There is danger in having access to just about everything on the face of the planet via the www. Today I had cupcake cravings. I don't eat cupcakes, yet I had to stop myself from buying, of all things, a Cupcake Maker. Seriously, if you have an oven, you already HAVE a cupcake maker; you don't need some silly pink cupcake-shaped, teflon-coated, electricity-hogging waste of space!
But I wanted one. Yet, I was strong and got past that moment of madness. Makes me wonder if the Queen of Neuroses has a pal... the Duchess of Dim-wittedness. Could happen.
Time now to inhale some albuterol. I see we have an Ozone Health Watch for tomorrow, and we're back up to around 108. Joy. Maybe tomorrow I'll crave an Icee or something very cold. Oooh, snowcones!
I remember last year at this time wishing for cooler weather, which meant that I was hoping time would fly by into Winter. THIS year, I'm just taking it as it comes. I'd love cooler weather, but I don't want to wish my life away, either. Of course, last year at this time, I had no idea I had a freaking monster in my esophagus, either. That wasn't discovered until the last week of September.
So, yes, it's almost a year that I have survived this cancer. I think, all things considered, that I am holding up pretty well. I'd just love to have my life back; you know, work, be as social as I ever was, which wasn't much, but it was better than this feeling of isolation from the rest of humanity. But it's so hard to leave the house. It's just tiring! You know, you have to be presentable, and then there's usually lots of physicality involved, and I'm weak as if, donating blood I gave a gallon of blood instead of a pint.
Oh sure, the weather is not helping, nor the air lack-of-quality. But you know, if I had a cupcake, I probably wouldn't mind...STOP THAT! No cupcakes! I just had some garlic bread; the last thing I need is more carbs. Or sugar. Ummm, cupcakes. I'm losing it.
But not really, because in ten minutes I'll crave something else like prunes or pistachios, or pumpkin pie, or pickles... and I HATE pickles. I think I need a nap.
Be well, all, and be thankful for all the love you have in your life, but remember it takes LOVING to earn love in return.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Labels
"The Big C"
(1)
120 degrees
(1)
accommodation
(2)
Adrenal Gland
(2)
Adult Day Care
(1)
Aetna
(3)
Ague
(1)
Ahi Tuna
(1)
air quality
(2)
albuterol
(6)
Aloxi
(1)
amazon parrot
(1)
Americans with Disabiliites Act
(1)
Andy Whitfield
(1)
Anger
(1)
Ankles
(1)
anti-seizure meds
(1)
antibiotics
(3)
anticoagulant
(3)
Anxiety
(6)
appetite
(4)
Aranesp
(3)
Arixtra
(3)
Arizona
(1)
artichokes
(1)
Asparagus
(3)
asthma
(13)
Ativan
(1)
Atropine
(2)
Auntie
(2)
B6
(3)
Banner Baywood
(6)
Bard Power Port
(2)
Barium
(3)
Barley
(1)
Barry White
(1)
bats
(2)
Benadryl
(6)
beneficiaries
(1)
Bewitched
(1)
Biohazard
(1)
Blizzard
(2)
BlizzCon
(2)
Blogger
(1)
blood clots
(5)
blood pressure
(1)
blood transfusion
(1)
bone cancer
(2)
Bone Pain
(6)
Bookworm
(1)
bougainvillea
(2)
brain tumors
(3)
Bras
(1)
bread
(1)
breast cancer
(1)
Breathe Healthy Mask
