Another CT Coming UP

It's not until Tuesday the 27th, but already I am dreading it.  Not the SCAN, for that's easy as pie.  No, it's the waiting for the results.  I try hard to live for today, but the spectre of the scan and its results can't be so easily dismissed.

The last scan, on the 23rd of September found the Pulmonary Embolism, for which I am massively grateful, for if it had not, I would probably not have survived through the weekend.  And so, though a PE is a horrible thing, it was the CT that saved me, and thus, it shouldn't be such a thing of dread.  It really is a GOOD thing, and I must remember to be optimistic and BELIEVE that it's going to give us some fantastic results.

Plus, I will finally, I hope, know why the hell my leg is causing me so much pain.  And if we know, then we can fix it!  So it has been said, so it shall be written. :)  I loved "The Ten Commandments."

Can we be done with Winter, now?  I'm tired of being cold.  Gads, I am SUCH a wimp. :D

Tomorrow for Christmas, we're having a roast of rib eye, which we are going to VERY, VERY carefully cook, since it was freaking expensive.  The last thing you want to do with this baby would be to over cook it.  Too bad I can't rent Bobby Flay or someone of his ilk.

I got a booklet in the mail from Genentech, who makes the Xeloda.  I liked the part that said something to the effect, "You've been on this drug for some time, now."  Oh yeah, baby, you can say that again.  Genentech sent me a whole bunch of stuff with my initial prescription; a pill dispenser, so you could pop your 4 AM and your 4 PM poison pills in this thing and not forget to take 'em.  As if.  But I use it.   There was also a really good booklet about what to expect from the side effects, and how to deal with them.  It really was a good little package of helpful, relevant... stuff. ;)

Anywho, since the scan will be on Tuesday, we are going to move our Camptosar infusions to every other THURSDAY starting next week.  I think that will be best in the long run, because then I'll have the weekend to rest up.  I managed to get somewhere in the range of 38.2 hours of work in this past week, and that's only because those damned painkillers made me so sick.

Well, to all of you Christians out there, let me wish you a very MERRY CHRISTMAS, and to everyone, Peace, Good-will, and may you get everything you deserve from life.

Oh the Leg

Thursday, the leg pain became unbearable again, so I took the Zofran, and after an hour, took half a percocet.  I was in bed, and wasn't feeling much relief from that half, so about an hour later I took the second half.  I went to sleep.

Got up this morning and felt so nauseated I took another Zofran.  But the pain in my leg was still hideous, so after an hour, I took a Vicodin.  Why is it that these darned narcotics are only useful for making me sick?

How in the heck, WHY in the heck does anyone take this crap for recreational use?  How can they do it?  Maybe I'm the only one that gets sick from these things?  I only worked an hour this morning before the nausea and pain put an end to that.  Bummer.

But on a very happy note, Wendy and Dean are flying in even as I type, and I'm so excited!  Now, I had better go find something to eat since I have four Xeloda pills to get down... oh joy. :)

Happy almost Winter to all!

Hands

Hands are the most incredible tools.  But we don't think much about them until something suddenly makes them less useful as tools.  We take our hands for granted.

Well, not me; not anymore at least.  My hands can't do so many things that used to be simply unthinking reflex actions.  Twist the cap off a tube of hand cream?  Piece of cake, unless that cap has any kind of ridges, and then, it's a complete no-go.  Open the margarine tub?  Oh no... sorry, hurts too much.

For breakfast, Jane made french toast.  I could not open the maple syrup bottle because the cap had ridges.  Sure, those ridges are great for traction, but not for people with Hand-Foot syndrome.  I know that if it gets really bad, we'll have to stop the Xeloda, and that's the last thing I want.  It's going to have to get really freaking bad before I complain to my oncologist.

The foot part is just starting to be a problem, and that's mostly noticeable when I shower.  I don't wear nice comfy padded shoes when I shower.  So, it's hard surface against bare feet and I really felt it today.  So far, my feet had been a non-issue, but yeah, I have to be careful with them, now, too.  Of course, if you think about it, there's no reason you couldn't wear, say... Croc's ... in the shower.  Hmmm, something to think about. :)

So, tomorrow I go for my labs at 7AM, then do some work, then go out to see Dr. Ramaswamy at 12:30PM.  I'm supposed to go in to the plant for some Sexual Harassment training, or something.  That's at 2:00PM.  Not sure I will have any energy left for that, though.  But it's mandatory.  I'll do my best.

