Every Once in a While...

...you have to change things up.  I was feeling more green than dark blue, and so my blog background had to be adjusted. :)


Tomorrow, I'll do my last four Xeloda tablets for this round.  Thank the deities.  Friday, it's time for another CT scan.  To say that I'm already fretting about it is an understatement.  Frankly, I'm terrified.  I have never ... not ONCE ... had good news following a CT.  As Gilda Radner said, 'It's always something!'  I have her book of the same title, describing her journey through ovarian cancer.  I can't read it right now.


I just have to tell myself not to think about it until Friday morning, when I get another exciting frosty shake of barium and the joy of iodine ... checking in at SIX!  And I thought the Eight AM chemo was bad.  HAH! ;)


Pessimistic isn't normally how I view the world, and I am trying hard to visualize a great outcome for this week's scan.  It's not helping that I feel horrible from the week's worth of chemo.  I have always had a hard time being upbeat when I feel crappy.  I'm guessing that's probably true for everyone.  But on the bright side... and of course, there always is one, just sometimes they are harder to find than others...temperatures are coming down in The Valley of the Sun.  YAY!


Also, my very favorite holiday of all time, Halloween, is coming up fast.  It will be bittersweet this year, as Halloween was also my brother Jerry's birthday, and this will be the first one since he died.  But that's what the season is for; to honor your departed loved ones and keep their memories close.


So that brings up a delightful dilemma:  What shall I be this Halloween?  If I do get clearance to return to work in mid October, Halloween falls on a Monday, which would be the PERFECT day to wear a costume to work.  Hmmm, it would have to be something that would go well with my scooter.  Maybe I could get Nancy to mount my broom to my scooter... oh man, now I really want to go to work on Halloween!


There.  I feel better already.  You just have to keep in mind all the great things in your life, and you can get through anything.  This is also why I have this blog, so that I can work through the silly fears and get back to having a life.


Be well, all!