(1)
breathing
(2)
breathing treatment
(3)
broccoli
(1)
bronchitis
(5)
bruising
(1)
brussels sprouts
(1)
Cabin Fever
(1)
Camptosar
(18)
Cancer
(9)
Carboplatin
(5)
care-givers
(1)
Casserole
(1)
Cat
(1)
Cataclysm
(1)
Catholic School
(1)
Cellulitis
(2)
Change
(1)
chemo brain
(1)
Chemo Side Effects
(6)
Chemotherapy
(34)
chicken breasts
(1)
chicken broth
(1)
Chihuahuas
(8)
children
(1)
chili
(1)
chili peppers
(1)
Chinese food
(1)
Chocolate
(2)
chocolate cake
(1)
choose hope
(1)
Christmas
(3)
Christopher Hitchens
(1)
Cinemagic
(3)
Cinnamon
(1)
Cisco
(1)
claustrophobia
(1)
clinical trials
(3)
cockatoo
(1)
Coffee
(5)
Cold
(5)
collard greens
(1)
Color
(1)
comments
(1)
communication
(1)
Compazine
(3)
compliance
(1)
Compression Stockings
(1)
Congenstive Heart Failure
(1)
constipation
(1)
conversation
(1)
cooking
(2)
Coolaroo
(1)
COPD
(1)
COPD International
(1)
cornbread
(2)
coughing
(7)
coumadin
(9)
Courtesy
(1)
CPAP
(1)
cravings
(5)
creativity
(1)
Crock Pot
(1)
CT Scan
(16)
Cumin
(1)
cupcakes
(2)
Curiosity
(1)
Daniel Sepulveda
(1)
death
(1)
Decadron
(13)
Deep Vein Thrombosis
(2)
Denial of Coverage
(1)
dental procedures
(5)
Depression
(2)
Desert
(1)
Diablo III
(2)
Diabo II
(1)
disabilities
(1)
Dizziness
(1)
Dorothy
(1)
Doubts
(1)
Doxycycline
(5)
Dr. Fastenberg
(12)
Dr. Ramaswamy
(9)
Dr.Ono
(1)
Dragon Age II
(2)
Dreams
(1)
Druid
(2)
dry mouth
(2)
Duchess of Dim-Wittedness
(1)
dungeon runs
(1)
Dust Storm
(1)
DVT
(1)
dying at home
(1)
Echocardiogram
(3)
edema
(1)
elderly neighbor
(1)
Elizabeth Edwards
(1)
emotional baggage
(1)
end of life discussion
(1)
Ensure
(1)
Equinox
(1)
ER
(2)
esophageal cancer
(16)
Evelyn Lyles
(2)
Evil Tumor
(1)
Excessive Heat Warning
(1)
Exhaustion
(4)
eyebrows
(1)
fajitas
(1)
Fall
(2)
family
(6)
Famotidine
(1)
Fatigue
(6)
FDA
(1)
fear
(10)
feeding tube
(1)
fire drill
(1)
FitFlops
(1)
fluids
(1)
flying cars
(1)
Fondaparinux Sodium
(2)
food
(1)
Food Network
(1)
fountain
(1)
Fried Esophagus
(1)
friends
(2)
Game of Thrones
(1)
Garam Masala
(1)
gardening
(1)
Genentech
(1)
General Motors
(1)
George Foreman Grill
(1)
glass of wine
(1)
glucerna
(4)
glucose numbers
(5)
Goblin
(1)
goopiness
(4)
Grace
(1)
grains
(1)
Gratitude
(1)
Great Horned Owl
(3)
grief
(1)
groggy
(1)
Hair changes
(4)
Hair loss
(5)
Halloween
(3)
Hand-Foot Syndrome
(6)
handicapped placard
(1)
happiness
(4)
Hawaii
(1)
Hazardous Materials
(1)
HBO
(1)
healer classes
(2)
Health Insurance
(5)
heart rate
(1)
heat
(4)
heating pad
(1)
Help Desk
(1)
Henna
(1)
heparin
(2)
Her2
(1)
Herceptin
(29)
hibiscus
(4)
home
(2)
hominy
(2)
Horde
(1)
hospice care
(3)
Hospital
(6)
hot tea
(1)
Howard Shore
(1)
humidity
(1)
hummus
(2)
Hunter
(1)
Hydrangeas
(1)
Ice Cream
(1)
IKEA
(1)
incurable
(1)
India
(1)
Infection
(1)
Infusion
(2)
Infusion port
(3)
inoperable cancer
(2)
insomnia
(4)
Iodine
(5)
Ironwood Cancer and Research Center
(12)
Jake
(1)
Jane Sepulveda
(2)
Januvia
(1)
Jerry Sepulveda
(1)
Jetsons
(1)
joy
(1)
Julie
(1)
Jury Duty
(1)
Kashi
(1)
King Crab
(1)
kitchen
(1)
knitted hats
(2)
krill oil
(1)
Lasix
(3)
Laughter
(1)
leave of absence
(1)
leaves
(1)
leg swelling
(1)
Levaquin
(6)
LIFE