The temperatures here are not as chilly as they were the past week or so.  Tonight's low is only predicted to be 48, and that's MUCH better than those low 30's.  And it looks like we have some rain in our forecast, which would be lovely.  We get it so infrequently, that we always get excited when it rains around here.  Our desert is very thirsty.

Be well, and safe.  Keep warm, and happy.  Blessings to all.

I'm So Happy!

I know I've said it before, but I enjoy working.  Everyone says I'm nuts.  But, what the heck, I'd surely rather be happy to work than be dreading every weekday.  The thing is, I like challenges, and those are everywhere when you're starting a new job with new responsibilities.

To be honest, I did feel a bit overwhelmed that first week, but I'm settling in to the job and it feels great.  And I have such a wonderful work group, and my management is so full of support; yeah, I'm one happy girl.

Monday I have pre-chemo labs to do, and Tuesday is infusion day and then back on those damned Xeloda pills.  I need to buy stock in a hand lotion company.

But most excitingly, next week my sister Wendy and her SO, Dean will be coming in from Ohio for a visit.  That's Nurse Wendy of past blog posts.  I'm so excited to see them both.  And the following week it's Winter Solstice, so holy moses, it's going to be one fantastic December.

Speaking of Wendy and Dean, they got me a new game called Elder Scrolls V:  Skyrim.  Oh boy, am I having a blast with this game.  It's not on one-line mulitplayer as is my usual haunt, but this one is single player in a HUGE world in which you can just explore to your heart's content.  And it's beautiful.

And Skyrim is why I haven't posted since Monday; too busy playing.  I play more than when I was a kid; we didn't actually play much.  Mostly we did homework and read.  But we all got great grades, so that was the trade-off.  Anywho, I must be making up for lost time. :)

Now you all keep warm, and have a great weekend if I don't post before then.

Cold... COLD!

I am SUCH a wimp when it comes to cold.  And tonight's low should be around 32.  My sisters went through the farmland wrapping up the produce.  I would hate to see my artichokes freeze to death before I could even eat one. :)  And I really, really want that red cabbage to survive!

Tomorrow I have a meeting and I want to be there in person, so I am going to head in to the plant, and then have lunch with my friend Annette at the cafeteria.  You know, I couldn't do this without my trusty scooter.  Mine is an older version than the one pictured, but you get the idea.  The battery weighs more than any other part of the vehicle.  Thank goodness I have that lift on the back of the Equinox.. oh and thank you, too, General Motors!

Today was wonderful, despite the cold.  I got quite a bit accomplished at work, and it's SO good to be stretching those little grey cells, as Poirot would call them.  It just felt so GOOD to interact with people in a way that not only challenges my brain, but delights my gregarious nature.

On the Cancer front, tomorrow morning is this round's last bunch of Xeloda, but not the last bunch forever.  My hands are happy, though, that they get a break for a week.  I'm going broke on hand lotion. :D

I almost forgot my Arixtra shot again, so I put a reminder on my calendar at work.  Shoot up at 1PM. :)  That might raise a few eyebrows.  Hehehe.

Does the weather have anything to do with the pain in my leg?  Yes, I had it in the summer, but I wonder if the cold weather exacerbates it.  I go to bed with a heating pad on it, but tonight I just might have to hit the Vicodin.  I can do it, if I sleep after I take it.  And just one doesn't seem to make me barf, but any more than that and it's good-bye to my stomach contents.

Yes, I am so happy to be working again.  I have this silly smile plastered to my face, even when it hurts to get up from a sit, I'm still happy.  I may grimace, but the smile comes right back.

Take care, everyone... keep warm, and be safe!

All is Finally Right

Today, I worked.  Got all my accesses cleared, my badge works, and my wifi was perfect, and so, I am once again a productive part of the American workforce.  YAY! :)  I think, because my new job will require some education on my part, I will probably have to ask for a printer.  Lots of new systems and processes to come up to speed on, and I learn better when I read and have things right in front of me.  Sometimes, I can be SO old-school.

