May Flowers

The hydrangeas have survived two days in Arizona, although they were looking a little droopy this morning.  A quick application of water had them springing back in shape in no time.


I'm having to watch how I think.  Since my visit with Dr. F on Thursday, I've been catching myself thinking about things in the future, and then reminding myself that I may not be around for that.  I don't want to do this.  I just want to live today, and whatever happens or doesn't... that's fine.  There's no sliding bar hanging over me that says I'm going to die by a specific date and time.  And I'm just not going to be DYING until I actually die.  Until then, baby, I'm LIVING!  So it's just a matter of halting that time-schedule self talk and reprogramming myself back to now.  


Because seriously, what has changed?  Just because they found another cancer doesn't mean I can't control the esophageal AND the adrenal.  The only thing that HAS changed is that I have to do the nasty chemo again, and it'll be done in a few weeks, then I'll be back to 'normal,' until we have to do it again somewhere down the road.  As long as there IS a down the road, it's all golden. :)


I have to take a couple of Decadron tabs the day before, the day of, and the day after chemo.  Back to watching my glucose like a hawk. :D


But back on the flower front, we're seeing some sprouting of the dahlias and the crocosmias.  I can't wait!  Both of these make splendid cutting flowers.  I can have fresh flowers in the house for most of the summer and fall!!


Wendy got me to play a new game:  Deathspank.  Yes, it's a parody of action adventure type games a la Diablo II and Torchlight.  It's hilarious.  Reminds me of "George of the Jungle" type cartoons from my ill-spent youth. :D


Tomorrow it's back to work, telecommuting for a while, at least until this round of chemo is over.  I'll be susceptible to infection again, and anything else that would like to get a foot-hold on my body; like I don't have enough invaders on board. ;)


Tonight, we'll be having a grilled, marinated pork loin, rice and artichoke heart salad and some other veggie choice which shall be made closer to eating time.  Happy Mother's Day to all you breeders out there.  I miss my mother, but she had a good run for most of her life.


Love to all!