you can tell when I'm not feeling very well, because I start to accept that mortality isn't all that bad.  When I feel good, I know I can fight for quite a while more.  It's normal; you feel physically bad, you feel mentally bad, and vice versa.


Anywho, the cycle of good days is about to come around any day now, and I'll be back to my old self.  Hopefully, I'll be good enough to run a dungeon with my sisters tomorrow. :)  Yes, we're making it a weekend ritual.  It's good for us; keeps us all connected, and works our brains, and I get to be the healer!  Maybe I can get some of that good healing juju to transfer from the PC to my poor cancer-riddled body. :D  I should try to get a good screen shot during a boss fight, so I can show you how we have fun.


Ok, hugs and kisses to all.  I'm going to go use up an Amazon gift certificate.  I think I hear something chocolate calling to me.....

Sometimes I forget...

...how bad I feel over the weekend.  I assume it's the chemo from Thursday working its way out of my body.  Saturday is the worst; I get dizzy, weak, and can't get warm.  I feel like I have the flu, or... here's a great word:  Ague.  I can't concentrate on anything. 

By Sunday, it's starting to dissipate, although I still feel weak, I'm not so dizzy.  The dizziness is a pain.  I have to use a walker just to get around the house.  But I remember once when Evelyn actually fell and hit her jaw on her kitchen counter and had to have stitches, so ... I'll use the walker. 

It's a bit overcast today.  And we have a bad air alert.  Of course, it's a no-burn day, and I just put my dogs out, and someone definitely is using their fireplace.  *cough*

I bought myself a tin of 36 water color pencils, so maybe if I feel better later, I'll go play with them.  Right now, though, I think I'll just go lie down for a while and maybe have a nap... a nap before 9AM... how odd. ;)

Keep warm, all, be safe and be happy.

Tired Cubed?

I'm so weak it's scaring me.  I'm great if I just sit here and type.  I just got home from Radiation 14, and I'm so tired I want to cry, but that would be far too much work. ;)

I worry it's my lungs, but I'm watching them, and my sats (oxygen saturation, or the level of oxygenation of my blood) are staying above 96, and my peak flow numbers are par for me.  And I did 24 minutes this morning on my recumbent stepper, albeit not at my normal pace, only about 75 steps per minute.  The radiation tech said I probably need more protein.  I sent Jane out for some Mu Gu Gai Pan.  And if that doesn't work, then I'll swill another bottle of Glucerna.  Yes, I lost another pound.  If I wasn't sick, I'd be ecstatic. :D

So this week's notes for my consultation with Dr. F:

• weakness
• dizziness
• tiredness
• and certainly I should be doing the stepper, right?

Now, I'm going to go sit in my Poang chair and relax.  Hugs and kisses to all... tired ones, but there you go. :)