Yesterday was a huge challenge.  I was on-site for about six hours and by the time I got home, I was so exhausted I ached everywhere and couldn't get warm to save my life.  This morning, my leg was excruciatingly painful, and I had a headache.  And I still had to go into the plant to get my laptop from the service center.  But, I went in early, it was ready and rarin' to go, so I probably only spent a couple of hours on-site.  Still, by the time I got home, I was in so much pain I was in tears.  So, I broke down and took a Naprosyn, and thought to myself, if I get stomach bleeding from this, so be it, at least I won't hurt that much.  I did consider taking a Vicodin, I was in that much pain, but ... oh blech... I couldn't stand the thought of having to vomit with such a headache.

So, despite this being the week from hell, I anticipate nothing but smooth sailing from here on out.  If this afternoon was any indication, we're in good shape, and I can get cracking on learning all the new things on which I need to become an expert.  Thank the deities I learn quickly.

Well, crap, I just realized that I didn't take my Xeloda with my dinner so,... I had best go get them and get them down my gullet ASAP.

Hugs to all!

Work Tomorrow!

Can I just say that I am actually a bit scared of going back to work?  It's been five months this time.  I don't even know if I'll remember how to do stuff!  Ok, that's the Queen of Neuroses coming out of the basement... hold on, let me lasso her and drag her back down there.

Ok, so... going back to work tomorrow.  It really should not be an ordeal.  I have to go in to Medical first thing, and present them with my oncologist's list of no-no's.  For instance, because we're a manufacturing site, one of the fields on the form is what you can do with your hands; vibration, grasping, repetitive movement.  He's said no to vibration and grasping because of the Hand-Foot syndrome from the Xeloda.  I told him repetitive movement could be interpreted as using the keyboard, which I do and have no problem doing, so that has no restrictions.

The interesting part is that most of the restrictions on the form are due to my lung disease, and not necessarily the cancer.  But the problem is that the cancer makes the lung disease more difficult to deal with.  Still, I haven't had a full-up PFT in years, so I'm not sure if the last few asthma exacerbations have given me a decline in lung function.  It's hard for me to remember that it's classified as COPD exacerbation, now. :)  Things like stairs, walking... very challenging combined with the COPD and the cancer's debilitating effects.  I get tired. ;)

I changed my phlebotomy appointment to 12:30 PM, so I can at least spend some time in the plant, trying to figure things out.  But truly, I'm very happy to be getting some productive normalcy back into my life.  If I can't do this, then I will have to accept that I need to go on disability, but I am fighting that every step of the way.

Must have everything prepared before I go to bed this evening; it will make the morning so much easier.  Clothes assembled, accessories figured out, grab a Glucerna to take for breakfast, get morning meds ready, and probably, I'll need a hat.  Nancy gave me a trim yesterday so that at least I will be presentable sans headwear... not looking so much like Alfalfa from Our Gang. ;)  Oh, better find my traveling coffee mug!

The Weather Channel says it will be 76 tomorrow, but the morning will be chilly, and the scooter trip from my parking space over to medical will be nippy, so a hat is probably a very good idea.

Well, that's it for this post.  Have a lovely Sunday, and make sure when someone does something you appreciate, you let them know how much.

Dizzy Broad

I'm getting pretty dizzy upon standing, now.  Yes, the leg pain is still there, and pretty hellacious.  Putting a heating pad on it does help, though.  Cathy's been quite adept at knowing when I need my herbal heating thingy warmed up.  I won't do any more Naprosyn since it's an NSAID and I don't want to make my stomach start bleeding while I am on my anticoagulant.

And still coughing up goop; it doesn't seem to want to let up.  I'm trying to stay nicely hydrated, but it's pretty hard when on Lasix.  I keep an eye on the skin of my hands, and if it's looking wrinkly and fragile, I know I need to drink more. 

I'm sick to death of pills.  Just sick to death of them, but I know they are keeping me from the big sleep, so what can you do?  My hands are really becoming problematic.  I can't grip anything, so I have to ask someone to open containers, open car doors, etc.  And it's getting quite painful to grip my canes.  I'm putting a ton of lotion on them, several times a day to try to stave off the Xeloda side effects, but it is getting harder every day.