(1)
Lifespan
(1)
lightning
(2)
Living
(1)
Living Will
(1)
Lord of the Rings
(1)
Los Angeles
(1)
loss of appetite
(1)
love
(3)
Lumbar Support
(1)
Lunar Eclipse
(2)
lymph nodes
(1)
Maalox
(1)
Machaca Chicken
(1)
magnesium
(1)
Malm
(1)
mastectomy
(1)
Master Chef
(1)
Medco
(1)
Medical Oncologist
(3)
memories
(1)
mental health
(2)
menudo
(1)
Military Macaw
(1)
Millet
(1)
Minions
(2)
Miracle Mouthwash
(1)
MMORPG
(1)
monsoons
(4)
Moonstone
(1)
Mormon
(1)
Mornings
(1)
mortality
(2)
mouth sores
(1)
Movies
(1)
Muesli
(4)
Mufuletta
(1)
Naprosyn
(4)
nausea
(5)
nebulizer
(4)
Necklace
(1)
negativity
(1)
neighbors
(1)
nervous cough
(1)
nervous tic
(1)
Netbook
(1)
Neulasta
(7)
neuroses
(2)
neutropenia
(1)
New Orleans
(1)
Nintendo DS
(1)
normalcy
(1)
nose sores
(1)
NSAID
(1)
Nuns
(2)
nurses
(4)
Nursing Uniform
(1)
NuStep
(6)
nutrition
(3)
Nuts
(1)
ocular migraine
(3)
oncologist
(1)
Oncologists
(4)
Oncology Nurse
(6)
optimism
(1)
Orcs
(2)
Outback Steakhouse
(1)
oxygen saturation
(2)
Pac Man
(1)
pagan
(1)
Pain
(22)
painting
(2)
palliative care
(1)
pancakes
(1)
Panic attack
(1)
Parsnips
(1)
pearls
(1)
Percocet
(2)
Peridot
(1)
Pesto
(1)
PET Scan
(15)
Petunias
(2)
Phenergan
(2)
Phlebotomist
(9)
physiology
(1)
Pico Sepulveda
(1)
pills
(2)
pink fedora
(1)
Platelets
(1)
playing
(1)
Poang Chair
(1)
Point Loma
(1)
Polly
(1)
posole
(1)
Post-chemo insomnia
(3)
Power Outage
(1)
Prednisone
(15)
prescriptions
(1)
Procrit
(1)
prognostications
(1)
Project Runway
(1)
protein
(1)
PT/INR
(9)
Pulmonary embolism
(4)
pulmonologist
(4)
pulse oxymeter
(1)
Pumpkin
(2)
Purple Fedora
(2)
Queen of Neuroses
(11)
quilts
(1)
Quinoa
(2)
Quito
(1)
Radiation Oncologist
(10)
radiation pneumonitis
(2)
Radiation Therapy
(20)
Rain
(3)
ravioli
(1)
reading
(1)
red cabbage
(1)
red meat
(1)
red wine
(2)
remission
(1)
rest
(1)
Rib Eye Roast
(2)
Rice
(2)
Rice Pudding
(2)
risks
(1)
Roomba
(1)
Rozerem
(1)
Ruth Sepulveda
(1)
saguaro
(1)
salmon
(1)
Samhain
(2)
Sarcastic Bitch
(1)
scarlet macaw
(1)
scooter
(5)
See's Candy
(1)
shots
(1)
side effects
(3)
Sinus Infection
(1)
sisters
(3)
Skin changes
(1)
Skyrim
(1)
sleep
(8)
slug
(1)
slumgullion
(1)
snow
(1)
snow crab
(1)
Snowbirds
(1)
soil
(1)
soup
(1)
Southern Baptist Church
(1)
spinach
(1)
Spirituality
(2)
Spring
(1)
Sprouts
(3)
Squash
(12)
Stage IV
(1)
Stencil
(1)
Steroids
(2)
stew
(1)
stomach
(1)
Strep Throat
(1)
stroke
(1)
Stuffed Mushrooms
(1)
subconscious
(1)
summer
(1)
sundial
(1)
Sunlight
(1)
Support Group
(1)
support socks
(1)
Surgeon
(1)
surgery
(1)
Survival Rate
(3)
swallowing
(2)
syringes
(1)
Tassimo
(1)
Tauren
(2)
Taxol
(7)
Taxotere
(1)
tea
(1)
Teeth
(1)
telecommuting
(3)
Templates
(1)
Temporal Thermometer
(1)
TGIF
(1)
Thanksgiving
(2)
The Apothecary Shop
(3)
Therapist
(1)
thigh tumor
(1)
Thrift Stores
(1)
throat changes
(2)
thunder
(1)
Tibetan Monk
(1)
Tiller Joe
(1)
tiramisu
(1)
tomatoes
(3)
Torchwood
(1)
Tortellinis
(1)
Tortilla soup
(3)
Toxic
(2)
Trick or Treat
(1)
Tripe
(1)
Troll Druid
(2)
tumor pictures
(1)
tumor shrinkage
(2)
tumors
(1)
Turmeric
(2)
TV
(2)
Undead Rogue
(1)
US Navy
(1)
USS Nereus
(1)
vancomycin
(1)
vegetables
(6)
Veggie burrito
