I Hate The Weakness

Yesterday, I was so weak I almost fell, so I'm using my walker around the house again.  And today, I fell asleep after lunch.  I hardly EVER sleep during the day, but I guess my body knows what it needs better than I.


Other than feeling pretty nasty, I've been spared many of the Xeolda and Camptosar side effects, at least so far.  Dr. F said we should do this regimen for four months and then get scanned again.  It's just so weird that this is my life; tons of drugs, days of not being well, then days of feeling great, and a vague disbelief that I'm even sick... until the cycle starts again.  Yeah, when the weakness hits, I feel like it's a precursor of the end of my days.  I can't do a damned thing.  Must be why I slept.


Is it strange that I think it's hilarious that I was so worried about the Esophageal Cancer, which is pretty much stabilized, and what's really going to get me is the Adrenal Gland Cancer?  Hey, but at least it has NOT metastasized yet.  Yes, see, you can tell when I'm not feeling very well, because I start to accept that mortality isn't all that bad.  When I feel good, I know I can fight for quite a while more.  It's normal; you feel physically bad, you feel mentally bad, and vice versa.


Anywho, the cycle of good days is about to come around any day now, and I'll be back to my old self.  Hopefully, I'll be good enough to run a dungeon with my sisters tomorrow. :)  Yes, we're making it a weekend ritual.  It's good for us; keeps us all connected, and works our brains, and I get to be the healer!  Maybe I can get some of that good healing juju to transfer from the PC to my poor cancer-riddled body. :D  I should try to get a good screen shot during a boss fight, so I can show you how we have fun.


Ok, hugs and kisses to all.  I'm going to go use up an Amazon gift certificate.  I think I hear something chocolate calling to me.....