Dr. F may be right, and I am nuts to want to return to work, but surely it can only help me to get my mind on something bigger than me and pain.  I can do it; I know I can.  I'll be home; I won't have to go across an atrium to get to the Ladies', nor traverse long halls to get to my desk.  It should NOT be physically taxing. 

Speaking of pills, I'm taking my night time allotment; B6, Iron, Singulair, Magnesium, Zantac, Protonix, and Lipitor.  Morning is not so bad; it's just Januvia, two Turmeric, a Glipizide if my glucose is over 150, my B6, and a krill oil capsule.  Of course, since it's still chemo week, I then have to take the four Xeloda with my breakfast, and the other four with my dinner.  Yeah, those are not my favorites.

At least tomorrow I have no need to hit the phlebotomist. :)  I'll head to Ironwood on Tuesday just to get my shot of Aranesp, and I'm doing well I think with the shot of anticoagulant I give myself every day.  Definitely not bothered by that.  It's a piece of cake. :)  Considering I've been around syringes for most of my life, I don't really have a problem with needles.  And lest that sound rather suspicious, remember that both of my parents were insulin dependent diabetics.  I've even given injections to my cockatoo, which is REALLY scary, since hers was in her chest, and you had to avoid putting it into her lungs.  Yeah, that was a nerve-wracking experience.  Not to mention, birds don't WANT to have needles stuck in their chests, and they have very strong beaks with which to make their displeasure known.

Anywho, you can probably tell that I'm not exactly at my most optimistic at the moment, but it's chemo week, and that's pretty par for the course.  After Tuesday, when I don't have to take the Xeloda for a week, I'll improve every day. :)

Hugs to all, and sleep well!

I Want to Go Back to Work

On Tuesday, when I see my oncologist, I am going to ask him if I can return to work earlier than scheduled.  I know he thinks I should just go out on disability, but just because my body doesn't function all that well, my mind is still in decent shape. :)  I'd like to return on the 28th of November, if I can.  That's despite the fact that the 29th begins another chemo week. :P

My company has always been very accommodating of my disabilities, so I don't think that will change.  Maybe I won't be able to start out at 40 hours a week, but I can come close, I think.  Yes, I still have to have my Camptosar infusion every other Tuesday, and have a week on the Xeloda, but my PCP is trying to get my insurance to cover a home PT/INR test kit so that I don't have to keep running to the phlebotomist every Monday and Thursday.  And frankly, my veins are giving out.

I'll call the Leave Services people on Monday and see what I need to go back to work early.  I'm guessing my oncologist will have to fill out more exciting paperwork... like the ever-popular physical abilities assessment sheet.  I'll have to go download one from the Boeing Intranet.

Anywho, a return to work will do wonders for my mental state.  I've said before that the connections to other humans are something that really lifts my spirits, and gods know I could use that.  Not that I'm depressed or anything, but I think I am feeling rather useless, and I'd rather be doing something constructive with my time and energy.  And I miss my numbers!  Keeping my checkbook balanced just isn't enough challenge. :D

So, that's my plan for Monday and Tuesday.  Yeah, Tuesday begins another chemo week.  But I can handle it... yeah. :)

Have a great weekend, everyone.  Love, hugs and kisses to all.

Oh Xeloda

I took the last four of this week's Xeloda with my breakfast.  We made scrambled eggs and added our leftover veggie melange, which had cauliflower, broccoli, asparagus, grey squash and assorted chili peppers.  It was a fine breakfast.

Still coughing up goop from my lungs, although I am done with the prednisone.  I do still have about a week left of the doxycycline.  Yesterday's foray to the phlebotomist was a little challenging.  We had to do two sticks, and my blood did not want to flow.  But, we got what we needed, eventually. :)

Our neighbor, Leslie, thinks chocolate therapy is good for me, so she keeps supplying me with really lovely items.  This week, it was a tiramisu log.  Oh so yummy.  And it's not like I'm wasting away.  My weight is pretty darned stable.  And then Jane's friend Lisa sent individual carrot cakes.  Ai chihuahua.  :)

So, Dr. Ramaswamy said I should wear support socks.  He says my left leg's veins have been injured by the blood clot and that's why I get the swelling.  Have you ever tried to put ON support socks?  I don't breathe all that well on good days, and doubling over trying to wrestle with these socks .... well, let's just say I almost need a nap once I get one on.  And then, you have to put 'em on BOTH legs.  Well, I guess I could just put one on the left leg, but ... nah.  Anywho, it's great exercise, if I don't pass out from lack of oxygen. :D

I've been watching The Next Iron Chef, and this iteration has some of the best chefs ever.  But it's tough, because these folks ARE fantastic chefs, and each week, someone gets tossed, and it's not like there are any slugs in the mix here.  Robert Irvine got tossed because his Hummus was too thick!  Yeah, the line up is that good that something as minor as Hummus that's too thick can get you sent packing.