(1)
veggies
(3)
Veterans' Day
(1)
vicodin
(9)
vinnie the vampire
(1)
visitors
(2)
Walgreen's
(1)
Walker
(5)
water color crayons
(1)
Water Color Pencils
(4)
weakness
(4)
weather
(1)
Weekends
(1)
weight
(1)
Wendy
(1)
Wheat Berries
(1)
Whimpering
(1)
white blood cell counts
(2)
Winter Solstice
(4)
wit
(1)
wooziness
(1)
work
(21)
World of Warcraft
(27)
writing
(1)
Xanax
(10)
Xeloda
(35)
Xoom
(3)
Xopenex
(1)
Xylitol
(3)
Yogurt
(1)
YouTube
(1)
zofran
(3)
Zombie Tequila
(1)
zucchini
(1)
Giiiiiiiirl, WTF, a cupcake maker. Are you sure you do not have a bun in the oven??????? What with all this craving going on, mmm mmm mmm. I laughed out loud when I read that. Actually I have just been to a store here called the Fresh Market and they make the most deeeeeevine, huge cupcakes on the face of the earth. It is so hard to walk past the case on the way to the checkout. I managed though but grabbed a french vanilla loaf cake on the way past, man they are so good, and all baked on site.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow I am off to get my flu shot and this store is right across the road from my doctors office, i can see it from his office window. today i was at my pulmos office which is on the other side of the street, both my doctors offices with this store in the middle and me needing to lose weight, fuhget about it. So needless to say I shall have another trip in there again tomorrow, twice in one week, heaven.
You sound a little more upbeat today. I am glad about that. I get scared when you are a bit down, not that i blame you one little bit with what you are having to endure. I just like it better when you are being funny.
anyway luvvie, have a good one today. tomorrow will be better
fay in the family room
oh and meant to say, I am celebrating an anniversary too. It has been one year this month that we left AZ. My goodness it feels like yesterday we were pulling out of our driveway. We moved into this house in December and that is when I first found you. I was sitting in a freezing basement on a box with my laptop cause that was the only place we had an internet connection, oh how things have changed for both of us.
ReplyDeleteFay
I just kind of think my whole body chemistry is so off right now, that cravings just happen. HAH, bun in the oven... girl, you have to stop talking about food! :D
ReplyDeleteFay, you'll find my moods are in direct proportion to where I am in the chemo cycle. I'm on my chemo week OFF, now, so I'm starting to feel a bit better, and my mood goes back to my normally cheery self.
Happy Philly Anniversary! And hugs!
T
So it is a bit like PMS????? ;D
ReplyDeleteFay
Tequila, I just want to drop by to give you some hugs ((((((((((Tequila))))))))))) and tell you I think you're wonderful. I'd send you a cupcake (or as we call them over here, fairy cakes), but I don't think it'd travel across the Atlantic too well.
ReplyDeleteTake care of your lovely self,
Becky
Hola, Becky! I think Fairy Cakes is a much more colorful name for cupcakes. :)
ReplyDeleteAs always, thank you for the hugs; they are MUCH appreciated and returned!