The Xeloda nausea has been a constant for this round, but it's not horrible.  It doesn't make me retch, it just makes me feel crappy.  But on the bright side, the chilly nights are making me sleep like crazy.  Good, deep, restorative sleep.  YAY!

So, keep warm, all.  And have a great week.

Yes, it's Chemo Week

I've not been feeling great, so I haven't had anything exciting to post. :)  I've got a couple more days on the prednisone for the asthma exacerbation, and I looked at my hands today and saw the hands of an 80 year old.  Prednisone just beats the crap out of my skin.  My hands look withered.  Of course, the side effects of the Xeloda are contributing to that, as well.  Oh well, my chances to become a famous hand model are now dimmer than ever. :D

Had another great blood draw yesterday from Joyce at Sonora Quest labs.  There is not a shoddy phlebotomist in the place.  They are fantastic!  I go to the one on Brown Road just west of Country Club.  It's close to my house... relatively speaking.

It's really cooling off here in the desert; highs are only in the low 80's and the overnight lows are down-right chilly in the 50's!  Saturday's projected high is supposed to be 64!  Holy guacamole!  But hey, that's what long sleeved shirts are for, eh?  Jane and Nancy will be happy to play soccer in the cooler weather, that's for sure.

Nothing new to report, though.  Leg is back to being painful and making it hard to get out of bed, so Nancy rigged up a support device to help me with that.  Works wonders. :)  I'm using a cane to get around the house, as sometimes the stupid leg doesn't want to support me.  How rude, when I've been supporting IT for years.  Alas.  And being on blood thinners, the last thing you want to do is fall.

Take care, all.  Keep warm. :)

Did My Camptosar

Happily I was able to have my camptosar infusion today, although with the bronchitis and asthma flare up, it's left me a lot more lethargic than usual.  I got my four Xeloda pills down with my dinner.  They are always a joy. :)

I saw my Primary Care yesterday, and he put me on some doxycyline because my sputum was starting to become colorful, and we just can't afford a bacterial pneumonia.  Better to be safe than dead, I say. :D

Of course, tonight will see the Dreaded Decadron Insomnia, but I have books to read, and I reloaded Diablo II, so I can play that for a bit. 

Finally confessed my self-proclaimed "behavioural issue" with Dr. Ramaswamy.  I told him that I have major problems knowing when to complain about symptomatic issues.  It's really, really a difficult issue for me.  Mostly, I told him, I feel like a whiner because that's how I was brought up between my ever-stoic parents and the even more stoic nuns.  He told me to call him if there was any doubt in my mind; any niggle of suspicion that something isn't right.  If we can just deal with it over the phone, then that is what we will do.  He listened to me, and he had an answer for me that makes sense, and so I shall try very hard to stick with this plan.  Dr. Ramaswamy is truly the best.

He says, too, that the swelling of my ankle and foot looks alot better than it did in the hospital, and that the INR rates are very challenging on me because of my chemo drugs, and being on prednisone at the moment.  So we're sticking to Monday and Thursday blood tests.  He did say he was going to have his assistant contact my insurance company and ask about home testing for PT/INR's.  I would do that in a heartbeat.

So, you know, I'm not feeling great, but I'm not back in the hospital, and THAT makes me happy as a clam.  And on that note, I think it's time to hit the hookah.

Love to all, peace on Earth and hugs all 'round!

Hookah Power!

It's 4:33AM and I am using my nebulizer once again.  Actually, I am doing MUCH better since yesterday morning when I went to get my PT/INR.  I had to take the scooter because I was WAY too weak to walk.  That's nothing to worry about; mostly a combination of the chemo and this cold I have that is running its course.  I hope to be back to walking on Thursday when I have to return to the lab for more blood-letting.

There really is nothing new and exciting to tell you about for this post, but I wanted to let you all know that I am feeling better.  And most happily, my breakfast dose of Xeloda this morning will be the last of this round, and then I have my chemo week OFF. :)  YAY, I need a break.

My hands are definitely beginning to feel the effects of Hand-Foot Syndrome.  There are many things I can't do with my hands at the moment, like open bottles, make coffee (our carafe's handle, the one we fill with water to pour into the coffee maker, has a very uncomfortable handle for me.)  It hurts to grasp anything, which is a bit problematic for someone who, when she walks either uses a cane or a walker.  But the good news is that Hand-Foot Syndrome clears up once the chemotherapy drugs are withdrawn.  So, I shall just suck it up. :)

And that's it.  I'm looking forward to Halloween on Monday; hopefully we will have trick or treaters, and I can watch them from a distance. 

Love and hugs to all.

I Love Fall

I think Fall is by far my favorite season.  Even here, we have leaves changing colors; certainly not as showy and impressive as over in New England, but it's here, nonetheless.


Today, I'll be heading off to see the oncologist at 1PM, then if all is well with my labs, I can have my Camptosar infusion.  How amazing that after being so skittish in the beginning of this treatment regimen, now, I WANT it!  Doesn't matter that it makes me nauseated; it's saving my life, and I want it.  Oooh, that sounds like a three-year-old, doesn't it?  I WANT IT!  :D


On the other hand, this means the beginning of my Xeloda cycle, too.  You know, I'm exceedingly lucky, because other than the nausea, I'm not getting the more harsh side effects from these two chemo drugs.  Oh well, yes, there IS that little problem with blood clots, but I was lucky there, too!  That Pulmonary Embolism was found before it killed me.  That's luck!


But perhaps, luck has nothing to do with it.  I know I have so many supporters out there; family, friends, even strangers I have never physically met.  With all those prayers, good mojo, best wishes and love, you know that HAS to play a part in my so-called 'luck.'  And I am most appreciative of every bit of support that comes my way.


Our house is now decorated for Halloween.  We have a HORRIBLE giant spider on the front porch, and his web is full of plastic cockroaches.  I kinda helped out yesterday, putting cockroaches in the web, but frankly, they kept sliding and looked FAR too real for my taste, but in the spirit of the season, they are perfect.


Jane made another batch of cupcakes yesterday with my favorite Chocolate Cream Cheese frosting, but instead of cocoa powder, which we didn't have, we used Mexican Chocolate... with cinnamon.  Holy carp, these cupcakes are to die for.  And if I eat too many, I will. :)  The cake part is spice cake, too, so believe me, the Mexican in us is VERY happy with these cupcakes.


So that's it for this post.  All is well, and if anything comes up at the oncologist today, I'll let you all know.


Love, hugs and kisses, too!

AC's Back On

And the reason this is?  We want to sleep.  It was just not cooling down enough last night, but I wasn't about to go around the house at 2AM shutting windows, so I didn't turn the Air Conditioning back on until this morning.  Oh, and yes, it was a bit warm today. :)


Jane and Nancy have soccer tomorrow, so Cathy and I are going to do something in the crock pot.  I got the recipe from "Not Your Mother's Slow Cooker Cookbook."  A rather unwieldy title, but it does have some freaking awesome recipes.  Any book that includes SEVERAL recipes with Hominy has GOT to be good! ;)


I can't remember exactly what the recipe was but it definitely involved turkey smoked sausage and a jar of good salsa.  We're going to slap it over whole-wheat pasta; whichever type we have in the pantry is fine.


Today, I decided to get up and put on my compression socks.  Holy carp, what a workout.  I guess they wouldn't work well if they were not a job to don.  Did they work?  The jury is out, only because I didn't put them on right out of bed. I think my ankles had already started swelling before I put them on my lotion-slathered feet.  Don't forget, I'm still trying to stave off the nasty Hand-Foot Syndrome from my chemo.  


On the agenda for this week?  Monday, a plethora of blood tests; my PT/INR, and some exciting pre-chemo checks...CBC, platelets with differentials and something called a D-Dimer to check my clottiness, so to speak.  Thankfully there is no test to check my snottiness.  I think the results might be pretty fascinating, though, if there were.


Then, Tuesday, it's Camptosar infusion time, followed by the start up of my week of Xeloda, and of course, the Dreaded Decadron Insomnia.  After that, the remainder of the week will be filled with me trying not to be nauseated.  Although, on Thursday, it'll be back to the phlebotamist for another PT/INR.  


But on the happy side, my sisters and I will be attending BlizzCon, virtually of course.  Wouldn't want to barf all over an actual convention, and I think the airlines would charge me a fortune to pack up my scooter, Darth Vader (my oxygen concentrator), and my CPAP.  


And now, it's time to take my night time bevy of pills and read a bit before I head off to slumber land.  I hope you all have a great upcoming week full of peace, sleep, and much happiness.

April 2012!

HBO says the second season of "Game of Thrones" will premier in April of 2012.  That's not so far away.  Must try to stay healthy so I can enjoy it.  I get most of my information from a site called Winter-Is-Coming.  They do keep me up to date. :)

I started re-watching the first season of "Game of Thrones," since I'm not exactly at my most mobile at the moment. The final scene of the first episode still makes me gasp despite having read the books and having seen the episode at least twice before.  I think HBO is fantastic for giving us the tools to re-watch any program at any time, via HBO GO.

As for my mobility, the pain in my thigh has lessened considerably, and I find that getting up from a sit is no longer the groan-out-loud experience it has been.  Seriously, it took me minutes to get up the COURAGE to try to get up from a sit, it hurt so badly.  Our thigh muscles are pretty important; more important than I ever gave them credit for at least.  Because until this, I never gave them a thought.  Sorry, thigh muscles... you guys rock!

It's amazing how much cancer makes you learn things.  I know so much more about the physiology of my own body than I ever dreamed I'd learn.  Or really cared to learn, actually.  But, frankly, it's all very fascinating.  Makes you wonder how the hell we've survived all this time as a species when so much can go wrong with our very complicated systems.  I mean just eating; getting the nutrition right (which many of us fall short being successful) is insanely complicated, and we've made it much more difficult with all the stupid processing we've done to make food less nutritious, but supposedly more palatable.  To that I say HORSE HOCKEY!

Take grains, for instance.  Have you had a good serving of Quinoa pilaf lately?  I'll guess not.  Whole grain Quinoa, Millet, Barley, Wheat Berries:  all delicious in their natural states, and packed full of nutrition.  Cook them correctly, and they are satisfyingly toothsome, adding great texture, flavor and goodness to any plate.

Today is my last dose of Xeloda for this round, and after I take my breakfast foursome, I get a week off from the pills.  And food is starting to look good again. :)

Be happy, everyone.  Hug someone or something you love today.  Don't forget!

Every Once in a While...

...you have to change things up.  I was feeling more green than dark blue, and so my blog background had to be adjusted. :)


Tomorrow, I'll do my last four Xeloda tablets for this round.  Thank the deities.  Friday, it's time for another CT scan.  To say that I'm already fretting about it is an understatement.  Frankly, I'm terrified.  I have never ... not ONCE ... had good news following a CT.  As Gilda Radner said, 'It's always something!'  I have her book of the same title, describing her journey through ovarian cancer.  I can't read it right now.


I just have to tell myself not to think about it until Friday morning, when I get another exciting frosty shake of barium and the joy of iodine ... checking in at SIX!  And I thought the Eight AM chemo was bad.  HAH! ;)


Pessimistic isn't normally how I view the world, and I am trying hard to visualize a great outcome for this week's scan.  It's not helping that I feel horrible from the week's worth of chemo.  I have always had a hard time being upbeat when I feel crappy.  I'm guessing that's probably true for everyone.  But on the bright side... and of course, there always is one, just sometimes they are harder to find than others...temperatures are coming down in The Valley of the Sun.  YAY!


Also, my very favorite holiday of all time, Halloween, is coming up fast.  It will be bittersweet this year, as Halloween was also my brother Jerry's birthday, and this will be the first one since he died.  But that's what the season is for; to honor your departed loved ones and keep their memories close.


So that brings up a delightful dilemma:  What shall I be this Halloween?  If I do get clearance to return to work in mid October, Halloween falls on a Monday, which would be the PERFECT day to wear a costume to work.  Hmmm, it would have to be something that would go well with my scooter.  Maybe I could get Nancy to mount my broom to my scooter... oh man, now I really want to go to work on Halloween!


There.  I feel better already.  You just have to keep in mind all the great things in your life, and you can get through anything.  This is also why I have this blog, so that I can work through the silly fears and get back to having a life.


Be well, all!

Sleepy... so sleepy!

Here I am, in the fifth round of my Camptosar/Xeloda clinical trial.  Apparently, this is the sleeeeepy phase.  All I want to do is sleep.  And believe me, if I lie down, I sleep.  I can sleep 20 hours a day right now.  But, I am trying to stay upright more than 4 hours at a time. :)


Dr. Fastenberg did warn me that the fatigue would be a cumulative effect of this regimen.  Because it's Saturday, I only have a few more days of the Xeloda then I get my week off.  YAY for the week off!


Outside, the sun is shining brightly and my bougainvillea and hibiscus are spreading colorful cheer all over the place.  We have some parts of the back garden that need a good clean up after the past week of storms, hail, lightning, and dust storms.  The gazebo over the spa needs to come down.  Besides, the Indian Rosewood tree is now providing ample shade, and looks glorious, too!


Jane's going to make one of my favorite dinners tonight: chicken, rice and spinach.  I don't know why I love rice and spinach so much, but of course, it has to be the RIGHT rice; whole grain red, brown, some rye, some barley.  I guess it's more of a rice and grain mixture, rather than plain rice.  


Tomorrow, my Chicago family, Jon and Michelle, are going to join us in a dungeon run.  I may not make it, if I am very tired, but we have enough of us to make it doable.  Wendy will be there; if there is one thing that playing World of Warcraft does for us, it helps keep our family members connected, even though they are across the country.  Where it's cold.  I want some cold!  :D


So, fatigue is the explanation for why I haven't posted on the blog in a while.  But I am doing well, so no worries.  Everyone tells me I look great, that I don't look sick... well, except for the weird hair.  And that reminds me.... NANCY!  Get out the dog clippers!


Hugs and love to all!

I'm at Ironwood

After consulting with Dr. Fastenberg, it was decided that we'd do another round of the Camptosar and Xeloda before we do the next scan.  This is fine with me because I am illogically hoping that FIVE treatments will show positive progress MUCH more than a measley four treatments.  Yes, I *am* a loon.

Other than the above, there is not much new to report.  I shall resume the Xeloda pills with dinner and get back to the chemo week ON routine.

Hugs to all!

Edit...
Oooh, now that I have my calendar, I see I'll be having SIX rounds of this before the scan.  EVEN better, I say.  :)

And a New Week Begins...

...thus, tomorrow, I have to go have vials of blood siphoned from my poor arm.  I guess I had better start drinking lots of water as soon as I get up.  It helps the blood flow, you know. ;)


Tuesday is chemo infusion day with the Camptosar, and then the Xeloda tablets start Tuesday afternoon.  This is round four for this iteration of chemotherapy.  But I had a great weekend.  We ran World of Warcraft dungeons out the wazoo today, and two of my sisters got a cool dragon mount.  If I had gotten one, I'd have taken a picture so I could show you.  Maybe next weekend.  But I do love having an all-sister dungeon party. :)

Actually, the dragon they got today looks a bit like the one I am riding above.  Well, my Tauren Druid is riding it.  I'd be too scared, myself. :D  This one is an Albino Drake, and they got a Bronze Drake.


I've been tired, so I've been reading a lot because that just taxes my eyes and not the rest of me.  I do love to read.  Plus it makes me forget how much I dread my chemo week ON. :P  Oh well, as my dentist and I talked about, as long as I still have fun, and have good days, I'm happy.  But you know, in the back of my mind, no matter how much I try to keep it out of there, I still know another scan is coming and I'm running out of options.  Ugh, I hate those scans... well, not the scans themselves, but the waiting for the results.  I could surely use some good results for a change. :)


Alrighty, I'm off to bed.  Don't worry about me, I still have tons of red in my health bar; not ready to head out of this world just yet. I'm still hanging in, hoping against hope that I get an invite to the Diablo III beta.  Come on, Blizzard, make my day!